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  1. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Sweden
    Posts
    691
    We had a similar problem with our twins (2 years old) and I actually brought it up on a visit to a family counselor (sort of a support person for families of young kids in our neighborhood that you can book time with). She advised us to totally and completely ignore it. Her point was that words are not something like an action that you can physically stop a small child from doing. And at this age they crave the attention, any attention. Before we talked to her, we had tried the time out thing or just holding them on our laps and looking at them seriously and telling them 'No! That is not a nice word!' etc. It TOTALLY backfired! Like out of control crazy backfired. I think one boy ran around saying the word every 10 seconds for the rest of the evening, and we felt we had to be consistent with our chosen approach so each time we grabbed him, looked him in the eye and told him NO! blah blah blah. Not a productive choice for such little kids.

    I think kids ages 2-3 are testing boundaries and it is important to help them define what is right and what is wrong but once you've said calmly 'That is not a nice word' I would suggest moving on and trying to find a way that you can legitimately give him the attention he is looking for in a positive way. For example, steer him towards some game or toy he likes and see if you can get him involved in counting something or describing something for you so you can engage him in conversation. I know my kids often act up when they want attention because I am doing something else so maybe see if he can help you with some task (kill two birds with one stone so to speak- attention for your son AND getting chores done)- unloading the dishwasher, putting away laundry, etc...

    It didn't work immediately, but over the course of a few weeks they got the message and stopped using that word to get attention. They understood that they had to do positive things to get a reaction rather than negative things.

    Good luck!
    Mama to twin boys Oliver Graham and Luke Axel

  2. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    2,299
    I don't have any children myself (I'm far too young!) but my little cousin who I see almost everyday started using the f word about a year ago and at first my auntie tried telling him off for saying it and giving him a tine out. But he just kept on doing it so she decided to just ignore it completely and not reacting at all. He soon learnt that he wasn't getting attention from doing although I do still hear him saying it under his breathe, he is now at an age where he understands that you can't say certain things to people or use rude language towards his friends family or anyone else for that matter. Hope you figure something out!

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    PA, USA
    Posts
    548
    Quote Originally Posted by celianne View Post
    Having worked for the last three months with this age group, this is a terrible idea! No reaction works with words like 'darn' or 'dumb' or 'stupid,' which aren't really as big of a deal, and are certainly better alternatives, but for things like $h!t and it's counterparts, you really should crack down. Give him one warning, if that, and after that time out, send him to his room, whatever punishments you guys typically use.
    If you will read my response more closely, you will realize that I never recommended having no reaction. In fact, I suggested giving a verbal warning and then, if the behavior continues, using a time out or other form of discipline. Having gone through four years of education to work with young children, and having over two years of daily experience with this age group, I think I'm qualified to give advice on this topic.

    OP, I hope you find a strategy that works well for you!

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    879
    Quote Originally Posted by leahmarie512 View Post
    If you will read my response more closely, you will realize that I never recommended having no reaction. In fact, I suggested giving a verbal warning and then, if the behavior continues, using a time out or other form of discipline. Having gone through four years of education to work with young children, and having over two years of daily experience with this age group, I think I'm qualified to give advice on this topic.
    You're right; my wording was off. I correct myself: In my experience, a MILD reaction isn't nearly as effective as a strong reaction.
    I'm not feeling incredibly profound at the moment. Check back later.

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    1,109
    We all cuss like sailors in my household, and in my house when I was a kid, but I never had an issue of copying my Mom and saying them in public or anything. I think because they were such a non issue, they were just part of the vocabulary, so I never had the "oooh, bad word" stigma and thought they were taboo in any fashion. I plan on Rowan growing up that way too. There are no bad words, some are just unnecessary in certain company. At this point, she hasn't copied us or started screaming obscenities in the grocery store, so I think it's working.

    My best friend's little brother was about 3 and his Mom almost got sideswiped by a semi truck on the highway and she yelled "F@#king truck!" and the whole rest of the trip, her brother would point and exclaim "F@#king truck!" every time he saw a semi. We just laughed and he stopped doing it after a few hours. No biggie.
    My cherished daughter, Rowan Jane. ~b. 10/2011~


    Sawyer ~ Aven ~ Elowen ~ Sage ~ Eilonwy ~ Eleanor
    Morgan ~ Asher ~ ___ ~ ___ ~ Currently trying to fill the blanks...


    Trying for #2 in January 2014.

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