View Poll Results: Which would you pick?
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Thread: Which surname would you use?
August 20th, 2013 11:46 AM #16
I have a cousin who has two daughters and they have different last names, one for his and one that's his girlfriend's. The daughter with his girlfriends surname rhymes with the child's middle name (Lynn is the middle name). I agree with @tannaz it should be whichever sounds the best flow-wise, but don't use one surname for one, then use the other for another child. Pick one that you feel comfortable with and flows well with names you and your boyfriend like.
August - Daniel - Erik - Heath - Leo - Ronan
Eve - Fiona - Johanna - Lana - Lena - Sally
August 20th, 2013 12:10 PM #18Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2010
As you said, many times the first surname gets dropped, but I have hyphenated-surnamed friends who've had the second surname get dropped as well. This is usually in conversation (using an example similar to a friend's name: Amanda Binecki-Gennaro is a bit of a mouthful, so I've heard people say or write "Amanda Binecki" when in a hurry.) I don't think there's a real reason other than personal preference to go with Hers-His or His-Hers: people aren't used to encountering two surnames in a name, so they'll have to be corrected no matter whose name is first. It's not malicious and a gentle explanation will stop them.
One of my close friends has a hyphenated surname because she has same-sex parents. She often encounters one name getting dropped because her name is LONG, and regularly signs things "Firstname InitialInitial" instead of putting the full names. It never fits on paperwork and she's always having to explain it. I know that she wants both of her parents represented in her name and wouldn't change it, but it does bring a lot of day-to-day inconvenience to her. If both parents want to help their child avoid that, there's nothing wrong with that decision. I think that's the appeal of the combined surname option that I suggested earlier- both parents are represented and the name fits into the naming system that is familiar to most English-speakers, maximizing representation of both parents and minimizing logistical complication for the child.
August 20th, 2013 12:12 PM #20
I chose the His-Her option (as long as the names flow well together in that order). This option leaves no one out in the cold and both parents surnames are recognized. You could also use one of your surnames in the middle spot as well if you don't like to hyphen the two ln's or think one will be dropped on official forms.All the best,
August 20th, 2013 12:28 PM #22
I would hyphenate in whatever order they sound the best.Emily • Nineteen • United States
♂ | Samuel ◊ Edward ◊ George ◊ Arthur ◊ Ezra ◊ Gideon ◊ James ◊ Alexander
♀ | Jane ◊ Anne ◊ Helen ◊ Caroline ◊ Phoebe ◊ Georgia ◊ Gwen ◊ Sylvie
August 20th, 2013 12:47 PM #24
lol, what would I do if I were in your situation? I'd get married.
Honestly, I think you'll have problems with the surname no matter what you pick if it differs from one or both of you. So I guess the question is, who's more willing or able to deal with the irritation? Who will be taking the kid to the doctor more, to school events, to any place where both your surname and the child's surname is on the record--it should match that person if possible.Olivia/Livia/Livy/Liv : Thessaly/Darah/Bethel : Noelle/Eve
Benedict/Eli: Jude/Zane: Luke/Darius : Levi/Phineas/Calvin