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Thread: HELP! Hubby is NUTS!
August 1st, 2013 01:49 PM #66Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
I am a mom of three, pregnant with #4. Even with all my experience and the knowledge that I won't have to deal with learning to breastfeed or the kind of tearing/healing down below that I had with #1, I would not in a million years go to Disney World with a 2-week-old. First, the chances that you will deliver early or on time are slim -- there is a good chance you will deliver late unless you are induced, which could increase your odds of a c-section. You could be looking at the baby being a week old or less at the time of the trip. Being a new parent is SO overwhelming -- it's wonderful, too, of course! -- but no one can really prepare you for what it is like. I'm sorry, dear hubby, but I think it is very selfish of you to expect her to go so soon after giving birth. It took me weeks to heal after giving birth to my first. As others have said, I had pretty bad tearing (even though I had an episiotomy) and I could barely sit down for the first couple of weeks after giving birth. I had to sit on a donut cushion all the time. I can't imagine being on a plane with that amount of pain and discomfort. Even if you don't actually go to Disney World, I just don't think you will possibly be ready to travel -- just you personally and your own healing from childbirth -- regardless of how well the baby sleeps/nurses/etc.
I see you are on the west coast, so I'm sure it would be difficult for anyone to come see you before or after Disney World, but with your due date so close to the planned trip, it seems like maybe different plans could have been made if it was THAT important for you to be there (like meeting somewhere closer to your home?). I hope you won't feel pressured into going -- you have so much to think about, plan, and prepare for over the next few months that this is not something you need to be worrying about. I am very sorry that your hubby is making it such an issue and I hope you can come to an agreement that the most important thing is you -- your physical and emotional well-being -- and the baby. Good luck!Mom to Alexander Patrick (11), Madelyn Esther (8), Genevieve Susan (3), and Theodore James (stillborn at 37 weeks on February 3, 2014). Expecting #5 (a girl) in May 2015 -- Penelope Bridget.
Boys: Everett, Sebastian, Augustus, Samuel, Julian, Nicholas, Desmond, Jasper, Ezekiel, Malcolm
Girls: Bridget, Felicity, Elizabeth, Penelope, Leona, Ophelia, Elodie, Callista, Miriam, Delilah
August 1st, 2013 02:53 PM #68Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2012
-I bled heavily for about 4 to 5 weeks after the birth. Heavily as in changing a maxi pad every hour, and even then sometimes staining my clothes. There would be sudden rushes of blood and tissue that sent me rushing to the bathroom. No way I'd want to be on a plane in that situation.
-A lot of women, me included, sweat profusely, postpartum. It's your body's way of getting rid of all the extra water, I suppose. It was uncomfortable, to say the least.
I just want to add-me too for both of these!! The sweating was god-awful, I had to sleep on a towel (which would be soaked) and changed my sheets every day because I mostly sweated at night but sometimes without warning I would start sweating BUCKETS, it was disgusting, if I were sitting on a leather sofa the whole spot where I was would be slimy and wet and I would have to change clothes. (the amount of clothes changing depends on the person, but I couldn't stand to sit around in clothes with baby spit up, soaked my own sweat, or dribbled with breastmilk not to mention the bleeding through the GIANT maxi pads that i had to use, so I changed clothes numerous times a day- even though nothing fit right, it was not glamorous and I would have died to have an audience of people I almost never see).Mama to little Ramona Mae 3/2011 and Sylvie Joy born 11/2013
August 2nd, 2013 06:29 PM #70Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Flyover Territory
^^ Ditto, here. Her story also brought back memories of me having a complete meltdown over my dog stealing my peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I had to run to the bathroom to tend to that lovely postpartum business. Funny now, horrendous then.Tara, proud mama to a Honey Badger
... and a Badger in Training
August 4th, 2013 01:30 PM #72
Hi again, just got back on here after a few days off and saw all the new comments. Thanks for chiming in ladies! Yeah, I'll admit, some of it is a bit scary to read but I know that's the way it is and I'll handle it all as it comes.
