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  1. #46
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    116
    I've been trying to figure out how to best word my reply. The two parts that bother me about the op where the friend demanding jewelry and the phrase push present itself. I find some push presents very thoughtful and heartfelt and the idea of a gift to commemorate the birth of a child/adding to a family or something along those lines is beautiful to me. The idea of using a baby as an excuse to get something you want be it jewelry or a bag etc is distasteful to me. So I guess its just two sides of a coin. I mean if your husband presented you with a handmade cradle at babies birth would it still be a push present?

  2. #48
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,962
    Quote Originally Posted by september View Post
    The purpose of a baby shower is help first time parents get stuff that they will need for the new baby like car seats, diapers, bouncy seat, baby monitor, etc. That's a lot different than a piece of jewelry or some other frivolous gift.

    I just find something kind of icky about the whole concept. The spirit of the push present seems to be, "I wrecked my body and you did nothing, so give me jewelry to make it even." Your gift symbolizing the new chapter in your life doesn't bother me, and I wouldn't necessarily call that a "push present."
    I got plenty of cute frivolous stuff at my baby shower. And I appreciated it just as much as the more functional stuff. And I appreciated my push present as well.

    What exactly separates the gimmee gimmee push present from the sweet symbolic gift? Is it the difference between a blingy Tiffany ring or a dainty estate sale pearl pendant? Is it a matter of how you judge the taste level of the couple in question? The price tag?

    I think it's best to sit out trends that you don't want to be a part of, but try not to judge what kind of gifts other people's partners give them. I find it so strange that so many people find this offensive.

  3. #50
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    624
    To me the difference is demanding a gift instead of the father choosing to buy one. I also think a big factor is if it's connected to the life event. Like a piece of jewelry with the baby's birthstone seems sweet to me but a new designer handbag just doesn't feel the same way.
    Mother to: Patrick Werner (3/10) and Mary Claire (06/12)

  4. #52
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    164
    Maybe we should all stop judging each other based on our own personal philosophies and life choices. If a man wants to give a woman an expensive gift and a woman wants to accept that gift, or if a woman asks for a gift and a man wants to give her one on the occasion of the birth of their child, I just don't think it's anybody else's business.
    Last edited by tawnysaurus; July 23rd, 2013 at 02:01 AM.
    human children:
    holden timothy | huckleberry jude
    non-human children:
    penelope | puck | sofia

  5. #54
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    England
    Posts
    187
    I think asking for any sort of gift is crass, but honestly? I'd be delighted if my fiance surprised me with a gift that was just for novaberry and not novaberry-the-mum.

    One of the things that really scares me about having kids is losing my own identity. I've seen a lot of mothers get so completely wrapped up in their kids that it's like they don't exist as their own person anymore. EVERYTHING is about their children. I don't think it's healthy, and I never want to be like that. So even though I fully expect any future children to be the most important thing in my world, a little something just for me amidst the initial onslaught of baby-this and baby-that would be treasured.

    If that makes me selfish, so be it!
    Last edited by novaberry; July 23rd, 2013 at 02:30 AM.
    Girls: Alice, Anna, Astrid, Beatrice, Clara, Elodie, Emily, Evelyn, Hannah, Hermione, Lorna, Phoebe, Sophie, Sylvia
    Boys: Andrew, Arthur, Elliot, Griffin, Hamish, Henry, Leopold, Martin, Peter, Robin, Rupert, Thomas, Tobias, William
    Guilty Pleasures: Athena, Damaris, Digory, Emrys, Ganymede, Hester, Jessamine, Phineas, Myrtle, Nymeria, Nyx

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