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Thread: HELP! Hubby is NUTS!
July 18th, 2013 03:24 PM #31Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
This is a tough one - for both of you, as any scinereo will not be perfect. My suggestion is prepare like you are going, but do not make a decision until the baby is born. I would also suggest that if you do decide to take a 2 week old baby down to Disney - bring reinforcements. Bring your mother, sister, a good friend, who will be able to help you with the baby. Though this is not the ideal situation, you could have your husband go down for a few days (not the whole time period), see his family and then come back home to you and baby. I would say think on it separately. Make sure both you and your husband understand each others sides and come to a conclusion that is best for all THREE of you.
July 18th, 2013 03:31 PM #33Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
Oh no! Sorry to hear about your dilemma. I agree with lots of previous posters, that even under the best of circumstances, you will be in no condition to make the trip. (Or, if you are able to actually fly, you will be spending most of your time in the hotel room or the house where you are staying.) You will probably not have the physical strength to walk for long distances.
My son, Hal was born at the end of October, and we had family pressure to fly and visit over Christmas too. I said no, and hubby agreed, even though we both got a lot of negative feedback. I had a 'good' labor and delivery experience, vaginal delivery with a small tear, and Hal was an EXCELLENT baby. So, I started to feel really guilty about saying no...then I went to a Christmas Extravaganza (a thing they do every year where vendors come from all over to sell their stuff right before Xmas.) It's crowded, you have to park a long way away, lots of walking, and 2 hours into it, I had to go back to the car. I cried because I was so physically exhausted/drained and I simply could not do any more. Then I had to stay and wait for the rest of my shopping party to finish. It was awful and I was so THANKFUL we had gone with our gut instinct and decided not to travel that year. My point is, sometimes you WANT to be ready to do things again, and you just aren't able to.
P.S. I disagree with others who said that your hubby should go it alone. You will be hormonal, probably trying to breast feed, and exhausted. You will want your hubby with you and your precious new baby to celebrate y'alls first Xmas together. He should stay with you. I HATE it for his family, but this is part of the new and exciting world of becoming a parent. Things change, and you have a lot more things to consider when making plans now. Good luck!It's Official: Mother of Two, now
Harold Jonathan, nn Hal
and Kurt Matthew!
July 18th, 2013 05:40 PM #35
Aw, the timing is pretty unfortunate. I'll balance out the perspective by saying that I think the trip is doable (assuming that you have the baby on-time), even if not ideal.
I think Disney is more miserable with, say, toddlers than with babies. Newborns spend most of their time sleeping and can easily be held in a sling/baby-wearer, whereas toddlers get cranky and whiny and have to pushed in a stroller (a nightmare at Disney) or held. Toddlers are much more likely to be grabbing and licking and being exposed to germs than your newborn - you can quarantine them fairly easily by baby-wearing.
That said, you will be very tired, and Disney can be exhausting. If you go, be sure to take lots of nap breaks - baby should offer the perfect excuse to head back to the room for some R&R for a couple of hours twice a day. You probably won't be up for many of the rides (unless you trade off holding the baby), but there are still plenty of other things to enjoy at Disney - food and parades and fireworks and characters.
All that to say, if you deliver on time and are up for the plane trip, I think that you could enjoy spending some limited time with family in the parks and meeting the baby and spend the majority of the time relaxing with baby in the hotel.
Laura & Derek
Adela | Althea | Eleanor | Evangeline
Gabriel | Julian | Miles
July 18th, 2013 10:45 PM #37Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
I hate to be negative or argumentative (and repeat what I already said), but I really think in this type of situation it is best to be up front and decisive. I feel you have more potential to hurt people (your dh, in laws, and even yourself) if you are wishy-washy with a decision or if you decide to "wait until december to make a decision" - that's putting alot of pressure on the decision and you might be emotional and making a snap decision then. You are thinking about it now and you have very real and rational reasons against going. It is very unfortunate timing, but you have to make a decision. I truly think it's for the best if you can all discuss it now so no one is suprised or hurt when December arrives and you announce your decision. If your gut says "no" now, go with that.
(sorry, I just really felt like I had to repeat myself here because I was really suprised by everyone saying tell DH your concerns, but make a decision later. Why put off a decision that you can all make now and very little would change that decision in a few more months??)Wife to one great guy
Mama to six pretty ladies: Scarlett (13), Penelope (10) Alice (4), Fiona (4), Lucille (2) & Coraline (2)
& 4 angels gone before us: Christian (7 wks), Amos (6 wks), Naomi (16.5 wks), & Hosanna (6 wks)
~We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.~
July 19th, 2013 12:28 AM #39
I've never had a baby, but I don't think it would be safe for you to go. There are too many risks (for you and baby) to go on a trip so soon after her birth. If you did decide to go, could you just stay for a couple days and not the whole week? I know it would stink having to leave after a short time, but you are going to be EXHAUSTED.Not expecting, just having fun collecting names!
My name is Erin. I am 24 years old and I have been a proud name nerd since I was 10.
Ladies: Juliet Elaine, Madeleine Audrey, Emilia Noelle, Lydia Caris, Elodie Katherine, Carys Emily, Victoria Elise
Gentlemen: Jonathan Rhys, Wesley Jay, Roman/Rowan Gabriel, Evan Parker, Elliott Jude, Dawson Cole, Jude/Judah Nathaniel, Rhys Nehemiah, Everett Jacob