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Thread: Day Care

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Wishing for Greece, stuck in the US
    Posts
    6,008
    Just putting my two cents in to your questions @vitamom, I would be worried that my mother would do things I didn't want with my daughter. Those are the lines I'd be worried about. My mom and my parenting style is different and my mom's the type to say "Whatever, I'll do what I want". Those are the boundries I'd be worried about.

    But as far as "variety of child care providers with no vested relationship..." There was only 2 of us in the Nursery and we loved those kids so much. We cheered and felt proud at their accomplishments, we held them when they needed us, we cried when they hurt. I cried when I had to leave to have Persephone because I loved those kids so much. I went to graduations and checked in on kids I'd watched grow up. I did homework with them and helped them learn to read...

    We have way more of a relationship with those kids than people tend to believe. I just felt the need to be clear there, to help one person understand the bonds that can form between the workers and the kids.
    Mother, Hellenic Pagan Priestess, and Resident Greek name expert ^_^ Call me Dantea or Remy

    Kith nor Kin -- http://kithnorkin.blogspot.com/ Chapter 30 and Epilogue is up. It's done!
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    Proud Mama to:
    Persephone Elysia Willow -- June 5th 2013
    TTC #2 by Christmas 2014

  2. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    344
    Yes, thank you Dantea. Please allow me to clarify. I LOVE all the children in my class at preschool and we are very attached. However, preschools and daycares have very long hours to accommodate for parents varying work schedules. Mine is open from 6 am - 6 pm. So, I'm the first teacher to arrive, then I have a co-teacher who joins me, but I leave first, and then an afternoon teacher comes in. Not to mention, we have an art teacher, a soccer teacher, and music and motion teacher, and a director and assistant director who are always in and out of every class room. We also have regular substitutes so we, the usual teachers, can attend to other things in our lives. What I'm trying to say, is yes, I have a special bond, but it is not the same kind of bond I would have in a one-on-one, every day situation where I was keeping a child at my house or at their house.

    What I was referring to was my own experience with my sister and mother. My sister lives in the same hometown as our parents, so of course, my mom regularly keeps her two children. And, in my opinion, my mother is a fabulous care taker. However, because she is also Grandma, there are times when we all get together, I think she crosses the line from Grandma/care taker into a more motherly role. I think it hurts/bothers my sister, but because she is so grateful for the fabulous and free care our mother provides, she is hesitant to say anything. I am the kind of person that would not do well with that. I have attended special events for many children in my class (outside of school) and even though I have bonded with them, I NEVER feel like I have the right to overstep their actual parents...family members used as child care providers often don't make that distinction. I hope that was a better explanation Vitamom.
    It's Official: Mother of Two, now
    Harold Jonathan, nn
    Hal
    and Kurt Matthew!


  3. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    218
    @dantea, thank you for the daycare perspective. My kids have never been in daycare but my nieces have been in several since infancy (due to moving) and I just don't get that warm fuzzy feeling you describe when I hear about their experiences. My views have been skewed by this. I am sure this varies by setting and even by provider within each setting but if the majority are as caring as you sound, then it sounds like a lovely experience... Fulfilling for both you and the child.

    @frances, sorry if I misunderstood the first time. Your explanation makes a lot of sense. Grandma should be grandma and mommy should be mommy. I can see if grandma is a primary care provider she may feel like she has say over mom and dad even when they are present. I suppose very open lines of communication and being on the same page would be crucial but that's not always easy. I'm relieved that you didn't mean you would not want your child forming a strong bond with grandma... My pregnancy emotions got all up in arms, lol.

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