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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    650

    How do you know which name is the right name?

    I am not pregnant yet but we are TTC. Now that we are actively trying instead of just talking about future children I am wondering how you berries chose which name to give your child or children? I love all the names on our boy and girl lists. We only have three for the boys and six for the girls since we are not sure if we want to use double middles. I am fearful we will not know which name to pick and I never want to deal with name regret. I also do not want to go through our future child being nameless for a week because we can not decide on a combo.

    Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
    TTC Baby #1!

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,624
    I don't think there's really an answer to that question! You just have to be as sure as you can be that you've chosen a name both you and your partner adore. I worry a bit about name regret myself, but figure I'm putting a massive amount of thought into my future children's names already, I'm bound to be happy with my choices!
    Audrey - Beatrice - Clara - Daphne - Flora - Jane - Mabel - Susannah

    Arthur - Barnaby - Edward - Frederick - Henry - Rupert - Theodore - Walter

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Western Pennsylvania
    Posts
    1,228
    From experience here are some guidelines to help:

    1. It should hold meaning for you. Whether in it's actual name meaning or it's association to someone/someplace/something you love. This will keep it special always.

    2) You and your partner should both love the name. It's okay to stand up for your favorites but make sure you both have a stake in it. Unless your partner doesn't really care. This happens, and I found out that my husband was pretty near useless in bouncing ideas off of. He was really only interested in having his last name, and the boy name.

    3) I have found that writing out my name choices to be helpful. I wrote it out in it's full form. I wrote the first name with the last name only. I wrote initials. Possible nicknames. I used printed writing, I used cursive writing. To see what looked best to me. Sometimes just seeing the name I loved written out in my own writing gave me a thrill. And that's part of how I knew I was getting somewhere.

    4) Ultimately choose the name you love the most. And even then you may wrestle with name regret, but it may also be fleeting.

    My kids are in my signature and each naming journey was completely different. Aidan's name I had picked out before I was ever pregnant. Ava didn't have a name (she instead had a dozen possibilities that I was so sure was *the one* throughout my pregnancy) until after she was born. Remy was a bittersweet sort of thing, had so much trouble naming him. I wasn't using forums yet and my family absolutely shredded all my ideas. Very angering, very frustrating. In the end I chose his name as it had meaning to me but I told no one until after he was born and the paperwork had been turned in. In the end his name was probably my absolute favorite, I could not have loved my choice more! Mia was pretty easy we only had 2 girl names and we just picked one the day we found out she was a girl. First name was never in doubt ever, but I changed the middle name in the hospital to something that seemed to fit her better. And with Gemma it was the hardest since we knew she was our last. I loved the name Gemma. It was one of those names that popped into your head from nowhere and it's like total "YES!" moment. But unlike Aidan and Mia that I was so sure of I had the added problem of wanting to use every name I loved for this last child. Nothing was ever going to dissipate the need to use all my favorites. Ultimately I stuck with Gemma in the end because I had loved it the longest. After I made it official I completely had moments everyday where I looked at her and wondered if her name fit her. Most of the time that answer was no, and it felt like she was nameless again. I contemplated making a legal change. Slowly though, just like throughout the pregnancy, Gemma Hermione stalked me, knocked me down, and married me all over again. Now I am just as much in love with her name as I was when it was just a beautiful idea on my list. So my last bit of advice is:

    5) Give yourself time and space to love or hate your choice. Hopefully you can do this before your baby is born, but sometimes you just take home a blank name form. Sometimes you find you must change their name legally. Sometimes you'll doubt yourself but come out stronger in your convictions for it. And sometimes it takes you awhile to be comfortable in your choice. I pray that you have one of those moments where the very right name for your child becomes clear for you and puts a smile on your face everytime you speak it, read it or think it!
    Not so done having children after all. We're not ready for TTC quite yet but when we do get pregnant,the husband handed sole naming rights over to his name obsessed wife!

    Bouncing Baby Boy: Tristan Marcel * Ambrose Galahad* Gabriel Beauregard
    Little Lady: Josephine Adele * Lena Josephine* Lorelei Nicole* Fleur Josephine

  4. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    104
    In my experience if saying you child's name makes you smile then I think your on a winner.

    I know with both of my boys our choices weren't confirmed until we had met each of them, Jem wasn't even Jem for the first few weeks. For me knowing that our children's names had meaning and significance was most important. I also recommend writing the names down, yelling them out, ordering a take away coffee in the name of your choice and mentioning it in passing conversations with people (not family or really close friends though, not for me anyway!).

    Don't be afraid to change your mind no matter what others say, if it doesn't feel right then it probably isn't. :

    Honestly, I think the best conformation of a name is just using it in everyday language... (eg."Jem's nappy needs changing", "Why isn't Bugsy asleep" - both things I am thinking right now!) if your happy using your baby's name and just want to say it all the time then you've probably got it right.
    Last edited by goldielocks; July 13th, 2013 at 11:14 AM.
    Mama to Bugsy William and Jem Richmond.

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    650
    @sarahmezz- I completely agree, all the names we have we both love its just nerve racking trying to pick which one to use first. I put a lot of pressure on myself I want to forever love the name and worry about popularity. I went through school never having anyone with the same name as me and I loved it. Plus NB throws me off because names that seem popular on here may not be IRL.

    @gigigibbons- thank you for the suggestions and some info since you have been through the process! All our names have meaning except for two (one on the boys and one on the girls) we just chose them because we like the flow and combo/names itself. I'm trying to approach it by waiting to see what our future bub looks like then name them. So bringing three names to the hospital. Which may be a good or bad thing lol. My bf has played a decent role in choosing names but it is always like pulling teeth to get him to really give an opinion. I definitely like the idea of writing the names down on paper. I have a list on my phone I always look at as well. It's just so hard to choose since we love all of them for different reasons!
    TTC Baby #1!

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