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View Poll Results: Thoughts on Leashes?

Voters
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  • They're fine

    68 65.38%
  • They're bad or cruel

    18 17.31%
  • No opinion

    18 17.31%
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Results 26 to 30 of 40
  1. #26
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Flyover Territory
    Posts
    1,145
    I used to judge people using harnesses, reins, etc pretty harshly before I was a parent. Let's be honest, we were ALL perfect parents... before we had kids I hate to hear people who are parents still judging the parents of a kid in a harness. Odds are, said judgy parent just doesn't have one of THOSE kids. DD has never tolerated the stroller, so I wore her well into her second year. Now that she's 30 lbs, I can only do that for short periods of time. She is wonderfully adventurous and terribly fast, so if I lived in a city, I wouldn't hesitate to harness her. I wholeheartedly agree that having a discussion with your child about the rules and all of that is incredibly important, so that they learn over time. However, those discussions don't mean a thing to a young toddler with limited language, so I wouldn't trust my parenting over their instincts in this regard.

    On the whole, I see more kids being dragged by a good old-fashioned arm than a harness. :/
    Tara, proud mama to a Honey Badger
    ... and a Badger in Training

  2. #28
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Santa Clarita
    Posts
    908
    "Odds are, said judgy parent just doesn't have one of THOSE kids."

    Hahaha. Maybe I should go through the Flip video clips we took of him when he was a toddler and pick one to post. I was worried about him developmentally for awhile because toddlers of a certain age, when taken to an unconfined space, tend to run only so far away before turning around and looking at mom/dad. Let's just say my oldest is almost nine and I still long for a leash on him every once in a blue moon; he was a sh*tstorm for awhile when he was a toddler. And our middle son was even faster and more daring. Thing 1 and Thing 2, they were. It's (mostly) temporary. Hard to believe, but someday they will actually listen to some of the things you say when they go places with you!

    I'm not saying you're a bad parent if you use a leash with your toddler. I'm saying that maybe it's a necessarily difficult time, as it is totally developmentally appropriate for toddlers to experiment with separating from you.

    Taking the long view for a minute....If your kid never gets lost for a few minutes at the grocery store, how will he/she learn to pay attention to surroundings and that Mom is ultimately human? Conversely, he also learns to trust that you are there for him and anxious for him to be "found", etc. Your heart stops and your blood runs cold and time stands still while it is happening, but this experience is an essential part of his life, IMO. Plus, he gets to talk with you later about what to do (you could tell him, "freeze and stay right where you are" or "find a mommy with a stroller and tell her you don't see your mom"). A stranger kidnapping a child during one of these moments is, fortunately, rare.
    Mom to James Daniel (10) William Joseph (9), Elise Marie (7), and Zachary Allan (1)
    http://letterstoauntkay.blogspot.com/

    TTC #5
    Serena (Seri), Audrey, Rose, Naomi, Diana, Kate, Adele, Georgia, Lucy, Linnea, Clara
    Thomas Christopher, Henry, Orin, Arthur, Samuel

    DH's "approved" list:
    Seri, Naomi, Amy, Diana, Lucy, Kate/Katie/Katherine, Audrey
    Thomas ("maybe")

  3. #30
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,962
    It's interesting that a lot of people seem to view leash-users as lazy parents. When I'm in a lazy mood or just need to get where I'm going, I strap my 1.5 year old into something, be it a stroller, car seat or hiking back pack. The leash, for me, is for exploring and getting outdoor exercise and learning how to properly walk on the street. It keeps me from having to walk many blocks in a crouched position while holding my tiny daughter's hand. I also think it's great that she has that feeling of freedom to explore.
    I agree with the poster who mentioned that a lot of typical baby things- wearing a diaper, being strapped into anything, would be "demeaning" for an adult just as much as a leash!

  4. #32
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    624
    I used one for my son when we went to the Ravens Super Bowl Victory celebration at the stadium. There were over 200,000 people and I had the baby strapped to me in the Ergo carrier and my son was walking. If my husband had been with me we would have brought a second carrier and each carried a child. I couldn't have brought a stroller because it would have been impossible to fit through the crowds or up the steps in the stadium to find seats. I wasn't worried about him being kidnapped or anything since that is rare. But in a crowd that size if he had wandered off he could have been lost for awhile, which would have been a really traumatizing event. I was glad I put one on him because while were waiting for public transportation afterwards the crowd shifted and he got slightly pushed away from me towards the edge of the platform. He was never in any danger or going over the edge but he was fairly close and having the leash helped me not entirely freak out. While I will admit my son isn't the best listener usually I can manage without a leash but in a situation with a huge crowd of people I think it is necessary to help keep them safe. His leash is a cute little monkey backpack with a long tail. He loves to wear it especially when I'm wearing his sister because I've presented it as though he's carrying the monkey. We also brought it for the much less crowded St. Patrick's Day parade but my husband was with me for it so we just put the backpack on him and didn't use the leash.
    Also as far as the whole idea of just hiring a babysitter that really isn't something we can do financially on a regular basis. And for some events it's things your child will enjoy attending. My son loves to attend parades especially the St. Patrick's Day since with his name being Patrick he thinks the parade is all about him.
    Mother to: Patrick Werner (3/10) and Mary Claire (06/12)

  5. #34
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Flyover Territory
    Posts
    1,145
    Quote Originally Posted by mill1020 View Post
    Maybe I should go through the Flip video clips we took of him when he was a toddler and pick one to post.
    Yes, please! Let's start a thread called "Honey Badger Wars"!!

    I totally agree with you on the store type of situations, it really is a developmentally necessary thing. I just think that the appropriate timing for giving that freedom can be very different depending on the child. My daughter is just now (at 21 months) getting to the point where she would actually notice quickly that I was nowhere in sight. A couple of months ago, she would've (okay, HAS) been clear across the store, climbing a shelf and throwing things at strangers within 30 seconds. This wasn't even a situation where I didn't see her slip away - she slipped her sweaty little hand out of mine and was just too fast for me to keep up! She only realized I wasn't with her when she fell and hurt herself and she needed someone to kiss her boo boo. A harness would've never worked for us in this situation, either, as she fought it like crazy the one time I tried it. However, I wouldn't knock another parent if it works for them and allows them to get done what they need to! Hopefully they won't judge me for being the lady with the screaming kid strapped into the shopping cart.

    I really think that most people are using them in situations where their child is at risk of being quickly lost, run over, trampled, etc... I personally don't know anyone who uses it on a daily or even weekly basis. I'm sure that changes in a city living situation, because the risk of being hit by a car is amplified.
    Tara, proud mama to a Honey Badger
    ... and a Badger in Training

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