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September 9th, 2013 11:51 AM #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2013
I am going CRAZY, and I need some help.
Hello. My name is Lily. I am married to Kevin. We always wanted three kids, and shortly after our marriage, we welcomed: Evelyn Rose (8) Hannah Kate (6) and Isabelle Lucy (4). We weren't planning on a 4th, but, we welcomed a healthy baby boy 3 years ago, who we named Colin Thomas. My life with 4 kids has been crazy, and even though I was on BC, I ran out and I forgot to refill for awhile (I would tell you how long, but I honestly cant remember). Anyways, our anniversary was in March, and about 8 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. The 12 week scan revealed it was twins. Stunned, shocked and very nervous can describe my feelings to say the least. I am just really afraid about handling 6 kids. They are due in December, and I cant even bring my self to pick names, look for clothes, or even talk about the pregnancy with my family and friends. I cry, ALOT, about it, almost every night. I know I will love these babies, but I cant help but feel I am selling the other short by adding more. I just want some mommy advice, about anything to do with raising twins, 6 kids under age 8, or just how to get over this. I am going crazy and I just need some help to prepare. Thanks to all who reply.
September 9th, 2013 12:21 PM #3
I only have 2 kids and couldn't imagine having more, so I can't exactly relate to how busy you must be. But I did have a very unexpected baby #2, and it was horrible timing. I cried a lot and seriously considered an abortion. I got extremely depressed, and realized I had to go get help. If you ever feel you are extremely depressed there is help.I found a women's clinic who not only delt with PPD but with depression during pregnancy, and they follow up with you much as you need after the baby. If you need this hopefully in your area they have something.
As for what you can do to get prepared, I started making doubles every night and freezing them. I would make 2 lasagnas or casserols and freeze one. Same with things like hamburgers, chili and soups. Ask some family and friends to come help after the babies are born. Maybe your mom/or in law can come stay a couple nights or more. Then someone else, hopefully you can have someone come at least for a few hours to help out. And you also have 2 older girls who are going to be extremely excited for 2 new babies. I'm sure they will love helping out a bit.
September 9th, 2013 12:34 PM #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
I don't have the personal experience to help (not even 1 precious child yet, but I'm still trying). Your situation did remind me of the genealogy work I've done--so many families in my ancestry with 8-20 children being raised without electricity, running water or any modern conveniences. I can't even fathom how they managed, but they made it, and you will too. Just take it one day at a time and enlist as much assistance from family and friends as you can get! Best of luck to you!!
September 9th, 2013 12:53 PM #7
Like the others I can't really imagine your situation, having no kids myself, but your feelings of being overwhelmed, out of your depth, and uncertain are 100% understandable.
Look around you and see who you can enlist for support. Friends who'd be willing to give of their time, church groups who'd lend support, social service programs that could council you and connect you to good programs, family that could step up. What about working with your older kids to start to build up a sense of responsibility and ownership in the family process. An 8 year old girl can do a lot more than you might think in terms of helping with cleaning and keeping an eye out for the younger kids. Now is the time to foster teamwork.Olivia/Livia/Livy/Liv : Thessaly/Darah/Bethel : Noelle/Eve
Benedict/Eli: Jude/Zane: Luke/Darius : Levi/Phineas/Calvin
September 9th, 2013 01:18 PM #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
- Des Moines, IA
I understand. I am currently pregnant with twins. And while we only have the one older son, I completely lost it last week - so worried about finances and space, and how everyone assumes that we can go buy a new larger car - not getting that I don't think we can take on another car payment with a monthly increase of $1000 a month in daycare.
We wanted another baby for so long, but the concept of 2 at once is daunting. And having so many friends who struggle to have one baby... I don't feel comfortable discussing it with them.
I suggest finding an unbiased person to talk to. That means, outside of the church, state or school system. Talk to your OB, tell them that you need a sounding board. They will have the references for you.
you will love these babies as much as your other children, and they will all be happy together. But that doesn't invalidate your feelings now. You have the right to your feelings.
Good luck. *hugs* sent your way.Mom to:
Weston Christopher, July 2008
Keegan Nathaniel, Dec. 12, 2013
Sebastian Miller, Dec. 12, 2013
~ Emerson ~ Eden ~ Rosalind ~ Caroline ~ Matilda ~ Gemma ~
~ Landon ~ Kellan ~ Asher ~ Griffin ~ Archer ~ Edison ~ Holden ~ Harrison ~ Elliot ~