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Thread: HELP! Hubby is NUTS!
July 18th, 2013 12:13 AM #16
You couldn't pay me enough money to be at Disneyworld (or Disneyland, and I live in L.A.), with a newborn, two weeks after giving birth, around the Christmas holidays (the most INSANE time of year at a Disney theme park), with a large group of people.
It's unfortunate that one of your rare chances to see your husband's relatives will coincide with your daughter's earliest newborn days; if you choose to stay home, hopefully everyone will understand you didn't make the decision lightly. In any case, you have to do what's best for you. Good luckhuman children:
holden timothy | huckleberry jude
penelope | puck | sofia
July 18th, 2013 12:50 AM #18Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
I think you and DH need to sit down and talk through your concerns and decide together that it is just not the right timing for the 3 of you to plan to go. It's sad that you will miss it, but life goes on and you will have other opportunities. Could someone in his family bring a laptop and you guys have a bit of a Skype party one evening while they are all in Disney? Perhaps you could even send gifts to each other to be opened during the party as a fun little bonding exercise. If DH is not interested in going alone, don't push that matter, but stick by your instincts that you aren't going to be "into" it -- trust that gut feeling, I really feel it's the best choice for you guys. I think it's important to make this decision now so everyone is aware of it and does not start with the guilt trips! Also, you and your DH will be able to come to terms with your decision and not feel as if you are missing out on things or making people upset.
Here are a few snippets of my personal experience with similar topics.
-my DH's family has a family reunion each year. one of my SIL's is due next Wednesday with her 2nd... #1 is only 13 months old. My MIL MAJORLY pressured her to commit to coming to the reunion on Saturday 7/27! SIL's first baby was 8 days overdue so she was totally not into this idea because who knows if the baby will be here, be late or anything! MIL continued her guilt trips, but my SIL and BIL persisted and notified everyone early on that they would NOT attend this year. Everyone was able to get comfy with the idea and we made plans to all get together at later date once things settled with their family. The reunion would be a 9 hr car ride by the way, not quite a plane trip or a situation where it's tough to plan something down the line, but I wanted to point out that their assertive communication (and consistency between my SIL and BIL) was what helped smooth things out with the rest of the family.
- We flew from NY to CA when our first was a month old. We were moving there though so we really had no choice in taking such a small infant on a trip. We flew back to the NY area when she was 3 months old and then had a long car trip (to the previously mentioned annual July reunion...) that was more of a nightmare than the plane portion of the trip. being in a car and out of your home is so touch with a newborn. Feeding and changing logistics - bottle warmers, dirty diapers, breast pain/engorgement - it's all possible those first few months with a newborn and I much prefer shorter duration trips, day trips, or closer to home events! One thing I've learned as a mom is KEEP IT SIMPLE! Life is crazy enough, it's ok to take the easy road and stop to enjoy the slow pace of life at times. Having a newborn is a great excuse for this.
-if you don't do so already, Skype is a powerful tool for families living in different areas. We have never lived in the same state as our families. My kids are very close with DH's family though because we Skype with them so often. If you get creative, you can really have a great time. We read stories together sometimes on skype - the grandparents sent care packages and we open them together "live" and we try to have a set, standing time each week that we know is our nana and papa time! the kids love it. Next year, our family will be moving to another country and one of the biggest comforts I have in that is that we will have the ability to "see" our family and friends back home.Wife to one great guy
Mama to six pretty ladies: Scarlett (11), Penelope (9), Alice (3), Fiona (3), and Lucille & Coraline (11 mo.)
& 4 angels gone before us
~We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.~
July 18th, 2013 12:55 AM #20Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
My husband used to work for an airline and the benefits are not what they used to be. Flights are more and more overbooked so the chance of flying standby is less and less. I'll be having my first in August so can't give you advice on that angle but pretty sure you don't want to be sitting in an airport stressing about getting on a plane or not, you probably won't get to sit together and I would think close to the holidays is the worst time to try to use those benefits ( at least what we were told and other friends experienced). And hopefully there won't be any weather too that causes flights to fill up. I think it just one of those trips to decline on and people should understand, since you don't get much say on when the baby actually decides to make their appearance!
July 18th, 2013 01:20 AM #22Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
Talk to your pediatrician! Most pediatricians recommend cocooning your baby for the first 6 weeks, until the baby can get her first shots. We were told not to go to the mall, church, or large family gatherings to protect our newborns. I would especially be wary of people from foreign countries and avoid any place similar to Disneyland. Then you could blame the pediatrician for skipping the family reunion!
July 18th, 2013 01:26 AM #24
Okay, I can sympathize with him wanting to see his family. But there is no way in hell I would get on an airplane, stay in a hotel room, and be in a crowded theme park like Disney with a newborn. Especially since it's your first. The first 3-4 weeks of Rowan's life, I checked on her every 10 seconds. I was a nervous wreck. My honest advice: don't go. You will regret it. You need that time to adjust to parenting and feeding a newborn. Plus, Florida is hot and full of bugs.My cherished daughter, Rowan Jane. ~b. 10/2011~
Sawyer ~ Aven ~ Elowen ~ Sage ~ Eilonwy ~ Eleanor
Morgan ~ Asher ~ ___ ~ ___ ~ Currently trying to fill the blanks...
Trying for #2 in January 2014.