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Thread: Namebullies?

  1. #46
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    164
    I'll reiterate that the original sentiment was that we're all capable of being thoughtful, constructive and civil in the things we say on these boards, and I think that we should be, especially in regards to differences of style and taste.

    About "ridiculous": the issue I have with this word is that it stands in for actual criticism. It reminds me of when I'd be trying to engage a student (I used to teach English) in discussion about a book or something, and all he or she would say (be able to say?) is, "I dunno. It was just dumb." There's nowhere else the discussion can go when that is all a participant has to offer. That's why it's so frustrating to me in a space that's supposed to be about discussion and sharing of ideas.

    In regards to my use of "bullies": As I noted in a previous post, it really bothers me when someone (often a new member, or at least a new forum participant) creates a thread in which she (or he?) asks for feedback about a name that is not one of the Nameberry faves, or that reflects a style that many Berries (myself included) might consider "down-market," and the response to the post is derisive, non-constructive, judgmental, self-righteous and, frankly, reflective of elitist sentiments. I HATE anything that stinks of classism, and I feel an almost visceral anger when I see this kind of bullying/belittling. But in a way, you're right, @scarletrune--maybe it's no more my place to suggest that someone is a "bully" than it is anyone else's to call something "ridiculous."

    However, in the body of my original post, I did something that many in the "ridiculous" camp have failed to do, over and over again--I've given a constructive and thoughtful explanation of what I mean when I use a particular label.

    @poppy528: I don't agree that civil = tepid.
    Last edited by tawnysaurus; July 18th, 2013 at 05:23 PM.
    human children:
    holden timothy | huckleberry jude
    non-human children:
    penelope | puck | sofia

  2. #48
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    4,083
    Quote Originally Posted by valentine View Post
    I prefer to take the "Sorry, but it's just not my style" approach. Everyone has different taste in names, which we should all be thankful for, as it makes the world a bit more interesting, doesn't it? I agree, there's no need to bully. Either give your polite and thoughtful reply, which contributes to the topic -whether you agree or disagree with the name choice- or don't reply at all. Easy.
    I tend to take the "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything" approach.
    I will tell someone I think one of their name choice is bad, but I will only do so if there is also a name on their list that I really like or love.
    MAJOR CONSTRUCTION ZONE
    newlywed!!! (not trying...yet)

  3. #50
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,126
    I have had a comment deleted by Pam and Linda before when I was in my junior member stage (I was rude about some ones already born child's name). Since then even though I can't stand names like Beatrice I try not to respond to threads with names I don't like, simply to avoid being rude. I think sometimes people don't realise that saying something terrible about a name can affect the person. On Behind the Name terrible things were said about my name, I hated it and found nameberry lurked for about a year and have been pretty happy here.
    ☆Isobel★Eloise☆Matilda★Alice☆Eleanor★ Amelia☆ Elena★Mirabel☆ Felicity★Phoebe ☆Eilidh ★Rosalia☆Roisin★Azalea☆Elsa★Arabella☆ Genevieve★Elodie☆Ruby★Charlotte☆
    ★☆★
    ☆Eamon★Tiago☆Cooper★Jack☆Jago★Flynn☆ Archer★Lincoln☆Asher★Alfie☆Taylor★Baxter ☆Finnian★Lawson☆Jasper★Lewis ★Oscar☆Fletcher★Caspian☆Miller★
    babynameobsessed.worpress.com

  4. #52
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    503
    Quote Originally Posted by renrose View Post
    You have over a hundred posts. I doubt anyone would call you a troll. O_o
    A 100 or whatever arbitrary number selected doesn't have to result in name-calling. Just because one post frequently doesn't mean that they give constructive criticism or further the discussion on a higher level. Often and visibility does not parallel significance.
    * 5 easy ways to judge a baby name
    http://nameberry.com/blog/5-easy-way...ge-a-baby-name

    * 21 other baby name rules worth following
    http://nameberry.com/blog/no-dumb-na...orth-following

  5. #54
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    503
    Quote Originally Posted by iamamiam View Post
    There are definitely some trolls but how do we ever really know for sure...I prefer to give the benefit of the doubt. It is most definitely an insult when it is not true. Example: someone can call me a "troll" now because they think I'm arguing when I'm really only trying to contribute to a discussion, and that would be insulting. The "arguments" they start may be viewed as decent discussions to have and not a waste of time in other people's opinions.
    Besides troll, I also am bothered by the "sock puppet" thing or just overall name-calling. Just because you agree with a member who's in the minority doesn't signify that it's a lesser opinion. I prefer to have the discussion be about the name than labeling the person making the comment.
    * 5 easy ways to judge a baby name
    http://nameberry.com/blog/5-easy-way...ge-a-baby-name

    * 21 other baby name rules worth following
    http://nameberry.com/blog/no-dumb-na...orth-following

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