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  1. #6
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Orange County, CA
    Posts
    321
    I have definitely wanted a baby when I was in your situation. However, I am so glad that I waited. I wouldn't have been able to enjoy all that university has to offer (everything from late-night pizza runs with my friends, to countless fascinating lectures/concerts/festivals, to a semester abroad in Paris) with a baby, and schoolwork would have had to take 2nd place. Also, as someone who dated the same man for 10 years before we eventually got around to "tying the knot," I can definitely say that there are unique advantages to marriage that don't exist in (most) dating relationships. I'm not judging anyone who has made different decisions, I'm just saying that waiting until one is out of school and having children within a marriage relationship is so much easier on the individual and on the relationship.

    Also, how does your boyfriend feel about children? If either partner has any hesitation, now is NOT the time to be having children. There is nothing wrong with having hesitation about becoming a parent at this point in your life, but there is something wrong with becoming a parent IN SPITE OF hesitations. That's just not fair to the child, and I think it puts an enormous strain on the relationship as well.

    Also, if this is something you both want to go ahead with, you need to talk to his parents (at least, if not both sets of parents!) to make sure that they are actually open and willing to helping out. Since it seems you feel more comfortable with your boyfriend's parents' support than your mom's, maybe you should come to them first with your questions and concerns. They may be a good resource. I'm sure there are people in your life who you can talk to other than internet strangers! But be prepared for some resistance, and know that it's not necessarily because people are judging you, but because they are concerned for you and want the very best for your and your boyfriend. And, if you are talking with older generations, remember that they have had a lot life experience and are usually pretty wise and perceptive =)
    Last edited by capturedcastle; August 8th, 2013 at 02:21 PM.
    Current favorites: Olive, Louise/Louisa, Magdalene/Madeline, Phillipa, Talitha, Mallory, Blythe, Eliza, Mercy, Talia; Calvin, Charles, Gideon, Abram, Jude, Reuben, George, Reid, Clark, Holden.

  2. #8
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Orange County, CA
    Posts
    321
    Ottilie, my baby is due Feb 10 2014
    Current favorites: Olive, Louise/Louisa, Magdalene/Madeline, Phillipa, Talitha, Mallory, Blythe, Eliza, Mercy, Talia; Calvin, Charles, Gideon, Abram, Jude, Reuben, George, Reid, Clark, Holden.

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    254
    I would absolutely wait. Your quality of life will be so much better if you at least have a high school degree before baby. When I was in high school I thought was mature enough to have a baby, just too broke. Now, five years later, I'm glad I didn't try to have a baby. I have grown and matured so much in the past few years. I've had some experiences I wouldn't have been able to have if I had a child to worry about as well.
    xx - Georgia Lynne - Gwendolen June - Catherine Zinnia - Sally
    xy - Jeffrey Erich - Regan James - Arthur Heron -
    Feather/Fur Mom to Cormoran, Poe, Agatha Penelope, and Allister Horace

  4. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    114
    It is so unbelievably normal to want a baby. You're a girl, after all.
    But you need to consider what having a baby will do to your life.
    You are in high school. There is so much time to have babies, but not so much time to enjoy being young.
    I understand the appeal of having the cuddly little family unit, but to choose to be a teen mom is not a good idea.
    You will have to face so much adversity that you wouldn't have to if you would have waited until you were out of high school or married first.
    Regardless of you as a person, people will probably judge you as immature and irresponsible without ever really knowing about you, and you don't want to set yourself up for failure in life, let alone have people judge/pity your child because of your age.

  5. #14
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Greece
    Posts
    2,829
    thank so much everyone !!

    @capturedcastle the problem is that my BF is truly suportive on the idea .I also agree i need talk with someone even if i decide not to have a baby .

    @ birdies i dddefinitly dont want to miss any experience .

    @ ksilvia the LAST thing i want is to judge/pity my baby beause of my age
    “Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.”~ Edgar Allan Poe .

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