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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    384

    Keeping an absent parent present

    My SO is stuck in a terrible contract with no predetermined end date. We were hoping that we could just wait until he found another job, but it's become a problem in what we can provide for Ivan. Ivan and I will be moving in with my parents about 500 miles away and my SO will follow us as soon as he can find a job within commuting distance. We're hoping that it'll happen pretty fast, as the surrounding cities aren't ruled by Unreal and proprietary engines like where we are now, but it could take a very long time. He's in a kind of annoying industry. It really isn't the ideal situation, but it's the best we can do right now and it will actually help us overall.

    My concern is that Ivan will suffer some amount of separation anxiety, or lose his bond with his Daddy. We went up for my Grandmother's 75th Birthday. When I put the phone on speaker phone, he lit up, and when I took it back, he was miserable. I don't even know if it's possible for him to have recognized a voice through a phone, it could just be that he couldn't chew on my phone anymore. It was pretty heartbreaking, and we were only there for four days. I can't imagine him only seeing his Dad maybe once or twice a month.

    Does anyone have any idea how to handle this? How do I help them keep the bond? Should we even worry about phone calls and Skype, or would they just make things worse? Does anyone have any good reference material on this subject?
    Mommy to Mr. Ivan Eli

    Hoping a little too hard for Otis Alfie . Angus Rex . Chester Malcolm . Remy Wolfram . Wren Winter . Fae Sylvana . Thora Violet . Starling Delilah

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    116
    Skype and phonecalls are a great idea. Try to set them on a schedule so he knows when to expect them. Build a bear and he can have a daddy bear when he misses his daddy and hallmark has record able books that can be read at bedtime. Show him a picture but don't force it. When they skype ivan and daddy can play games or sing songs. The itsy bitsy spider, wheels on the bus, etc. I hope this helps

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    645
    I am so sorry! I hope that you can all be together again very soon. My son doesn't seem to understand phone calls yet (he is almost two) but Skype and FaceTime work really well for helping him remember about distant relatives. We also have a family photo book and he can point to them and recognize cousins, aunties and grandparents.

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Adelaide Australia
    Posts
    575
    Skype is awesome!
    Thrilled to be mother to @gnes Ei1ish Madeline and Fe1icity Bridget Be@trice

    If we'd had boys the list was: Godfrey, Seamus, Alexander, Michael, Felix, Peter, Ignatius & Sebastian.

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    South Australia
    Posts
    915
    I have a friend who's husband is in the Navy and they have a 2year old. When he is at sea or training he Skypes his daughter as often as allowed and he has also recorded some of those Hallmark recordable stories for her. Everynight she reads one of the books daddy recorded for her, them mummy reads a book, then they say goodnight to the photo of daddy on her bedside.
    When she was a bit younger the transitioning between him being there and then being aways was hard on her but she has adjusted and is always very happy to see her daddy.

    I have seen books aimed at FIFO families so they could be helpful too
    The 3 Princesses in my life...

    Elizabeth Hope
    Annabelle Cadence
    Madeleine Pearl

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