View Poll Results: What would you do with Javier?
- 63. You may not vote on this poll
Keep his name as is -- Javier Alexander
Change it -- J. Alexander
Change it -- Jay Alexander
Change it -- Xavier Alexander
Another option (Please post below!)
Results 11 to 15 of 15
September 9th, 2013 08:27 PM #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
Amen to that! Please don't let fear of some moment of possible future discriminating twerp affect this decision. If your family wants to change the name to distance themselves from his bio father, I would also tread lightly for little guy's sake... But it sounded to me like it's mostly to do with Javier not seeming to blend with his new last name. (?) In that case I think the best option is to leave him as Javier Alexander, legally, and nickname him Jay. As pp said, in Europe no one would even blink at a blond, blue-eyed Javier! When he's old enough, you can also give him the option of going by anything from J to Zander, etc.
Wishing all the best to your fam.
September 9th, 2013 11:38 PM #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
First of all, this makes me very sad. That is such an incredibly sensitive age. To change a child's name for such small reasons is in my honest opinion such a disrespect to the people who named him and to the child himself, that's it's almost hard to believe anyone would even consider it. But I am speaking as someone who essentially had my own mother abandon me as a child. My stepmother and father strongly encouraged me to use a different variation of my name. This came back to haunt them, I can assure you. I and Javier can't change what was by changing our names.
Nobody should ever try to change Javier's identity or take away the one thing his mom may have ever given to him.
ETA: I was not clear on whether or not the mom was in on the renaming. My honest opinion is that when somebody tried to rename their child this late in the game it could be a subconscious way for them to try and wash their hands of past mistakes. Also not a good reason to rename a child that old.
Last edited by verminator; September 9th, 2013 at 11:42 PM.
September 10th, 2013 09:21 AM #15
Thanks, everyone, for the honest feedback. I've told my mother that maybe we should just drop the idea of changing his name and just change his last name. I understand, of course, that he is in the process of forming his identity, and I assure you, no one wants to mess that up. It's just a hard situation. Unfortunately, my parents and I do not know who Javier's father is--I'm not even sure my stepsister (Javier's mother--who is in his life) knows herself. However, we do know that it is not the man who picked the name Javier! I told Mom that if my stepsister doesn't want to change it, then we shouldn't. Mom said she goes back and forth about it. I think we probably won't--which is what most of you agree with--but it's something that we were thinking about. Thanks for your help, berries.
pet peeves: nicknames as given names; unconventional spellings; masculine names on girls
not-so-guilty pleasures: five-syllable girls' names; virtue and nature names; over-the-top antique names for boys
(if i repeat name suggestions in a thread, it's because i like them! no apologies here for repeats of great names! )
September 10th, 2013 10:16 AM #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Well if the decision is to change it, I'd say Xavier is the smoothest transition. He can't read or write yet so he has no idea what his name looks like. Xavier/Javier are almost identical in sound and spelling. Start calling him Xavi "zaw-vee" or X. When he's older you can explain that it's the same name but the X spelling fit him better
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September 10th, 2013 12:57 PM #19
At this point, regarding changing his first name, you might as well wait until he's old enough to understand it himself. If you want to keep the option, start calling him Jay now as a nickname, so he's at least used to it.
Honestly, though, I think you should keep it.I’m just trying to behave as I think a friend should behave. Granted, I haven’t had much practice.
~Elphaba Thropp, Wicked, by Gregory Maguire