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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Currently on the west side of the U.S.
    Posts
    417

    Angry HELP! Hubby is NUTS!

    Hi Berries, I need help convincing my husband that he is INSANE. You 'berries haven't let me down so far so I'm hoping you'll come through again. :-D

    We are due with our first baby (a girl!) this 12/8. His parents have been planning their 40th wedding anniversary since last year - and they've planned a HUGE party in Florida at Disney World with the entire family coming. His mom and dad and sisters (and their husbands and kids) all live in the Netherlands so we're lucky if we get to see them twice a year - and dear hubby does miss them all a lot. I love and adore all of them too so I totally get that. Also, his mom has 9 sisters and brothers, all with kids, and a number of them are also planning on being there. It's going to be a really fun and amazing experience.

    BUT... it's all scheduled to happen around Dec. 21ish - over Christmas until around the 28thish of this year. If Baby Girl comes on time (which, who knows??), she'll be 2.5-3 weeks old when it's time for us to get on the plane and fly the 4.5 hours to Florida, and then we would be staying for a week with a newborn infant in a hotel room in Disney World. As most of you can probably see, this does not appeal to me at all. I understand people take 2 week old babies on airplanes - but that doesn't mean I want to! She's our first and although I'm going to try hard to not be that over-protective, paranoid, first-time mom this just sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

    None of this is even talking about all the what-if's: what if baby is late/early (preemie?), what if I have a c-section, what if delivery really messes up my back as badly as we're afraid it's going to and I can't walk, etc. etc.. I have tried to talk him out of it but he gets so upset. I'm really not up for fighting right now so I change the subject. Honestly, I even tried emailing with him mom about it and she just seems to think it's all fine and dandy too. So have any of you been thru anything similar to this? What would you do? How would you handle it? I know it's still pretty far off but it's a big deal to me so it's weighing on my shoulders... I guess I worry about letting him (and the rest of the family) down. I've already mentioned maybe he could go alone, and take along lots of pics of baby girl to share, but he doesn't seem interested in being away from the baby (and me) that early.

    Whew, sorry for the book. As always, thanks so much for your thoughts/advice/tips!!! <<hugs>>
    Christine

    Pregnancy #1: lost to mc, 10/11

    Amelia Joelle arrived on 11/28/13 at 7 pounds, 4 ounces of pure beauty. Couldn't be happier to finally be mommy!

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    3,590
    I'd give him the option of going on his own and reserve your right to stay home (but if all goes perfectly, and you and the baby are up to it, agree to go when the time comes).

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,589
    Ooh, that's a tough one. I can see where you're both coming from. I think you're right in that there are so many variables - even if you wanted to go, you can't guarantee it would be a viable option (for example, if you had a c-section, you might not be physically capable of travelling). I think you need to explain this to your husband and let him know there's every chance that going won't even be an option. However, if everything works out well and you feel up to it, maybe you could consider going if it means that much to your husband and his family? I think once you've actually had the baby and he sees how incredibly overwhelming new parenthood is, he may change his mind about going, too. Unfortunately, that's a way off yet! Good luck
    Last edited by sarahmezz; July 17th, 2013 at 09:08 PM.
    First baby due on April 10, 2015

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  4. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    21
    It may become perfectly clear when the time comes. Just try to stay positive and "flexible" now and do what is right when the time comes; and if staying home is "right" then do it. You will know in December. For now focus on this growing baby! (Hubby may completely surprise you when his precious daughter is born and not want to risk traveling with her even!)

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,169
    I think you should give him the option of going alone. It's your first baby, no need to add more stress on top of that! Especially when it's a newborn. You need the time to adjust. He really has no clue what you're up against, once the baby comes, he'll probably change his mind, but not sure if that's too late for you to say you're not going.

    Basically you have to compromise: he goes, you stay home with baby, seems fair enough to me, if he can't handle that, then he shouldn't go imo.

    As for letting the family down, well they shouldn't have planned the trip so close to your due date! So I wouldn't worry about that, plus I'm pretty sure most people would understand not wanting to take a newborn on such a crazy trip.

    Also taking a baby to Disney World would be more stressful than fun imo. You can't ride the rides unless someone is watching baby. It's an infant, not used to crowds, strange noises, would probably cry most of the time. You'll have to take breaks for feeding, changing, etc...

    On a side note, I loathe babies on planes. It's so annoying to hear a baby cry when all you want to do is sleep, especially on long plane flights. I will never take a baby on a plane for that reason.

    Then again, I have no kids, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. It basically comes from the complaints of my friends/family. However, I am positive that if I was in your situation, I would refuse to go, but then again I'd like to hope that my husband knows me well enough that he wouldn't even consider asking me to go.
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