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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Oregon, USA
    Posts
    935

    The TTC Waiting Game

    So, I'm 28, my partner and I have been together for 3 years and married 4 months. He wanted to wait to have kids until after we were married, but now I am back in grad school so we have to wait 6 months or so to start trying. It is driving me up a wall! I have wanted to start having kids since I was 20ish, but I hadn't found the right person to do it with, and now that I have, I have to wait, and to make it worse, I already know of one potential fertility problem.

    Anyway, I was wondering how you all who have been in similar situations have coped and not driven yourself insane. I know I am still relatively young, but so many people have told me "Oh, you better start soon!". It is definitely adding to my anxiety.

    Anyway, any advice would be welcome.
    Baby boy due October 2014! Current tentative name:

    Sequoia Orion

  2. #3
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    3,932
    I'm so there with you. Well except that we aren't married. Next month we will have been together for 4 years and at 28 my biological clock has been ticking for a few years now. SO is refusing to have children or discuss children will after we are married but he doesn't want to get engaged because he's positive I'll plan a 200 person wedding in 3 months and then "force him" to get pregnant the next day. (Can you tell he's not ready for kids yet?).

    I am about to finish my second year of a 3 year grad school program so I can tell you from experience how stressful that can be on a relationship. I know waiting sucks, and there is never the "right time". However, going to grad school can be exhausting esp if you work, being pregnant or having a new born would make it grueling. You want to enjoy the time with your little one. Also, the first year of marriage is often considered to be a big challenge, you don't need to add grad-school and a newborn to that. And in reality six months isn't that long - enjoy all the new stuff you get to experience as a newly wed and student. Some days are harder than others but I promise the time will fly by. (Even if it doesn't feel that way right now).

    Cyber hugs.
    CONSTRUCTION ZONE!!!
    maybe Endora, Dexter, Gideon & Lorelei
    Newlywed (Not TTC...yet)

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Oregon, USA
    Posts
    935
    First, I adore the names in your signature- If I though I could get away with using both Ilyria and Cytheria I totally would!

    I totally feel you. My hubby pretty much thought I was going to do the same thing - so I promised him both a small wedding and that we would wait at least a few months before even thinking about TTC. I will be done with grad school in a year, so waiting 6 months or a few more to start will also mean I will be finished by the time a baby might arrive. And after hearing all the horror stories about fertility issues I am just crossing my fingers that we don't have any problems!
    Baby boy due October 2014! Current tentative name:

    Sequoia Orion

  4. #7
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    3,932
    Thanks. Yeah I defiantly seriously consider names that are too similar and usually don't put both on my top ten. (Currently mulling over Cedric and Hector but they just strike me as to close to Alaric and Victor).

    I tried that with my SO but he just isn't buying it. (smart man. lol.)
    His mom died last summer so he's even more skiddish.
    I'm giving him till November before he gets a serious talking to
    (we will have been dating for 4 1/2 years and living together for 3) also that would leave me with one last grad school semester.

    Don't worry so much about the potential fertility problems now, you have plenty of time to worry about it later if and when it becomes an issue. Remember not to put the cart in front of the horse. (My fingers are crossed for you too and me when the time comes.)
    CONSTRUCTION ZONE!!!
    maybe Endora, Dexter, Gideon & Lorelei
    Newlywed (Not TTC...yet)

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Oregon, USA
    Posts
    935
    LOL. Yeah, trauma like that can make people shy about baby-making for sure! I am crossing my fingers for you also! You're totally right that I shouldn't worry about fertility - after all, my sister barely looks at a man wrong and seems to get pregnant (she was on birth control all 3 times she concieved)! She had to get her tubes tied after the third one just to be sure. So good luck to us and keep me posted on your progress!
    Baby boy due October 2014! Current tentative name:

    Sequoia Orion

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