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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    1,172
    Quote Originally Posted by tomaura226 View Post
    It's totally normal to start getting the baby itch in your twenties. It's just a normal biological reaction to all the hormones your body produces when you are fertile. It only gets worse! But, luckily women in our society know enough now to be able to at least attempt to plan our families, so just because your body wants a baby doesn't mean your brain has to acquiesce. If I had listened to my hormones, I would have had about 3 or 4 kids by now. I've been married a while and we made the conscious decision to delay having kids until we had spent a lot of time nurturing our own marriage (and having a lot of childless fun!). Now our lives are about to change for the better, I think, but I also know that the days of staying out all night, sleeping in every weekend, traveling on a whim, etc are pretty much going to be over. So I'm glad I had my early 20s with all that freedom.
    I think baby names are one way that we can channel those maternal feelings when the time is not right in real life (no stable partner, shaky finances, having growing up to do). Sure, you can be a good parent without having those things, but it certainly makes it a lot harder. So name away, but enjoy your 20s!

    Excellent advice!
    New username is @ truenature

  2. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    763
    I am older but not financially stable yet and I haven't my life partner (by older I mean 25). Sometimes I wish I could skip ahead to the good times. So I think you are normal.
    I agree it's normal. It's also good to focus on the things you have now (hopefully). Friends, family, etc. The one thing I want to say is I think it's fine to dream about your future and your life ahead of you, now is not the time. I mean I don't know you, but I do know several friends (of both genders) who had children very young and those people love their children, but it's really hard and I've seen first hand the struggles that come with that. Some of them probably thought they could do it, and they do, but they are overwhelmed and stressed and tired. I think reality is often different from fantasy. It's very different to see cute children a couple hours a day and another thing to be responsible and on 24-7.
    My advice is keep dreaming, but also you seemed to imply you are/were sexually active which is fine and none-of-my-business really. It's your life, you get to make decisions for yourself. My only reason for bringing it up is that it is probably not a good idea to let your fantasy of having a child affect your decisions for birth control. If you feel you are not in a position to have a child, then you should take precautions to prevent pregnancy. (Also STD's (just to put it out there).
    If you feel the fantasizing is putting you at risk then you should lay off a little. Make a list of why you are not ready to have a kid, remind yourself of why, and keep the list where you can see it.
    I was in your shoes once and sort of still am, so I sympathize. I also feel that last part was a little more personal than I usually like to be, but I feel it's important to speak my mind and tell you the truth which you may need to hear. I personally think having a kid even just one is a responsibility and priviledge and it annoys me that I know so many people in real life who act like it's a game, or a joke, or a toy. If it's game, it's one with incredibly high stakes. You're bringing someone into for life and it's a lifetime commitment, not one I would take lightly.
    I hope everything goes well for you. I hope classes are good. I wish you nothing but the best. Good luck!

  3. #20
    I used to think about having kids all the time when I wasn't in a financial position to do so. Now that I am married and could financially support kids (even though ideally we'd be bringing in a little more money than we do now), I want kids even LESS because I can better imagine exactly the resources I'd need. KWIM? I still want a kid, but not right now. Granted, if I did have one in the near future, I'd be completely happy. But I have a more realistic picture of everything I need to do before that happens, and that makes me want to spend a bit more time child-free.

  4. #22
    I totally know what you mean! I'm young, married, and in medical school and sometimes I get really stressed out trying to figure out the prime time in our careers for baby-making. Babies + med school do not mix very well and we're currently barely making enough to get by, but that doesn't stop me from slightly secretly hoping I'll get pregnant. It's an especially favorite alternate life-plan when school is extra difficult - "well maybe I'll just get pregnant and drop out." - haha! I think it's also especially hard because my cousins and a few of our friends who got married the same time as us are having babies now. My therapy - focus your naming energy on THEIR babies. Whether you actually suggest the names to them is up to you : )

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