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  1. #51
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Orange County, CA
    Posts
    321
    I first heard of a "push present" when a friend's husband gave her a ring with diamonds and their son's birthstone. I thought it was a sweet gesture, but was kind of weirded out by how nonchelantly she threw it out there, like everyone knew what one was, and that it was expected. Also I really hate the name "push present." But I do love luxurious gifts to mark special, momentous occasions (almost all the jewelry I own has a story--given from a loved one for a special occasion, or from travels). Especially when one is covered in baby goop and who-knows-what-else (I've not had a baby but I've heard they are messy), I think something beautiful and precious helps to say "You are beautiful and precious to me, even though you have baby poo on your sleeve and haven't showered in 3 days." As for circling items in catalogs and demanding presents, well I guess that is for individual couples to work out. It's not like she's asking other people who are not her husband for expensive jewelry! I'm sure they've got their system worked out. I picked out my engagement/wedding band--my husband wanted to make sure it was something I really liked, since I'm the one who wears it.
    Last edited by capturedcastle; July 23rd, 2013 at 03:05 AM.
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  2. #53
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    613
    Quote Originally Posted by novaberry View Post
    I think asking for any sort of gift is crass, but honestly? I'd be delighted if my fiance surprised me with a gift that was just for novaberry and not novaberry-the-mum.

    One of the things that really scares me about having kids is losing my own identity. I've seen a lot of mothers get so completely wrapped up in their kids that it's like they don't exist as their own person anymore. EVERYTHING is about their children. I don't think it's healthy, and I never want to be like that. So even though I fully expect any future children to be the most important thing in my world, a little something just for me amidst the initial onslaught of baby-this and baby-that would be treasured.

    If that makes me selfish, so be it!
    I feel absolutely the same as you. I found the transition especially hard with my elder daughter. Throughout my pregnancy, there were constant enquiries from friends and family about how I was doing, if there was anything they could do for me, or buy for me, nothing was too much trouble, and so on. I had an extremely difficult labour and delivery and frankly, it knocked me for six. Yet no one cared. It was all about Amelie, and rightly so, our family was besotted. But it was hard when I was in a lot of pain and I was extremely tired, I was inundated with questions about my baby, gifts for my baby, parties to welcome my baby..I just felt like no one cared. Call me a drama queen, I know, its pathetic.

    But nothing cheered me up more than my husband walking in the door a week after her birth with a gift he had thoughtfully picked out for ME, not the new mum me, but the me who loved shopping and handbags and it reminded me a little of who I was before the baby took over my life, the part of me my husband knew better than anyone. The thought meant more to me than the actual gift itself, it really did.

    I think there's nothing wrong with appreciating a present from a loved one to commemorate the new beginnings a baby brings.


    Mama to Amelie Clara (2008) & Daisy Madeline (2013).

    Lucy, Ivy, Maya, Clara Rosabel, Victoria, Alice, Molly, Juliet, Annabel, Sofia.
    Charlie, Arthur, William, Isaac, Noah, Finn, Vincent, Alexander, Zachary, Oscar.





  3. #55
    I feel Push presents are weird cause its like "Shouldnt the baby be the present". If my hubby/fiance/boyfriend got me a present...its not like I would refuse it, but Im not gonna go around demanding one. I mean, if you dont get a necklace what are you gonna do...not push? Get real.

  4. #57
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    167
    Out of all gifts we have come to expect in life, birthday, bridal, graduation, etc, a push gift is one of most deserving. I see nothing wrong that a woman asking. He can choose to give her something. And if he doesn't initiate, she can choose to ask.

    Speaking for myself, I will be asking he cooks and cleans or pays for help, no kidding.

  5. #59
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    2,050
    I agree with taz and others who have mentioned that it's regional. Growing up in the South, it was common for mothers to be given a gift to commemorate the birth of the baby. My mother and grandmother still have theirs and/or gave them to the child when they grew up. (And I know it wasn't called a "push present" in those eras, so perhaps it's the name that people object to). I think it dates back to when fathers weren't present in the delivery room, and they would come in to see the mom and new baby bringing a token of love and appreciation for the mother. It is rude to expect or demand a gift on any occasion, but there is nothing inherently greedy or appalling about a mother receiving a gift upon the birth of her child.

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