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  1. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    104
    Hmmm...well I'm a tad torn, I think each baby deserves a shower, but I didn't want all the attention and certainly didnt want the gifts for baby number two, we don't have that much space! So here's is my experience....

    I was thrown a huge baby shower for my first, Bugsy. We played games and squealed and chatted for hours while eating copious amounts of food and opening an endless supply of presents. I had fun, but I felt a little guilty, why should I be the center of attention, so many women have babies everyday! So with my second pregnancy I decided to do things on my own terms.

    I decided I didn't really need another shower for Jem, we have most of the stuff we needed and anything we didn't have, we had the capacity to buy ourselves, unlike 2 years ago. But then I felt that there are so many photos and memories of Bugsy's baby shower that Jem would be missing out. So, instead of a big party at a friends house, I took everyone out for lunch, around 20 people or so. I asked that in lieu of presents people donate to The Smith Family, it is a charity in Australia that helps disadvantaged children. It was a lovely way to have a celebration without going over the top. Everyone really enjoyed themselves, it was sophisticated and grown-up, unlike my first shower that was all games and blue and pink! So, I guess it's up to the individual, although I loved the way I did it, both babies get memories, just in a less consumer impacted way for the second.

    But really everyone will do what they want in the end, and everyone is completely free to do what suits them, so go ahead and have another baby shower if you please.
    Mama to Bugsy William and Jem Richmond.

  2. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    West Coast, US
    Posts
    165
    I completely disagree with all pp who think showers for second babies are tacky. Every baby deserves to be celebrated, regardless of weather they are born first or fifth. The way in which you celebrate completely depends on what you want and what others are willing to do for you and your family. I've thrown showers for second babies and I am sure I will throw a few more before my friends/family are done having children. It's fun and if people want to be complete killjoys and don't want to participate then that is just fine. We go to a million birthday parties now that my kids are in school (preschool & 1st), and I buy gifts for all of those, I really don't see the difference. Also, if friends/family wanted to come and participate in celebrating my baby(babies), but didn't want to bring a gift for any reason, that is totally fine too. It isn't about the gifts, and I don't see it as a "money-grab" situation. In my opinion, it is just a way of showing your support and love for the mother and baby.

  3. #20
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    1,172
    I totally agree with the thrift store and hand-me-down suggestion. If you have a circle of friends with little kids they probably have all sorts of swings, cradles, strollers, highchairs etc to offer you. The only thing you definitely need to have new is a car seat... Maybe just budget for now & put a little money aside for the necessities that you aren't given, and if your close family ask what you need you can always mention specific things to them.

    Where I live, people usually have the shower before the baby's due, and it is supposed to be a one-time thing. I'm holding to my opinion that showers for subsequent babies are inappropriate unless under very special circumstances. If a friend of mine threw herself one (definitely don't!) I would make sure I 'already had plans' that day.
    If you wait til your baby is born and have a 'Meet Our Baby' for your close friends and family then I say go for it. As long as you don't call it a shower and it is clearly a celebration for the baby and you do NOT register for gifts.
    New username is @ truenature

  4. #22
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    201
    Thank you everyone for your feedback! I would never ever ASK someone to throw me a shower, but if someone offers, I think I will take your advice and allow it, but stipulate that gifts are not expected. I had my first at 18, and so circumstances were very different and to be honest things were so dramatic that we didn't even have the shower until AFTER my son was already three months old. I do think every baby deserves a celebration, however. So if someone offers I will politely accept and just ask that we make sure to make it known that gifts are not expected. I did not want to offend anyone by allowing someone to throw me a second shower... But it seems the majority of you feel it is fine as long as it is a celebration of life rather than a "shower" of baby gear. Thanks for the help ladies!
    *~*Proud Mommy Of Evan Alexzander*~*

    Currently Loving:
    Girls- Alice, Laurel, Hazel, Josephine, Clara, Emmeline, Penelope
    Boys- Dexter, Everett, Levi, Felix, Emmett, Jasper, Rhys, Declan

  5. #24
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    West Michigan
    Posts
    2,266
    Quote Originally Posted by misslindseylou View Post
    I completely disagree with all pp who think showers for second babies are tacky. Every baby deserves to be celebrated, regardless of weather they are born first or fifth. The way in which you celebrate completely depends on what you want and what others are willing to do for you and your family. I've thrown showers for second babies and I am sure I will throw a few more before my friends/family are done having children. It's fun and if people want to be complete killjoys and don't want to participate then that is just fine. We go to a million birthday parties now that my kids are in school (preschool & 1st), and I buy gifts for all of those, I really don't see the difference. Also, if friends/family wanted to come and participate in celebrating my baby(babies), but didn't want to bring a gift for any reason, that is totally fine too. It isn't about the gifts, and I don't see it as a "money-grab" situation. In my opinion, it is just a way of showing your support and love for the mother and baby.
    The thing is, a lot of us see baby showers as being for the mother, to help get her situated with things she might need for her children. They're not meant to be FOR the baby. But, I guess I'm a "killjoy" like that. 8-)
    Current favorites:
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    My Adoption Journey

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