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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    433
    I think that gym care actually sounds perfect! Plan to go at a time when she's well rested and fed, and I think that's a great opportunity for her to interact with other kids!
    Lillian Elizabeth 6.16.13

  2. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Twickenham, London
    Posts
    104
    Quote Originally Posted by dovah View Post
    I don't really have much time for a long response, but I wanted to drop in and try to help a little. Hopefully I can come back later and elaborate, or maybe someone else will be along to give some useful advice.

    I worked in a private child care facility for several years (working with the 2-3 year old groups). Something that I learned during that time is every child is different, and every child approaches the 2s in a different way. Another thing I learned is that every parent/guardian/caregiver/friend/mother-in-law/grandmother has an opinion on how certain situations should be handled, and no matter what you do someone is probably going to tell you that you're doing it wrong.

    So while my opinions might not amount to much, here's my advice:

    Children grow at such an incredible rate during their toddler years. They are constantly learning new skills, and with their increase in knowledge comes their desire to test their boundaries. Toddlers will test you harder than you've ever been tested. What they're looking for is consistency. They are learning how to process complex instructions. A thought process might include something like: "Sure, mom said I shouldn't throw my teddy bear, but she didn't say I couldn't throw my sippy cup" or "Dad hasn't talked to me in a few minutes, but he showed me attention the last time I spilled milk on him."

    I think the best thing you can do is to be consistent, and continue to be firm. Also, in my experience, 2-year-olds thrive on reactions. If you act overly exacerbated, they'll most likely just play into it. It's best to stay calm. At 2 you can usually start to implement a "timeout", if you want. A lot of parents have complained to me that timeouts don't work on their children, and I generally find that it isn't true. Some parents just don't know how to properly execute a timeout. The child needs to be in a quiet place with few distractions. The general rule I use is one minute per year of age for the child. A 2 year old doesn't have the attention span to sit in timeout for 5-10 minutes. It won't work. Not only will they get up, play with toys, run around, etc, but they will also forget why they're in timeout in the first place. That is also why it is important to explain clearly why the child is in timeout in the first place. Be specific. "You need a timeout because you threw your toys. You shouldn't throw things because you could hurt someone" (or something like that). Also (assuming the child can talk) ask the child at the end of the timeout "Why were you in timeout?", and let them tell it back to you in their own words. That way you can see if they really understand.

    Anyway, to sum up: I don't think your child is being a brat. She most surely doesn't see it that way. She's just testing you (and her own new-found talents).
    Have nothing much to add- this is one of the most thorough and well-written responses I've seen!
    Mum to Louis, Hector, Ottilie (Lottie), Martha, and the new and lovely Tobin

  3. #20
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    531
    I love Supernanny's bedtime method too! I've used it before for naps, and it works just as well for that.

    Now I understand better why you're somewhat reluctant to take Rowan to the childcare at the gym, but if you think about it, really the worst that can happen is that your workout gets cut a little short. I agree with leadmythoughts, just make sure she's fed and not tired and hopefully it will be fine. It would definitely be a great place for her to get to interact with other kids.

    Good luck!

  4. #22
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    318
    My DS is almost 2.5 yo and reached a bratty stage at around the same age as ROwan. He was particularly naughyt when he didn't have good sleep, and even now when this happens I try not to give him opportunities to be naughty because I know he isn't in control of himself.

    If she is getting enough sleep and stable schedule, my impression is that she is bored and the stern reaction you think you are giving her when she does something wrong is actually the very reaction she finds entertaining. She doesn't understand it yet. The best thing is to ignore it completely and not react.

    It is hard at that age to keep kids busy without going bored out of your skull. I had a hard time finding a day care I was comfortable with. I would say your best bet is to plan one to two hours per day in which she is more engaged in different types of activities that either involve you or some tiny people she can befriend-such as a local mall playgorund or whatever. And by that I mean, more than what she currently has now, assuming my other suggestions don't pan out for you. Good luck!

    ETA: I don't think time outs are appropriate for all babies this age. I do time outs with DS now but before he was 2 I would oinly use them if he was able to understand them. This means, a sleepy baby is just not going to "get it". Once you start doing time outs you need to be really consisten, and my advice is to pick your battles with one that age.
    Last edited by verminator; August 19th, 2013 at 10:12 PM.

  5. #24
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Santa Clarita, California
    Posts
    620
    Does she like books? There is a series of board books by where one of them is called "Hands are not for Hitting". The books won't solve everything, but at least it distracts them from the annoying behavior for a few minutes.

    Good luck! Those years are really hard and EVERYONE struggles when their child is in that stage.
    Mom to James Daniel (9), William Joseph (8), Elise Marie (7), and Zachary Allan (baby)
    http://letterstoauntkay.blogspot.com/

    Current faves:
    Audrey Kay, Lucy Charlotte, Linnea Julia, Amy Catherine, Adele, Georgia, Kate, Clara, Lindy
    Thomas Orin, Charles, Andrew, Arthur, Samuel, George, Raymond

    DH's "approved" list:
    Lucy, Kate/Katie/Katherine, Audrey
    Thomas ("maybe")

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