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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    11

    Sibling names that are different styles?

    We have a three year old daughter named Railey Marie. Pronunciation rhymes with Bailey or Hailey, not Riley. The name is a shortened version of her name given by her Birth parents...we adopted her from the foster system about a year ago.

    We have recently become aware that we may not be as infertile as we thought, lol, and we are actively TTC. Our first choice name are:

    Girl: Mary-Agnes Gayle (or maybe Gayla) nn Maggie. This is after DH's mom Agnes who died when he was 8, and my dad Gaylon who we were both close to, who died 7 years ago.

    Boy: Asher Joseph, nn AJ. My middle name is Ashley and DH's is Joseph. A little narsacistic but we like it.

    My concern is if we have a girl, Railey is a very unusual name whereas Mary Agnes and even the nn Maggie is very traditional. Maybe they just don't "go". I think if it's a boy Railey and Asher go together a little better. If it matters, we also have a foster son, and if we are able to adopt him (still unsure, it's about 50/50 odds), his name will be either Benjamin Luke or Bennett Luke, nn Ben. We also will adopt again, whether or not we conceive, so no telling what name that kiddo will come with, and changing it depends on age of child and how long they are with us. Are my worries unfounded?

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    2,064
    While it's nice to have a sibset that has names that are similar, there are plenty of people who don't do this for a variety reasons. Certainly the reasons that you have listed, like honoring family members or the birth names of adoptive children, are great and take into account each child's unique nature, including the way they came to your family. I'd continue to celebrate each special child you have and not worry about matching the sibset too much.

    This said, Gayle/Gayla has some similarities with Railey so that could be the tie between the sisters even if Railey and Mary-Agnes aren't too similar. You could use Agnes-Gayle with Aggie as nn if you want something more similar and keeping the honoring intent or even Gayla Marie Agnes.

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    11
    Thank you! We did consider Agnes Gayle, but we live in an area with many Texas A&M Aggie fans, and we are NOT fans, lol. So the nn Aggie is out. We thought with the addition of Mary we could get away with Maggie as a nn, which we love. I like the flow of Agnes Gayle better, but we couldn't think of a good nn we liked. Not fans of Nes or Nessie either.

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    127
    I wouldn't worry about siblings with different style names. While it's nice to have names that mesh well together, it's important to remember that these babies will grow up to be individual independent people who aren't referred to in a set.

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    15,700
    Personally, I like siblings to have names that are different but complementary. The names don't have to be from the same style (some classic names mix well with mythological or Shakespearean names for example) but they shouldn't be so different that it looks like the children were named by different families. Having said that, people's naming styles change over the years. If a couple has children over a twenty year span or if they divorce and remarry and begin another family, the older children's names may not "match" with the "newer" family. I try to keep an open mind and view each case on an individual basis. This is what I think about your situation.

    Your family consists of foster/adopted children and each situation may or may not give you a choice in the naming process.

    Yes, Railey and Mary Agnes are worlds apart but Railey and Maggie are ok together. Railey and Asher are fine too! Bennett is a little better with Railey than Benjamin but again, he'll probably end up being called Ben anyway so I don't see a problem.

    You have names of family significance that mean a lot to you and your husband. Family meaning trumps "sibset name cohesion" every time. If you are blessed with a biological child, ALWAYS choose a name you both LOVE.
    All the best,
    Mischa.

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