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  1. #26
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    879
    It's a matter of time and energy invested in these fake families. If you want to roleplay, there are plenty of sites specifically for that. Play Sims. Second Life. Runescape. Whatever. But don't go around getting people caught up in your story, befriending them based on your imaginary life, taking their time and energy just so you aren't bored. It's cruel and unacceptable.

    That's why we care. Because no one wants to waste their time on someone else's fantasy. I have no problem helping out a real person with a real question for their real life, but I'm not going to feed liars and manipulators more fuel for their personal little fire.

    Witch hunts ruin sites like this. There is no reason to dig into someone's story for the sake of finding a faker, but if something raises a few red flags, there's nothing wrong with questioning it. If you suspect a faker, ignore them; if you have proof, report them. That's not a witch hunt. It's just practicality.
    I'm not feeling incredibly profound at the moment. Check back later.

  2. #28
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    968
    OP, I don't know where you're going with this anymore, to be honest.

    Are you saying having unusual names like Faerydae on Rapunzel on a name-list makes someone a faker? Because that simply isn't the case. I had Faerydae on my list as a middle for Alice. I love the name, I think it's whimsical and magical and yes, unique. Husband vetoed the name, and it was moved to my GP list, where it has remained for almost a year now. So if I am a faker, what am I faking? I've never claimed to be pregnant or even TTC. I don't have children, or story characters, or even pets that I'm naming. I'm simply discussing names with people who have similar taste and building lists of combos in preparation for the future. I also have "normal" names on my lists, like Alice, Eve, and Lucy, and my threads for these names have received just as many responses as my threads for Caspian and Zion.

    Are you just looking to vent your frustration that you enjoy names like Jane or John and feel like Faerydae and Rapunzel are getting more attention on the forums? If that is the case, think about the fact that in the "real world" outside of Nameberry, Jane and John are extremely popular and widely accepted, whereas Faerydae and Rapunzel raise eyebrows at best and frequently generate shrieks of mocking laughter. For those of us who love unusual, truly unique names, these forums are a haven where we can talk about those secret favorites with like-minded people. If you feel like you and your tastes are in the minority here, how you handle that is your choice. Of course you could get upset about it and insult the choices of people with more adventurous tastes, or you could use this experience to help you be more understanding towards people whose tastes put them in the "real world" minority. And you can take comfort in the fact that at least no one is calling Jane and John ridiculous and outrageous or getting upset because they are popular.
    Zion Nathaniel ~ Solomon Fable ~ Balthazar Wolf ~ Malachi Sparrow nn Kai ~ Tobias Rowan ~ Endymion _____ nn Ender ~ Caspian _____
    Alice Willow ~ Ophelia Wren ~ Lucia Pearl ~ Eve Wisteria nn Evie ~ Cosima Rose ~ River _____

    GPs
    Narnia Rose, Luna Seraphine, Astoria nn Story, Illyria, Serafina, Soraya, Faerydae
    Orion Melchior North, Tobias Loki, Edmund, Frost, Oberon, Kenshin, Remiel, Atreyu

  3. #30
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,072
    Quote Originally Posted by celianne View Post
    It's a matter of time and energy invested in these fake families. If you want to roleplay, there are plenty of sites specifically for that. Play Sims. Second Life. Runescape. Whatever. But don't go around getting people caught up in your story, befriending them based on your imaginary life, taking their time and energy just so you aren't bored. It's cruel and unacceptable.

    That's why we care. Because no one wants to waste their time on someone else's fantasy. I have no problem helping out a real person with a real question for their real life, but I'm not going to feed liars and manipulators more fuel for their personal little fire.

    Witch hunts ruin sites like this. There is no reason to dig into someone's story for the sake of finding a faker, but if something raises a few red flags, there's nothing wrong with questioning it. If you suspect a faker, ignore them; if you have proof, report them. That's not a witch hunt. It's just practicality.
    Cruel? I highly doubt cruelty is the point of these posters, that assumes that their motivation for posting is less about them and more about you. At that point it's not what other people are doing, but exactly how much effort you put into faceless, nameless people on websites. I personally give no backstory, because I am concerned about my privacy and prefer being a faceless, nameless poster who just talks about names, I'm not interested in becoming a staple on the boards or recognizable or make friends, but some people feel it's necessary to have a cute signature and a backstory that's interesting, usually better than their real lives.

    This is a website about baby names, not a friend matchmaker. It's not Plenty of Fish or Facebook or Myspace. Or you could go outside to make friends who you can see and prove are as real as you are. Making "friends" on forum websites runs the obvious risk of people with fake backstories for whatever reason (I can think of at least 6 right now, including privacy concerns and inadequacy issues) and it's your responsibility, not everyone else's, to use your own judgement and common sense when it comes to strangers. It's like finding a picture you posted online being used somewhere else, and being mad that someone right-clicked and saved an image off the internet that you didn't watermark or copyright. Yeah, a certain degree of that is someone doing something selfish without thinking of other people, but we can't ignore that there's a certain degree of personal responsibility involved. If you don't want you picture stolen, don't put it online or put the time into watermarking it. And in continuation of the metaphor, if you don't want to get catfished, put a little care, effort, and skepticism into what emotional attachment you create to what a stranger is posting on the internet. That's practicality.

