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August 18th, 2013 09:38 PM #36
Haha. Funny article.
I'm kinda with her, though. Especially if your partner isn't even contributing to the list of possibilities. I'm really thankful that my husband has similar taste in naming style as I do, although mine may lean a bit quirkier than his. So if I completely fall in love with a name, and he's not 100% sold on it, I could see my pregnant self being like, "Okay, well, last time I checked, I'M the one birthing this child, you don't have an option that I like better, so this is it!"Newlywed and will be TTC soon.
Currently thinking of:
Mattias Graham, Cassian James, Asa Nathaniel, Macsen Henry
Leonora Pearl, Aurelia Sarai, Felicity Susanna, Camellia Mae
September 10th, 2013 10:49 PM #38
When I got pregnant I announced that I was using my last name for the baby. To my surprise he didn't argue, I actually jumped right into defending my choice when I clued in that he was nodding in agreement. Wait, really? He said something along the lines of "The name doesn't matter, it's the least significant aspect of our child. Who our baby is, and how we care for it is the important thing."
I'm glad he feels this way. He's so evolved. I am not, so this is going down as a victory. That also means that I get to pick the child's first and middle names too. The names I like a really uncommon, fairytale meets hippy.
The only name he has contributed thus far is "Identity" He was only half joking, he thinks a succinct way of pointing out how rubbish the convention of using names to label an entire person are. I'm not really considering it as a name, but a teensy part of me likes it for a girl.
Anyways, the point is the name doesn't ultimately matter. But if we're being honest, I have a deep rooted irrational belief that a name shapes a person, and I want people to meet my kid and think wow, how beautiful and rare. Maybe the names we like reflect our wishes for our children - which is sort of sweet. It's not the dad saying he prefers name X to Name Y he's saying I want this for my kid instead of what I think of when I hear the name you pick.
September 11th, 2013 03:25 AM #40Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
I kind of threatened my husband recently that if he didn't want to be more involved with naming this baby I would do it myself and he could just shut up. I was fed up with his "shoot 'em down" method. He was even trying to VETO names that he had told me before (while naming our first) that he liked. I had a list of about 20 names - he took a quick glance and straight out told me he didn't really like any of them, without offering any suggestions of his own. So I told him he had 3 options. He could rate the names from my list on a scale of 1-5, or he could come up with his own list of at least 5 suggestions, OR he could shut up since he obviously doesn't care, and I'd name her myself. I felt bad for threatening him like that but hey I'm a hormonal preggo chasing a 1 year old around all day... Anyway, it worked. He looked through my list the next day & rated a scale of 1-5 and found a few that upon actually considering, he decided he does like. I call that progress.New username is @ truenature
September 11th, 2013 10:48 AM #42Junior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
Haven't read the article, but it's his baby too! Of course he should have an equal say. That said, my husband and I aren't agreeing on a name right now, and I do sort of think that if we're really deadlocked and cannot agree on a name that we both love, I selfishly think my "vote" should count a little more. (But he thinks his should, since it's a boy). But I think bottom line, it's a process both parents should be involved in, as equally as possible.
September 11th, 2013 11:08 AM #44
Funny enough, I'M probably the world's biggest fan of the shoot-em'-down method. I do it to my brothers/friends all the time.
Where do you want to go?
I don't know. Somewhere entertaining.
How about blah blah blah.
No that's boring.
So when it comes to it, I'd probably be entertained by sitting around and tossing out names to see what imaginary babydaddy said. There'd be some weird ones in there to prove he was paying attention, but I understand how it feels to be thrust into a decision making process and having absolutely no context.
If a name hadn't been chosen by the time baby shows up, and he'd done nothing to contribute, I'd probably figure it didn't matter to him and just name the kid myself. A small, selfish part of me hopes for this.I’m just trying to behave as I think a friend should behave. Granted, I haven’t had much practice.
~Elphaba Thropp, Wicked, by Gregory Maguire