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Thread: How Long Did You Wait?
September 3rd, 2013 06:38 PM #26Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
I met my husband in high school. We were both 15 and started dating about three or four months after we met. I knew I was in love with him about a year after we started dating. We dated for four and a half years before we got engaged, we were nineteen when we got engaged and were 20 when we got married. I have been married for 5 years now, we have talked about baby names on and off again, now we talk about them all the time, since we are discussing TTC, but before not so much. I too, am a strong Christian who waited until I was married to have sex, and it was definitely the right choice for my husband and I. So, sending you plenty of encouragement and prayers to stay strong in your convictions! As to your question of what if it seems too fast? When you are with the right person then it does not matter how long you have been together. Making a marriage, or any relationship for that matter work is dependent on how hard you are willing to work to make the relationship work, not how long you have known that person. I say if he is the right one, then keep him around! And as to your question about families/friends reactions, my family accepted him very quickly and absolutely adore him, his family was extremely accepting of me. I have always felt like a part of his family, even before we were engaged.
September 3rd, 2013 07:48 PM #28
@Mikayla - Not to be rude, but you should probably mention that you and your boyfriend have split up. Your advice ("If you love him, and things are feeling good, then don't worry about what your family and friends think. It doesn't matter if they think its moving too fast or not, what matters is what you and your boyfriend think.") is probably not very appropriate given that your parents were right and you're now a teenage single mother.
Last edited by sarahmezz; September 3rd, 2013 at 07:51 PM.TTC #1
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September 4th, 2013 08:28 AM #30Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
@namergirl3 Thanks! I also want to say that I really respect and commend you for holding fast to your standards- no sexual contact before marriage and no living together. You will never regret living up to your beliefs.
September 16th, 2013 01:20 AM #32Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2012
Hey everyone, sorry it has taken me so long to get back to this thread. I've been busy, sick, and then remembered to track this down. It's a little hard to remember what each one of you has said specificaly, so I'll kinda have to blanket-statement this..sorry again :/
I read thru each of your responses a few times over, making mental notes of different points people brought up. And, as always, you all had some great points..and thankyou for also sharing your own stories and experiences! As was mentioned, there really doesn't seem to be any "one-size-fits-all" way of relationships. I guess I was worrying too much of what people would think or say behind my back..I'll admit, I've done that myself so I'm aware of what could potentially be said.
Since I've created this thread, my boyfriend and I have talked extensively on this topic. We agreed to take things really slow. By that I mean, not making a step until the other is comfortable with it. For instance, he knows I've been hurt in the past, so he assured me the whole first kiss thing (ours...and mine) won't happen until I'm completely comfortable with it. We also know we have alot of maturing to do before we could ever be more serious..both individually and as a couple. He has a mentor who is like a dad to him, and I have a network of adult women, including my mother, who I can go to for advice. We know that we can trust our support systems and if they bring anything to our attention, we will address that. Engagement, marriage, and kids are sort of 'end game' for us..they'll happen in their own time but we are not ready for them now. He has hinted that he loves me, but I told him honestly that I'm not at that point yet...and he's fine with it. At this point, I'm not ready for any of that..and truth be told, he isn't either. We both know what can happen..and that's a reason why we are so steadfast on the no sexual contact before marriage/no living together before marriage. I'm not condemning anyone who has differing beliefs or lifestyles, but it is important to us as a couple to make sure these boundaries are in place.
We both come from broken homes, and know all too well what divorce, bad relationships, and sorts of things can happen. We don't want that for ourselves or our possible future children.. We will make mistakes, but rushing our fingers into rings isn't one we want to make.
Thankyou all again for your awesome responses.. I really love this community on here...even though we are all different in ways, everyone still will come together to offer help and honest opinions and advice when a fellow Berry needs it
September 16th, 2013 02:07 AM #34
I don't know if I would call it love, but I knew that first night we met that it felt "different" from other first dates/encounters. I knew that I would spend a long time with him, and we were instantly bonded. I felt more comfortable with him than with any past boyfriend, and I knew I could completely be myself. We were living together in under 3 months, and I think we said I love you after a few weeks (and he said it first )My cherished daughter, Rowan Jane. ~b. 10/2011~
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Trying for #2 in January 2014.