    TL;DR people are responsible for what they post, but not responsible for how emotionally invested a stranger becomes in their story.

    I agree, if you suspect someone is fake, don't play into it if you don't want to. If you think someone is taking a bunch of people for a ride, call them out or report them. But so many people put so much effort into being angry that the block of text they read is a fictional character and ignore the actual text and what's going on. If someone is trying to get money out of someone, sure that's an awful thing. But "I want names that mean this and sound like this for my imaginary twins" is perfectly harmless, unless the reader puts a huge amount of weight on it themselves.

    Quote Originally Posted by sleepysessha View Post
    OP, I don't know where you're going with this anymore, to be honest.

    Are you saying having unusual names like Faerydae on Rapunzel on a name-list makes someone a faker?

    Are you just looking to vent your frustration that you enjoy names like Jane or John and feel like Faerydae and Rapunzel are getting more attention on the forums? If that is the case, think about the fact that in the "real world" outside of Nameberry, Jane and John are extremely popular and widely accepted, whereas Faerydae and Rapunzel raise eyebrows at best and frequently generate shrieks of mocking laughter. For those of us who love unusual, truly unique names, these forums are a haven where we can talk about those secret favorites with like-minded people. If you feel like you and your tastes are in the minority here, how you handle that is your choice. Of course you could get upset about it and insult the choices of people with more adventurous tastes, or you could use this experience to help you be more understanding towards people whose tastes put them in the "real world" minority. And you can take comfort in the fact that at least no one is calling Jane and John ridiculous and outrageous or getting upset because they are popular.
    You have a really good point. I think the majority of fuel for the "faker" fire lies in what people consider 'unusual'. I'm sure if I posted some stuff about my personal life I would be called a faker too because I've had some weird and interesting stuff (and drama and trauma) happen to me. It's a base idea of "that's different from MY normal so it must not be real!" and it's hard to tell if it's lack of imagination or just close-mindedness.
    Last edited by maepae; September 11th, 2013 at 06:13 PM.

  4. #32
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    879
    Quote Originally Posted by maepae View Post
    Cruel? I highly doubt cruelty is the point of these posters, that assumes that their motivation for posting is less about them and more about you. At that point it's not what other people are doing, but exactly how much effort you put into faceless, nameless people on websites. I personally give no backstory, because I am concerned about my privacy and prefer being a faceless, nameless poster who just talks about names, I'm not interested in becoming a staple on the boards or recognizable or make friends, but some people feel it's necessary to have a cute signature and a backstory that's interesting, usually better than their real lives.
    I'm not interested in their 'point.' I have yet to run across a situation where I feel that the best way out of something is to lie and cheat people of their time. Their intentions don't interest me, their reasons or their unpleasant lives. Lying is not the solution to their problems, they should take their little dollhouse and put it where it belongs.

    Quote Originally Posted by maepae View Post
    This is a website about baby names, not a friend matchmaker. It's not Plenty of Fish or Facebook or Myspace. Or you could go outside to make friends who you can see and prove are as real as you are. Making "friends" on forum websites runs the obvious risk of people with fake backstories for whatever reason (I can think of at least 6 right now, including privacy concerns and inadequacy issues) and it's your responsibility, not everyone else's, to use your own judgement and common sense when it comes to strangers. It's like finding a picture you posted online being used somewhere else, and being mad that someone right-clicked and saved an image off the internet that you didn't watermark or copyright. Yeah, a certain degree of that is someone doing something selfish without thinking of other people, but we can't ignore that there's a certain degree of personal responsibility involved. If you don't want you picture stolen, don't put it online or put the time into watermarking it. And in continuation of the metaphor, if you don't want to get catfished, put a little care, effort, and skepticism into what emotional attachment you create to what a stranger is posting on the internet. That's practicality.

    TL;DR people are responsible for what they post, but not responsible for how emotionally invested a stranger becomes in their story.
    I agree, and like you, I'm careful. But some people aren't. Personal responsibility on the internet includes lying, and I won't take excuses for that.
    I'm not feeling incredibly profound at the moment. Check back later.

  5. #34
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Liverpool, England
    Posts
    4,141
    Quote Originally Posted by maepae View Post
    Making "friends" on forum websites runs the obvious risk of people with fake backstories for whatever reason (I can think of at least 6 right now, including privacy concerns and inadequacy issues) and it's your responsibility, not everyone else's, to use your own judgement and common sense when it comes to strangers.
    I'll just repeat. If you think there are trolls we've missed and can catch them in the act then please send me or Sarah your evidence
    ~Boys~

    Jory Leander Atticus, August Eli Benedict, Casimir Mordecai Stewart,
    Edmond John Meirion, Horatio Ethell Emery, Bram William Jasper,
    Julian Remy Charles, Vasiliy Lochlan Michael.


    ~Girls~

    Aira Rose ___, Eleni Fiorella Charlotte, Sylvia Sayuri Noor,
    Merit Eleanora Adelaide, Clover Elodie Seraphine, Bridie Scarlett Viola,
    Marguerite Cecilia Iris, Eilidh Clara Valentine.


    Sorry to anyone who read TSI. First draft was terrible. Second drafting now.

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