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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    141
    Quote Originally Posted by ajh View Post
    Yes, I think it would be very weird. I think it might make the children feel differently about their relationships with both of you. I really can't understand doing this just because you like fns that don't go well with his ln. And if I were the child I would resent having to always explain my family relationships just because of esthetics... A name is more than just a name imo, it is a connection to your family and I think doing this would give them different connections that really could be problematic.
    I have to agree.

  2. #23
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    USA, California
    Posts
    199
    I wouldn't do it.
    My oldest son has his father's surname, so does my youngest (different dads) so both my sons have different surnames than me. It bugs me, but they are too young to understand/care about it. It seems a bit stupid to give your second baby a different surname just because it flows better with the name. In that case, I would either pick the name even though it might sound bad with the surname, choose a different name, or change the whole family's surname.
    Alexis Victoria
    mom to the dragon and lion boys, AKA Drake Zephyr and Skandar Leonidas
    TTC 2014/2015

  3. #25
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    11
    I know a couple people who have done various alternate naming schemes. I proposed several to my ex (alternating btwn our names for genders, having an altogether different name, etc), and he wouldn't go along with any of it, so my eldest has his father's last name. The current one being incubated is a solo project, and will have my last name. It bothers me more than it will them.

  4. #27
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Santa Clarita
    Posts
    1,157
    I think it would be annoying to have to explain why over and over again, e.g., to the people who work at your kids' school. Even if something is none of someone's business, people tend to be curious.

    As far as I remember, you've said in previous posts that you want two kids total, right? Not that the number of children makes a huge difference, but I was one of two kids and something like that would have fanned the flames of sibling rivalry for sure. I would have taken it as yet another piece of evidence that my mom loved/identified with my brother more.

    Plus, please don't be terribly offended by this but it is just kind of a weird thing to do. One of the biggest reasons I am extremely glad to have had a sibling is that there was a sort of lifelong friendship that came from growing up together, and ultimately (to my surprise) I was proud of the public association with my brother. He was super annoying and evil when we were little; once we reached high school and college I was glad he was my brother and close friend.
    Mom to James Daniel (10) William Joseph (9), Elise Marie (7), and Zachary Allan (1)
    http://letterstoauntkay.blogspot.com/

    TTC #5
    Claire, Sally, Adele, Anne, Cecilia, Serena (Seri), Audrey, Rose, Naomi, Maisie, Kate, Rosetta, Lucy, Linnea
    Thomas, Paul, Henry, Miles, Arthur, Samuel, Seth

    DH's "approved" list:
    Alison (Allie), Claire, Seri, Naomi, Amy, Diana, Lucy, Kate/Katie/Katherine, Audrey
    Thomas ("maybe")

  5. #29
    This is currently under negotiation with my partner, we're looking to do a gender split, much like the 'son of/daughter of' system they have in Iceland...

    I think it took him by surprise at first, but when we discussed it further he understood that it is as much a compromise to me that not all my children take my name as it is will be for him (possibly more, after all their contribution to making and delivering a baby (though necessary) is five minutes of fun, it's the women who suffer).

    Kids are smart enough to understand, you just have to explain if they ask. They will know they are siblings. Your family is what you make it, not what you name it.

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