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Thread: Would you use the name of an Ex?
July 19th, 2013 09:46 PM #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
The only way it could work for me is if I dated someone let's say Paul and then married someone who's grandfather/father etc. was Paul and my pretend husband wants to theoretically name our baby after him.
I also agree someone you went on a few dates with or had a middle school relationship with it might be okay to use the name.
Still in general I would avoid it. I would hate it if I found out my future husband wanted to name our baby after one of his exs. In general I think avoid the ex.
July 19th, 2013 11:28 PM #18
I'm definitely on the fence about this issue, because I briefly dated a guy with one of my all time favorite names (Connor) and it was an overall just plain bad experience. Luckily my love for the name Conor existed long before the relationship did, so I don't really associate it with him, but it still is definitely a bit odd. Conor is still on all my top ten lists, but I do think when it comes down to it I probably would try to find something I loved more and avoid this option. Luckily three full name combos appear before Conor on my favorites, so I probably would never have to deal with this issue.
I wanted to share my fiance's perspectives though, cause we've actually spoken about this. Whenever I mention the name Conor he pretty much rolls his eyes because I should know by now that he'll never accept the name. I automatically assumed it was because of my ex who he doesn't have very pleasant feelings for. However, he would name a child James in a heartbeat (another ex, who treated me horribly and is definitely not someone I would decide to name after). Come to find out he really doesn't care about using past boyfriends names at all. He knows I have no relationship or thoughts of them, so there would be no association. Some part of me thinks he is biter towards ex-Connor though and that has "ruined" the name for him. Or maybe like other posters have said - the more common names (like James) don't become associated with specific people? I honestly have no idea, but his reaction to the topic is definitely not what I would have expected.
Luckily I'll never have to deal with him wanting to name a daughter after an ex, as his only ex-girlfriend's name is, well, Jessica. :P
Sorry for rambling!
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July 19th, 2013 11:47 PM #20
Nope, never. Too awkward and I would never let it happen if it was the other way around.
July 20th, 2013 12:11 AM #22Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2012
My boyfriend has an ex girlfriend whose name I really like, but I prefer other names more than that so I'd probably never use it (it's currently a common middle name, and it's actually her middle as well, but the name she went by. If it was used I'd probably have it also in the middle).
My friends and I have conflicting opinions on this topic. I was saying how much I liked the name James and she made a face and kind of laughed... It took me a while to remember that James was the name of the senior I dated in my junior year. Not the best namesake at all, but as others have said the name is so popular that I don't think I'd care.
July 20th, 2013 11:58 AM #24
No. Never. And I would never name a child the same thing as my future husband's exes either.
Fortunately I don't like any of my exes' names (Steve, Chris, Sean) so it's not really a big deal. But if for example I had a kid with the guy I'm currently sort-of seeing, the names of all his exes (Victoria, Cassie, Kate, Jessica) would be out no matter what. It's just disrespectful and weird. The only way I think you could get around it is like a PP said, if your ex was named Mike and someone very important to you/your husband was named Michael you could still get away with it. But if your ex was named say Zebulon and he's the only person you know with that name, it would not be cool to name your son Zebulon. JMOunexpectedly expecting #1
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