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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2013

    What should I do?

    Warning: This will inevitably become a long, rambly post. Feel free to skip right to the bottom for the actual question.

    Arthur has been my top name for such a long time now. I love that it's classic and vintage, and it honours one of my favourite authors, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle {he wrote the Sherlock Holmes books}. It's very popular here in England {It's in the top 70}, but I love it so much I can get past the popularity issue. However, I struggle to find a girls name that I love, and any time I do find one, it's way too similar to Arthur {for example Adelaide, Anthea, Martha, and Edith - Arthur and Edith share the "th" sound, Anthea and Arthur sound too similar, Adelaide and Arthur both start with A, and I don't like matching initial sib-sets, Martha rhymes with Arthur}. The only other boys name that I love is Jackson, after DeForest Kelley, who played Dr Leonard McCoy in Star Trek: TOS and the first six Star Trek movies {Motion Picture -> Undiscovered Country}. My only issue with Jackson is that it seems very trendy nowadays, and is also very popular, and it doesn't pair well at all with any of the girls names despite the fact that minus the trendiness, it is a pretty classic name.

    So I can either keep Arthur, which I love so, so much, and have a girls list comprised of names that I don't love, and sometimes barely like, because I've looked and looked and I cannot find a single girls name that I love - even the ones that were too similar to Arthur were only "like", I didn't love them like I love Arthur. The only other girl name is Ottilie, but I'm not sure I would use it myself because I don't like how it sounds when I say it. Alternatively, I can abandon Arthur and have Jackson as my top boys name, and have my girls list of the names I really like {Adelaide and Edith being the main ones}, even though I hate how they sound with Jackson {I like sib-sets to be cohesive, I don't want a "trendy" sounding name with very vintage names}.

    There are other names that I like {e.g Caspian, Micah, Julian, Ophelia, Beatrice, Iris}, but I only *like* them, I don't love them and I don't think I would use them. My list has been very sparse in the past few months because of this issue and I really don't know how to resolve it because no matter how hard I look {I've looked at every single Nameberry list, I've trawled the forums asking for suggestions, I've practically stalked other people's listographies in hope of finding something that I like, but I just can't}. I'm being extremely picky, I know that, and I'm probably way overthinking this, but I can't find anything that I love. And I want to love the name like I love Arthur, I don't just want to "settle" {I'll probably have to "settle" when I'm actually having a baby, but for now I'm on my own so it's my feelings that count haha} for something that I barely like.

    It also bothers me that the two boys names mean something {they both honour famous people} while none of the girls names do. I love Shakespeare, and thought about using a Shakespearean name, but I can't see myself using most of them, and a lot are way too out there for me. I just don't have a connection to a name, which I suppose is why I can't find any that I like.

    Also, I'm not asking for your opinion on all the names, because I don't love them - except Arthur - enough to use. Even if you think Arthur and Edith are fine, I don't.

    So my question is kind of what I said in paragraph two. Do I keep Arthur and continue the painstaking search for more girls names, or do I abandon it and have Jackson as my #1 and use the other girls names that don't really go very well with it? Ignore your personal feelings on whether you personally would prefer Arthur or Jackson, please.
    Last edited by sapphires; July 1st, 2013 at 09:30 AM.
    Emilia • Bronwen • Anthea • Piper • Helena
    Artemis • Beatrice • Delilah • Genevieve • Lillian • Matilda • Ophelia • Penelope • Rosamund • Willow
    Stanley • Arthur • Henry • Caspian • Dexter
    Edmund • Forest • Jasper • Julian • Luca • Maxen • Oscar • Sebastian • Thomas • Winston

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    New England
    What about loving Arthur and keep hunting? I understand you aren't pregnant yet so you can keep searching for something you love as much as Arthur. The future father may have girls names that we likes or family names he wants to use.

    I feel your pain, but I say not to worry
    Little Bean arriving September 2014

    Zoe | Noemí Esther
    Lucas Emmanuel | Levi Alexander

    Adele | Adira | Arabella | Aurora | Eliana | Elizabeth | Milena | Susannah | Zara

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Great Lakes
    Quote Originally Posted by dindlee View Post
    What about loving Arthur and keep hunting? I understand you aren't pregnant yet so you can keep searching for something you love as much as Arthur. The future father may have girls names that we likes or family names he wants to use.

    I feel your pain, but I say not to worry

    I wouldn't worry about Arthur and Edith. Yes, both names have the "th" sound but that's not a bad thing. Besides, you could end up with two boys or no boys! Keep it on the list until you have your first child.
    ** The opinions expressed above are not meant to be reflective of Nameberry as a whole but are my opinion and mine alone. **

    Mommy to:
    Henry Nathaniel (3) and Julia Paige (1)

    Current favorites:
    Bennett - Emmett - Felix - Oliver - Owen - Preston - Samuel
    Abigail - Claire - Clara - Hope - Lydia - Maude - Molly

  4. #7
    Join Date
    May 2013
    I would keep Arthur! It's a great name! 1) It's been your favorite for a long time and 2) Jackson is SUPER trendy. Plus, it wouldn't solve your problem because it doesn't go with your girl names in style. Jackson and Martha? That doesn't work IMO. Plus, I just really dislike it.

  5. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    It seems to me that almost all the names you've mentioned (even if you only like them) are classic/vintage, so Jackson sticks out like a sore thumb (Jack would be a lovely match but I'm guessing that's out due to its popularity here). It also sounds like you're not feeling it anyway, if you hate how it sounds with your girl names and hate mismatched sibsets. If I were you, I'd keep on hunting for names to match Arthur and/or hunt for special meanings for the girl names you already like to make them feel more special- authors/characters/artists/actors/scientists anything that has meaning in your life. Any friends or relatives you could honour by putting a twist on their name? A character from a bible story which reflects your life? Names from your heritage- Scottish, Welsh, German... Vulcan?! Shakespeare- any twists on names or names with themes from the plays? Anything -no matter how tenuous- that could add meaning and make them more lovable.

    Personally I really love all the boy names in my lists and could quite easily name 50 sons, but I only like the girl names and find it difficult to love them, so I kind of know how you feel. Sometimes it just takes time- coming across a very inspirational book character or news story or person IRL and suddenly falling hook, line and sinker for their names. Happened to me before And I think Arthur and Edith together are absolutely lovely, as are Arthur and Ottilie! Don't give up hope; I'm sure you'll find something eventually
    William ♠ Thomas ♠ Peter ♠ Henry ~ Rose ♠ Alice ♠ Ivy ♠ Lowenna
    Mowesi ~ Henwyn Kernewek ~ Mebyon

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