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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,742
    Okay, I'm probably going to sound very ignorant since I'm not a parent, but if you don't want your child sharing your bed forever, why do you let them share it in the first place? If you start them out in a crib, then surely there's no worry about transitioning them to their own bed because they're already there. If they've never gotten used to sharing a bed with their parents then you wouldn't have to worry about how they'll cope when they have to sleep by themselves.

    I don't mean to offend anybody, I'm just wondering.
    TTC #1

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  2. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    491
    There are a lot of benefits to co sleeping if done safely, such as reduced SIDS risk, preventing post partum depression, etc. it's also much easier for a breastfeeding mother to just feed the baby right there instead of having to get up, move the baby, soothe them back to sleep, etc. considering a bf newborn can eat every 1.5 hour, everyone sleeps A LOT better. Also many babies will sleep through the night in a parent's bed but wake frequently in their crib.
    Lillian Elizabeth 6.16.13

  3. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    1,228
    My DD recently moved to her big girl bed after 3 years in a cot and we tried to make the transition as easy and painless as possible. It coincided with us moving house and us splitting the 3 kids up for the first time since DD left our room, so we took it slow. I'm also expecting a baby in September so wanted her to be able to sleep in her room, without me having to sleep with her or spend a long time settling her.

    At first all 3 kids slept on a mattress on the floor in one room, then DS1 moved into his own room and DD and DS2 shared the mattress. At bedtime I would lie down on the mattress with the kids until they were all asleep and then crept out. If DD cried in the night I would go back and lie on the mattress.

    Then after we bought her new bed, we kept the extra mattress on the floor in case she fell out so I lay down on it until she fell asleep. This lasted for a few nights and then I sat on the floor next to her bed and over a few nights moved down to the end of her bed. Then I moved to a toy box at the end of the bed, then standing at the bedroom door. At first it was until she fell asleep, but then I began to leave the room when she was calm. If she cried and called to me I came back and stood at the door. I wouldn't talk to her, unless to calm her down and didn't give in to her million demands of water, change of jammies, toys, etc.

    Then I stood outside the door with her door open a crack so she could see me. Then I said I was tired and was going to my bed across the hall, but would come back if she needed me. This took a few days of sitting in my room and returning to her door to calm her. Then I said I was going downstairs to tidy up. By then she could settle without me, but would still sometimes call me up.

    it took about a month, but we can now say good night and go downstairs. She stays in her bed and talks to her brother, but if I hear them get out, I go up and put them back to bed and remind them it's quiet time. They usually fall quickly asleep. It helps if they're extra tired when you're doing the sleep training as there is less temptation to mess about at bedtime. We also have a strict routine for bedtime of jammies, meds, teeth, toilet, story, song and kisses which helps.

    We partially co-slept with her until she was just over a year (started in her own cot, but ended up in ours to feed) and did a similar gradual change from our room to sharing a room with her brothers.

    Sorry for the essay, hope it helps.
    Last edited by malk; August 30th, 2013 at 07:08 AM.
    Mum to Mousie, Foo, Bumptious and Pudding.

  4. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    103
    Birdie is the first one of my kids to ever sleep in my bed. My older three were happy sleepers and when they woke or needed to nurse I went to them. Birdie had severe jaundice at birth and was in a plastic box under lights in the hospital and then wrapped in a light blanket attached to machines at home for the first four weeks. Once we were done with that, I couldn't make myself put her down. So, she started sleeping with us and we would move her to the crib when she was asleep and bring her back in our bed several times a night for the past 15 months. I'm tired!!! Recently, we got a toddler bed and put it in the sitting room of our bedroom across from her crib. It takes a while to get her to sleep - I have to sit next to the bed, but I think she has already realized that she sleeps better there. Even if she wakes up in the night, she just sits up and I can tell her to lie down and she does! She doesn't get out of the bed until my husband's alarm goes off at 6 and then she just toddles right over and we cuddle for a while before we start the day. I am AMAZED at this transition and crossing my fingers that it continues to go smoothly. I am not planning to put the new one in our bed - I've missed being in that spot next to my husband and I'm hoping this one likes to sleep. We'll see.

