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Thread: Rough housing

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    227

    Rough housing

    I'm curious what your tolerance is of rough house play. My kids are not rough; we teach them to be gentle and kind and not overly physical with each other. As my four year old is making more friends and playing with her similar ages cousins a lot I'm noticing that we are very much in the minority. Most of the kids (my own nieces and nephews included) are incredibly physical. Wrestling, jumping on each other, colliding into each other out of nowhere, just always engaged in some physical and rough play. Their parents are not phased but it really troubles me. My daughter engages in some of it when she's with them but looks scared and shocked half the time. I'm worried she will get hurt and also concerned what she is learning from it as we teach her so differently than that. I have let her handle most of it on her own because I know when she gets to school she will encounter this anyway but I'm not always sure of the best approach. What I want to do is tell the other kids to knock it off! But, not my kids or my place.

    So, what is your tolerance level for this type of play? Anyone experience their child being the gentle one in a sea of roughness?

  2. #3
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    1,810
    I highly recommend watching this short, 5-minute video on the topic. He keeps it interesting and cites quite a bit of research: The Importance of Roughhousing | Art of Manliness - YouTube.

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    281
    I don't have kids yet as i'm due with my first in a couple of months... Personally though, i see nothing wrong with a bit of rough and tumble play. My brothers and I grew up play fighting and we're very close now. I bowed out of this kind of play of my own accord when I was probably about 10-12 or so as by then they were both bigger and stronger than me so it wasn't fun anymore. Even now my brothers (now aged 31 & 26) will occassionally end up rolling around having a play fight - it's so funny.

    There are times to be gentle as kids, like with animals or books etc, but there's also room for rough play too and i know my husband can't wait till Dominic is old enough to roll around on the floor . It's a balance i hope to teach him as i think there are really valuable life lessons to be learned from both types of play.
    Mummy of One:
    -- Dominic Jameson: 3rd November 2013

    Dom's future brother/s: Bennett, Ciaran, Elijah, Elliott, Emmett, Finnian, Grayson, Harrison, Nathaniel, Quentin
    Dom's future sister/s: Aveline, Aven, Calla, Eleanor, Helena, Iris, Noelle, Rosalie, Sadie, Wren

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    281
    P.S. Alzora - just watched the video you suggested - totally agree with everything he said, that's kinda what i was getting at when i mentioned 'valuable life lessons', but he was much more articulate than me
    Mummy of One:
    -- Dominic Jameson: 3rd November 2013

    Dom's future brother/s: Bennett, Ciaran, Elijah, Elliott, Emmett, Finnian, Grayson, Harrison, Nathaniel, Quentin
    Dom's future sister/s: Aveline, Aven, Calla, Eleanor, Helena, Iris, Noelle, Rosalie, Sadie, Wren

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    227
    @alzora... Thanks for the link. There were some interesting ideas referenced however the whole video was from the point of view of a parent (father actually) rough housing with the child. I think it's adorable when my husband plays around with my kids like that but I'm talking about other children and my children. A parent knows where to set boundaries, these other kids i am referencing are 3-6 years old and don't understand boundaries or consequences of physical rough housing yet.
    So while I can see the possible (though IMO overstated in the clip) positive sides of a parent playing with a child in this manner, I still feel like the physical play I have seen between children crosses a line that I am not comfortable with.

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