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Thread: HELP! Hubby is NUTS!
July 28th, 2013 11:30 PM #61Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Flyover Territory
Google "lemon clot essay". It's graphic (and a bit crude), and is sort of worst case scenario, but any of it could happen. It was written with regards to having your in laws staying with you post partum, but I think it holds even truer for sitting on a plane and then being with your inlaws halfway across the country in a place that is strange to you.Tara, proud mama to a Honey Badger
... and a Badger in Training
July 28th, 2013 11:50 PM #63Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
I know I'm not a mom yet, but I don't think you should go. Your due date is literally a couple of weeks before this and whos to say baby will come on time? It's your first, and a lot of first borns are late from what I have read, right? Obviously it's different for everyone but I hear late babies are common with firsts. You could be taking a 1 week old to Disneyworld- not a fun idea! Plus, she won't have her immunizations if you are planning on immunizing. I feel like even if you sit in the hotel/villa the whole time, you would be more comfortable sitting in your own home with your newborn. Also this is going to be a huge family event. Do you know how many people are going to be touching your baby who has barely any shots yet at that point? I know it would be a fun trip but the timing is bad. I liked someones suggestion of having them stop by you guys before they go down to Florida to see the baby, if that's possible. Like an overnight layover maybe and then they could fly out the next day to FL. I don't know, good luck girl! and Congrats on the baby!Had our Emilia in April 2014
My name is Caroline, BeatrixDaisy is just a name I like!
My favorite names need to be updated LOL
July 29th, 2013 07:51 AM #65
I still think that you should tell him to go ahead and book his plane ticket/hotel room/whatever, and that you will potentially catch a last-minute stand-by flight after the birth once all the unknown variables are known. It's actually kind of a blessing that he's a pilot and that flying stand-by is an option. It means you can very fairly and reasonably say "maybe." No one can expect more of you than that.Daughter born November 2013
Expecting #2 November 2015
July 30th, 2013 11:47 AM #67Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2012
@cvdutch I am on your side- I think it sounds crazy! I am due a few weeks before you and we have already announced that any one on either side of the family interested in seeing us or her (and Ramona) at Christmas is welcome to come visit us. I had a c-section, numerous bfeeding problems (and my first of 3 bouts of mastitis which is exactly like the flu with a super high fever and total misery but on top of that your boob hurts so bad you feel like you may need an amputation) and the onset of pretty serious post-partum depression all around weeks 2-3. Obviously many people have none of these issues but that is what I think of when I envision the first weeks after birth and I am not making any promises to be able to do anything!
One of the hardest things as a first time mom is to learn how to trust your own instincts. I say trust them here! You don't think it is going to work for you, so don't go. You wish it would but you don't think it will. Tell everyone you aren't going. If it turns out it will work and you feel great and baby is doing great and sleeping 5 hour stretches and nursing perfectly and not colicky and gaining weight and everything, buy a last minute ticket (how long is the flight??) and surprise everyone! There are going to be a million times when people don't agree with your parenting decisions so you are going to have to get used to it anyhow.
Also your doctor is crazy! My pediatrician was definitely pro-cocooning and scared me to death about how dangerous a fever is for a baby. This is going to be right in the middle of cold and flu season. The germs are definitely my biggest concern with a newborn this time of year.Mama to Ramona "Mo Mo" (3/2011) and Sylvie "Silly" (11/2013). Expecting #3 after 16 months of trying! 9/2017. Not gonna lie...hoping for a boy
August 1st, 2013 01:16 PM #69
I wouldn't normally be this blunt with a first-time mom, but there's no way I think you should go, and I think your husband has no idea what to expect for you after your baby's birth. This isn't his fault; we are inundated with images of the happy, glowing mother, hair pulled back in a ribbon, holding a rosy-cheeked, sleeping baby wearing an angelic expression. (Don't get me started on people on the internet asking why the Duchess of Cambridge still looked pregnant the day after her son's birth!) Of course, every birth is unique. Yours could be picture perfect, you may recover in record time, breastfeeding could be a euphoric experience, and your baby might sleep for 6 hours at a time. I sincerely hope this is all true, for you, your baby, and your hubby. But....here's what it was like for me (I wish I could tell you to have your hubby read this, and have you skip it):
-my son breastfed every 2 hours for 30-40 minutes at a time, for the first 2 months. This means that he'd wake at, say, midnight, nurse till 12:30 or a little later and take a while to be soothed back to sleep. If I was lucky, I was back in bed, perhaps asleep, by 1 a.m. At 2:00 he'd wake again, and the cycle began again. I didn't sleep for more than about 70 or 80 minutes at a stretch for over 2 months.
-breastfeeding, for months, was excruciatingly painful. By 6 months, we'd both adjusted, and he nursed for 2 years before self-weaning, and I've never regretted a moment. But, at 2-3 weeks, I still sometimes cried while he nursed. I dreaded every session. I felt guilty that I hated it. I was an emotional wreck.
-my clothes didn't fit. Maternity clothes were uncomfortably large; I hadn't 'shrunk' enough to look well in my regular clothes.
-I bled heavily for about 4 to 5 weeks after the birth. Heavily as in changing a maxi pad every hour, and even then sometimes staining my clothes. There would be sudden rushes of blood and tissue that sent me rushing to the bathroom. No way I'd want to be on a plane in that situation.
-I know women who had much worse milk leakage than I did, but there were times when there'd be a sudden release that overwhelmed the pads.
-A lot of women, me included, sweat profusely, postpartum. It's your body's way of getting rid of all the extra water, I suppose. It was uncomfortable, to say the least.
-I had to take stool softeners for a while. I'd had a small tear during the birth and 'business' was painful for number of weeks.
-I craved enormous amounts of food for the first couple of months, and I lost weight eating it. It seemed like all I did was eat and nurse my son. Breastfeeding consumes a lot of calories.
-even if the rest of the experience had been a dream, I was likely to break into tears at what is now, the most laughable, provocations. You can't help it; hormones take over. I remember sobbing because we were out of grape jelly. I didn't want to cry, I didn't think the situation was dire, I knew I was fine without the jelly, I just couldn't help but cry. It's funny now, but it was mortifying then.
The point is, I wasn't fit for company. I was in no condition for long visits with anyone, especially outside my own home. I had to take care of the baby, I could barely take care of me. My sister-in-law visited for a week, and my visit with her consisted mostly of her bringing the baby to me in bed so I could sleep a precious few minutes more, and thanking her for the wonderful meals she cooked.
I hope I haven't been too graphic....but I've always thought it was a shame that the truth takes so many couples by surprise. Good luck to you, and whatever your decision, your baby will be the best thing in your life.....worth every bit of inconvenience.
Last edited by missmolly; August 4th, 2013 at 01:55 PM.Obsessing over names since 1964