    @sarahmezz - some people decide to co-sleep and it is very deliberate for good reasons. Some people (like me) end up co-sleeping because of circumstances or not feeling strongly against it and then are ready for it to end Some people feel strongly that it is not right for them and never let it start. Lots of things happen this way in parenting - I had very strong feelings about food for my children and they are all adventurous eaters, my SIL would marvel at the things my kids would eat. But she has a need for her house to be orderly and I would marvel at the way her children would put away toys and clean up after themselves, while one of mine was born a bit type A and the other two are walking tornados! Kids are all different and have their strengths and weaknesses, but the parents' hot buttons are usually evident!
    Luckiest woman in the world!

    Mom to Logan Hunter, Savanna Nichole, Avonlea Noel and Arden "Birdie" Mae

    Step-mom to Austin Ray, Haley Caroline, Kelsey Suzanne

    and expecting someone else December 19!

  5. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Des Moines, IA
    Posts
    392
    Quote Originally Posted by sarahmezz View Post
    Okay, I'm probably going to sound very ignorant since I'm not a parent, but if you don't want your child sharing your bed forever, why do you let them share it in the first place?
    @Sarahmezz -

    It's not the same for everyone. I have a friend who very much wanted the family bed. They have slept with their daughter since she was born. When her little brother came along, the 20 month old wasn't ready for her room. So the baby slept in a bassinet at night next to the bed and squeezed in during family naps. It works for them. But the baby is now sleeping in his crib alone overnights while they are trying to move his big sister into her bed.
    I never intended to have a family bed, and given the opportunity, I wouldn't.
    I had a beautiful nursery set up for our son. And he slept in his crib overnights, waking every 2-3 hours to eat and be changed, for what felt like forever. And he napped there when home. We had no issues.
    When Weston was 11 weeks old he got very sick. And he had to be propped up to sleep. So we moved him into our room, and he slept in a car seat that we had waiting for him to grow into. Since he had a hard time breathing, we were up constantly. And since I couldn't have him on the monitor, I never slept. We were exhausted. On weekends, after the 5 or 6 am feeding, he came into our bed to cuddle and play, and then nap 1 began. Eventually he went back to his room on and off as health dictated, but he never slept overnight in our bed.

    We moved when he was 20 months, downsizing from a house to a small apartment. We converted his crib to a day bed. He kept falling out. He hated his room, it was too loud, etc. He kept coming to our bed. It got to the point when we were exhausted again. My husband reverted to his military training, and slept through everything. we'd go to bed with our son, but no one would wake up to move him to his room. We tried decorating his room in new stuff, we moved to a twin bed, and redid the whole room again... he would not sleep or even play in that room.

    We've moved again this past May. He has a nice room. He won't stay in there. He wakes up crying and comes into our room. Now that my pregnancy is even more obvious, he is more attached to me than ever. He doesn't want to sleep alone. We've tried everything.

    I need more room. This weekend, we are moving the desk and spare tv into his room (something I never wanted to do.) But he is insisting that he is going to share a room with the babies when they come, so we're putting a twin bed in their room, just in case. And adding a double to his room for company. I am hoping that the tv will keep him in his bed. It's sad but true. I will try anything to get my bed back.

    these poor new babies will never get cuddle time in our bed. I'm not risking it again.
    Mom to:
    Weston Christopher, July 2008
    Keegan Nathaniel,
    Dec. 12, 2013
    Sebastian Miller,
    Dec. 12, 2013

    Current loves:
    ~ Emerson ~ Eden ~ Rosalind ~ Caroline ~ Matilda ~ Gemma ~

    ~ Landon ~ Kellan ~ Asher ~ Griffin ~ Archer ~ Edison ~ Holden ~ Harrison ~ Elliot ~

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