@tk - thanks for your thoughts! But I have to refuse to google anything, especially with the word "clot" in it. I'm already a very nervous mama-to-be since I've had a previous miscarriage and a few of my own health issues. But I understand where you're going with that! Also, your peanut butter and jelly story cracked me up. I have a dog who's a total thief so I can imagine that happening and me crying about it. Honestly, I'm already a teary-mess so I'm sure it'll be really bad after birth too. FUN!
@missmolly: a little nerve-wracking to read some of what you wrote but thank you for sharing your experiences anyway. I know that's the reality of giving birth so it's good for me to read it. And I love your grape jelly story, just like tk's peanut butter sandwich. Too funny - and ridiculous - what hormones do to us! My husband is already witnessing this as I started crying last weekend in the middle of Barnes and Noble... for absolutely no explainable reason. Literally nothing. I was tired. Oi vay. But thanks again for sharing your stories, always good to hear real life experiences that are honest. I'm super excited for baby girl to arrive and mildly terrified. The topic of the Disney trip comes up every now and then when hubby is home but I get nervous that it's going to lead to an argument so I usually just brush it aside. His parents are hopefully coming to visit us next week so I'll have to suck it up and bring it up then for sure - I need to just level with his parents and say it is far from likely to happen. And that's that.
The only other thing a few Berries have mentioned that I think I haven't addressed yet: this trip was planned LONG before we got pregnant. His parents are extreme-planners and they've been thinking about their 40th wedding anniversary since before their 39th. That's why so much of the family will be there and why it's such a big deal. So it's actually us who screwed up with the timing - but we weren't about the postpone trying for any trip. But I just wanted to point out that they didn't plan this trip knowing when we were due, they've had their tickets and everything arranged from early 2012 (nope, not kidding). Thanks everyone!Christine
Pregnancy #1: lost to mc, 10/11
Amelia Joelle arrived on 11/28/13 at 7 pounds, 4 ounces of pure beauty. Couldn't be happier to finally be mama!
Baby #2 - another GIRL! - due 8/1/16
August 4th, 2013 03:10 PM #74Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
Oh wow, I totally feel your pain! Not a totally similar situation, but there are some aspects that are...
My husband and I were living in Ohio. We signed a year lease and decided once it was up, we were moving to Florida. We hated the cold, depressing weather and had tons of friends and family moving down there. Well, I got pregnant. My due date was Jan. 28 and our lease was up the end of Feb. Baby girl ended up coming on Feb. 1. It was not a c-section, but she was just shy of 10 lbs (no health problems, just large babies runs in my husband's family). Long story short, the birth of her (sans meds) - I didn't shed a tear and didn't think it was that bad. The recovery - I was crying constantly; I had never been in so much pain in my entire life. Two weeks after her birth, I had to have reconstructive surgery "down there." It was a nightmare. About a week later, we were packing up our house and made the 17+ hour drive down to Florida with a newborn and cat in tow. The doctor said she wasn't thrilled with me doing it but she knew she couldn't stop me. She just stressed that we make frequent stops so I could get out, stretch my legs and walk a little bit to prevent blood clots. The trip ended up not being so bad. Actually, now that she's 2.5, I think traveling with a newborn is the MOST ideal (although I totally get the germ concerns on an airplane). She slept 4 hours straight then would wake up to be changed and fed and then right back to sleep. With an older infant or toddler, you'd have to really entertain them and they'd be whiny and restless.
Banking on a normal delivery and her arrival being fairly "on time," I'd say do it. Just as you said, it's been planned for a while and it's a ton of family coming that he rarely gets to see. You're going to be stressed out, worried and a hormonal mess, but if you can physically do it, just do it. Keep the baby in a wrap (i.e. Moby Wrap) with her facing you and close to your body for the trip. If you need to forego the actual parks and just hang with your little gal in the hotel and taking short strolls around the grounds while everyone else goes to the parks, then do that. I would venture to say 2-3 weeks out from even vaginal birth is too soon to be walking that much (I'm sure your doc would back you up on that).
Good luck!Mama to Nora and Vivienne.
IF there was a third...