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  1. #31
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    May 2012
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    I tend to reply to posters where the OP responds to the people who reply individually - or when he OP takes time to give a thoughtful response allowing me to tweek later suggestions to their feedback. I like feeling my responses matter. If there are four pages of responses but the OP doesn't reply at all - I wont make the effort. (Unless it's a poll - then a "Thanks everyone!" totally works for me.)
    MAJOR CONSTRUCTION ZONE
    newlywed!!! (not trying...yet)

  2. #33
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    Jan 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by celianne View Post
    I'm not interested in their 'point.' I have yet to run across a situation where I feel that the best way out of something is to lie and cheat people of their time. Their intentions don't interest me, their reasons or their unpleasant lives. Lying is not the solution to their problems, they should take their little dollhouse and put it where it belongs.



    I agree, and like you, I'm careful. But some people aren't. Personal responsibility on the internet includes lying, and I won't take excuses for that.

    That's a very absolutist statement, considering the insistence of "normality" as a yardstick for "real". I feel the hyperfocus on "oh no, someone on the internet might lie!" actually increases lying, for those who are afraid of being called fake because their actual lives aren't boring enough to skate by under the radar, and that those who are less ethical or benevolent in their online activities become better at their lies, create even tighter stories, and end up fooling more people.

    Some people aren't careful, but there is very little else to do other than try to teach other people how to be careful. I think liars on the internet are an overall good thing (not condoning lying, hear me out). The types of lies you see online tend to be less harmful (tend to be, not always are) than lies perpetrated in real life. I think the presence of catfishers and role players help people who are not as careful as us create a greater sense of skepticism, which benefits in real life. There are just so many lies- political lies, mainstream media lies, religious lies- that are more harmful to people than someone lying about how many kids they have or their name. I'm never going to give my real name on a website like this, and if someone asks my name for some reason I will happily give a fake one. Does that make me a liar and a cheater? Is me saying my name is Mae or Julie because I don't want my real name linked to my internet accounts really as awful as lying about why a country is going to war or covering up sex crimes or actual cheating? And is lying about your name, or to a greater extent creating a fictional backstory, really as awful as an actual scam that takes people's actual money or identities? There are so many other things to be angry about, someone playing fantasy on the internet just doesn't seem like such a big deal. I also have a strong suspicion most of these fake posters are teenagers, and there are way WAY worse things they could be doing with their time. I'm much happier about a teenager lying about having a kid online than a teenager having a kid, and if that's something that helps them work through whatever issues they have, I have a hard time condemning it.

    And spending all your time on an internet forum about baby names, coming from someone who comes here fairly often, a few times a week, isn't really being productive, so if someone lies about having a kid or twins for whatever reason, it doesn't really seem like the time used up on reading their posts is that significant compared to the rest of the time wasted away on the internet. And I'll be the first here to admit I come here (and most websites) out of procrastination and time wasting, but I'm not going to pretend that reading a post that's made up is really wasting my time or detracting from something more important, because it's not. I'm still going to be talking about baby names at the end of it, and that's what we're here for. What time is being cheated?

    There is no excuse for lying that causes actual harm, but lying that causes no harm- and I would not consider someone getting all riled up about something someone wrote on Nameberry to be actual harm, just hysteria- seems to sit more in the moral grey zone.

  3. #35
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    Jan 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by renrose View Post
    I'll just repeat. If you think there are trolls we've missed and can catch them in the act then please send me or Sarah your evidence
    Sorry, I meant 6 reasons, not 6 people. It was a bit ambiguously worded so I can understand the confusion.
    I honestly haven't spotted any trolls because I don't pay that much attention.

  4. #37
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    Apr 2013
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    879
    Quote Originally Posted by maepae View Post
    That's a very absolutist statement, considering the insistence of "normality" as a yardstick for "real".

    ...

    There is no excuse for lying that causes actual harm, but lying that causes no harm- and I would not consider someone getting all riled up about something someone wrote on Nameberry to be actual harm, just hysteria- seems to sit more in the moral grey zone.
    Sorry to not quote the whole thing -- my response to the paragraph I left out is: Fair enough, you certainly make some valid points.

    I'm a bit of an absolutist person. I can understand and accept the moral gray zones, but in the end I still find it hard to gloss over things like that. I've never been a sugarcoater, so while I can sympathize with people who have issues, I firmly believe that there are always better options than lying; to ignore them in favor of causing harm, even if it is something silly like a naming website (I fully understand that this isn't a big deal -- the worst faker has caused mild harm, at worst), is lazy and ridiculous. I just have no respect for it, and if it is in my power to do anything about it, I will. For me, letting it slide is like saying 'Yes, go right ahead!' My stubborn personality doesn't let me accept it as the minor thing it is, if that makes sense.
    I'm not feeling incredibly profound at the moment. Check back later.

  5. #39
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    Jan 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by celianne View Post
    Sorry to not quote the whole thing -- my response to the paragraph I left out is: Fair enough, you certainly make some valid points.

    I'm a bit of an absolutist person. I can understand and accept the moral gray zones, but in the end I still find it hard to gloss over things like that. I've never been a sugarcoater, so while I can sympathize with people who have issues, I firmly believe that there are always better options than lying; to ignore them in favor of causing harm, even if it is something silly like a naming website (I fully understand that this isn't a big deal -- the worst faker has caused mild harm, at worst), is lazy and ridiculous. I just have no respect for it, and if it is in my power to do anything about it, I will. For me, letting it slide is like saying 'Yes, go right ahead!' My stubborn personality doesn't let me accept it as the minor thing it is, if that makes sense.

    Well no one has to respect it. I just overall think it's not as big of a deal as people like the OP make it out to be, and that coming down on something so minor with an iron fist gives that very thing itself more power. I think calling it out when one sees it is a perfectly logical and reasonable thing to do, but getting super riled up about it just doesn't seem proportional. The punishment has to fit the crime, you know? I'm not saying "oh just ignore it if you see it," I'm more trying to say "don't worry about it so much, it isn't that big of a deal."

    For the record I'm a pretty stubborn person myself and can be straightforward to the point of brash, but I have learned to pick my battles. There are so many other things to be pissed off about, and I come to Nameberry for a break from the day, and taking it so seriously doesn't do anything but make it a less pleasant experience for oneself.
    Last edited by maepae; September 12th, 2013 at 02:11 PM.

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