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Thread: The LAST Name

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Southern PA
    Posts
    380

    Question The LAST Name

    I posted this question on facebook & would like some berry feedback as well. Give me your thoughts. Just looking for a good discussion here. I know someone that after 5yrs of marriage has not taken her husband's last name & her husband doesn't understand why she won't take his name. They have 3 kids with one on the way & all the kids have their dad's last name. Here's my facebook post:

    This question is for all the MEN - Do you expect a woman take her husband's last name? Why or why not?

    Now this question is for the LADIES - Did you take your husband's last name? Why or why not?

    Thanks in advance for your comments! :-)

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    1,109
    That sounds exactly like one of my good friends. Her and her husband have been together for 8+ years, have 3 children together and all the kids have his last name but she doesn't. I asked her about it once, and she just said "I like my last name better." I haven't changed my name either but it's because I feel slightly guilty that if I do, I'll be pretty much the last person to have my Father's last name, since he died in 2007. But I do much prefer my husband's last name to mine, that's why we gave it to Rowan. My best friend just got married a few months ago, and took his name because she preferred it to hers.
    My cherished daughter, Rowan Jane. ~b. 10/2011~


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  3. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    302
    I'm not married, but the tradition in my family is to take the husband's name and either hypenate or just move it to a second middle. I'll probably do the same thing if my husband's name isn't outrageous.

    I love the name my parents gave me, I'm an only child and my family is fairly affluent in my area so I don't want to just hand that over because I got married.

    This thread may also get fairly heated based on other threads I've read about the subject.
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  4. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Humboldt, California
    Posts
    289
    If/when I get married, I doubt I'll take my husband's name. I don't like the tradition of taking your father's last name, then taking your husband's. I got my mom's last name, not my dad's, and I'm glad. I really like my last name, despite it being 12 letters and a little intimidating. It's German, and there's a history behind my name I don't want to give up. It also sounds great with my first and middle names.

    In the end, I think it's a personal choice between the couple. I won't dictate how others live, and I hope they'll do the same in return.
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  5. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    589
    Well it's definitely a personal choice. I won't be married for many years, but for me it comes down to how much I like my future husband's last name! The whole patriarchal thing doesn't really bother me that much, but my last name is kind of part of my identity, it is very unusual and only my family in all of Canada has it basically. So I don't think I'll be overjoyed to change it. If my husband's last name was an embarrassing one or didn't sound good at all with my first name, I wouldn't take it. Shallow? perhaps. However, I also don't like to think of the possible difficulties/judgement of having a different last name from my husband/kids.
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