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July 16th, 2013 07:01 PM #6
Thanks for the replies
I want to add that I think it's super important that berries feel free to say they dislike a name (especially if the opinion is at odds with the majority), but that I hope we are all thoughtful about doing so. I think this is totally possible if and when we are all able to look at ourselves and actually try to understand why we like and don't like certain names (e.g. culture, previous experience, negative association).
Just pronouncing a name to be "ridiculous," "trashy," etc. isn't terribly thoughtful, nor does it contribute to real discussion.
Let me give an example: I don't like Margot. I know a lot of other berries adore it, but my first association with the name was the snobby, privileged Margaux character on Punky Brewster. When I'd play Barbies as a kid, I would name the stuck-up, mean girls in my story lines "Margaux." . Also, I grew up working class and brown in America, and knew absolutely no one named Margo/Margaux (not a real common name in Latino circles) so there was no counterpoint to this one experience of the name. For me, this name is (indelibly?) associated with snobbery and classism and general bitchiness. Of course, this is all my own hang up, and one thing I enjoy about this site is that it makes me really look at myself and question, and try to move past such hang ups toward greater openmindedness.
But if I just jumped into a forum thread in which someone had declared a love of the name and brusquely declared, "Margo/Margaux is a snob's name," what would that do? Absent the context of my dislike, how does this contribute meaningfully to a discussion? How does it do anything except make the OP feel as though I were passing judgment on his or her taste?
So, to reiterate--thoughtful disagreement is not only acceptable but invaluable to any worthwhile discussionhuman children:
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July 16th, 2013 07:11 PM #8
I prefer to take the "Sorry, but it's just not my style" approach. Everyone has different taste in names, which we should all be thankful for, as it makes the world a bit more interesting, doesn't it? I agree, there's no need to bully. Either give your polite and thoughtful reply, which contributes to the topic -whether you agree or disagree with the name choice- or don't reply at all. Easy.Sylvie | Ronan | Genevieve | August[formerly nj003]
July 16th, 2013 07:13 PM #10
Well I am just not sure why people feel the need to comment unless they have anything constructive to say, regardless of whether they like the names being discussed or not. No one is forcing you to reply to every thread...
If it's not your style and you have nothing helpful to add (ie: a point of teasing the OP may not have considered) as justification for why you don't like it, then just move on and find a post that talks about names you prefer. Seems easy enough to me. Sometimes I even check threads with names that I Do like in the title, read the responses already mentioned, think "well I have nothing else to offer here" and go about my day. I'm not the type to be rude in most situations, so I just avoid any discussion that doesn't pique my interest. I will say that I also will tend to avoid threads that have already started to become heated. Sorry Berries, I'm not here for your drama.
July 16th, 2013 07:42 PM #12
I think it really depends on the name in topic and the purpose of the thread. If someone is asking for "honest" or in some cases I see "brutally honest" threads, then I see nothing wrong with people saying "It's terrible, I don't like it, don't do it, etc..."
I also think the "No. Just, no. That's ridiculous." can be a justifiable response if the name is something like Princess Peanutbutter or Waffles Nevaeh. However, it probably would be a bit nicer to add an explanation as to why it's ridiculous, although that can be hard just looking at the two names I made up.
Though it's rude, they are opinions and they should be taken with a grain salt. I think, as a poster, one has to realize that they are going to get these remarks and if that bothers them, then they shouldn't post.
So yes, I have to say I'm guilty of this from time to time, however, I do try to always mention that it's just my opinion. I add in key words like "I personally" or "In my opinion..." or just using imo.
July 16th, 2013 07:43 PM #14
And tawnysaurus, even though I dislike sugarcoating, I agree with you about providing context/reasoning and using respect and tact when we disagree about things.
Nameberry gets awfully dramatic sometimes, doesn't it? While it frustrates me to no end, I can understand the temptation to jump in and add one's two cents to something controversial.Gwen: Film student, bookworm, and bad influence.
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