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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    493

    Family Name Situation--Need Your Input

    My brother and his wife are expecting their first child, a boy, in November. They have decided to call him by my mother's maiden name, which has become an increasingly popular first name. It's similar in style to Grant (used as both a last and first name), although I would say it's more "hip" than Grant right now.

    The problem is that my first cousin had picked out that name for his first child. He and his wife got pregnant several years ago, had decided on the name, and then lost the baby at 20 weeks. They later told me that they would use it again if they ever had the opportunity. They had difficulty conceiving again, however, and went through several rounds of IVF. She did get pregnant again, but they discovered it was a blighted ovum at the first ultrasound. They stopped treatments at that point, and it looked like they were finished trying. However, I recently learned that they're planning to do egg donation this fall.

    My brother has talked to our cousin about using the name, and he claims that he's fine with it. Still, given the circumstances, I think it's inappropriate. My brother and his wife love the name and its family connection, and they're set on using it. They think if they don't use the name, it may be lost forever, since there may not be any more boy babies in the family.

    What is your opinion? What would you do in this situation?

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    South Australia
    Posts
    915
    I think that your brither has a right to use the name. Although people can try, noone has ownership or 'dibs' on a name until they name their child that. It's a tricky situation but as it's a family name it has personal meaning to yiur brother too.
    The 3 Princesses in my life...

    Elizabeth Hope
    Annabelle Cadence
    Madeleine Pearl

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    4,435
    If I'm not mistaken, the children will be second cousins, once removed...not related closely enough to worry much about sharing a name. Also, there's a pretty good chance they'll have a girl, so the issue could become moot.

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    493
    My cousin and his wife won't use the name if my brother and sister-in-law do.

    Under normal circumstances, I think whoever has the baby first gets to use the name. But my cousin and his wife have been through a lot of heartache over the past several years, and the name means a lot to them. My cousin actually used the name for his business ("Grant" + his last name). So it's a much more delicate situation.

    I am personally very opposed to their using the name and have voiced my concerns to my brother, and he has gotten very angry with me over my lack of "support." I fear it will become a divisive issue within our family.

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,405
    Personally, I think your cousin should get "dibs." It seems to me that your brother and his wife would be able to find another name they can agree on. I might be wrong, but it seems like it means a lot more to your cousin.
    ♂ Ellis Christopher / Asher Estlin / Seth Joshua / Gordon Thomas / Russell Joseph ♂
    ♀ Marilyn Kay / Joanna Kathryn / Tessa Diane / Nola Elaine / Christine Ruby ♀

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