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Thread: Young Moms
June 29th, 2013 01:45 PM #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Midwest, US
I'm not as young as you, but I don't consider myself old, either. I'm 32 and pregnant with baby #2. I had #1 at 28. I can say right now, I wouldn't have been ready younger to have a baby. I've been with my husband since we were 18, so it's not like I hadn't found the right guy, either. I do question making 17 and 18 year-olds (male or female) make the choice of what they're going to do with the rest of their life. I went to school, decided I hated my degree about halfway through and still plugged along. It wasn't until I'd been working 3.5 years that I decided I really couldn't stand it anymore, quit my job, and went back to school. If I'd had a child already, I wouldn't have had that freedom. Then I went and got pregnant while still in grad school. My daughter was 2 when I graduated.
As someone else stated, feminism is allowing women to make choices for themselves. If that choice is being a SAHM, then more power to you.Mom to Sylvia Caron (May '09) and Linus Roman (born 08.21.13)Other favorites:
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June 29th, 2013 01:49 PM #18Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2011
I'm 22 and I wouldn't mind at all if I were pregnant or already had an infant, my boyfriend is completely against it. He wants me to finish school (he's 26 with an MFA) and for us to both have 'real' jobs before marriage and children are even an option. But for me, I've always wanted to be a mom and have a family, so taking a few years off to raise two kids doesn't seem that scary to me! But with him being a planner, I don't think that will ever happen.
I think the 'baby fever' I experience is mostly due to the fact that I want something and he doesn't. Posing another question, when is the time right to have a baby? I'm sure I could ask thousands of you berries and there isn't just one answer! How on earth do I communicate that to my boyfriend? It's one thing to not be ready, which if he's not then that's okay (even if I am). But what gets under my skin is all the excuses he throws at me (the money, the time, daycare...) when is it enough!? I get it, you don't want a child right now (ladies, he doesn't even want a dog right now and we've been living together for almost a year! My parents are taking care of my dog!) What on earth is going on in his mind? We're not married yet, and of course I wouldn't stop taking my birth control pills or anything of that nature just to get my way. I want to have a baby, but I want him to want to have a baby too. Is it possible that not being on the same page about something like this could be detrimental to our relationship?
Am I being crazy right now? (It kind of feels like it...)
Last edited by jaimetanae; June 29th, 2013 at 01:55 PM.Smothering one fur baby, my darling dog Briony Ember
Peregrine, Evander, Kaius, StellanNola, Beatrice, Hazel, Thisbe
June 30th, 2013 02:24 AM #20
June 30th, 2013 04:01 AM #22
I've always known that I wanted a family. And I've always been impatient. The combination has created a nice, succinct life plan for me: Go to college, get married, finish college, have kids. Turn 26. Maybe I'll use the college, maybe I won't. It can't really hurt, either way.
My parents had us in their late twenties/early thirties. We're all basically young adults, all still living at home (I'm about to leave), being expensive and making noise. All they want to do is retire and play scrabble and go on day trips. I want my kids to be out of the house when I want them to be, and not have to wait for them to grow up.I’m just trying to behave as I think a friend should behave. Granted, I haven’t had much practice.
~Elphaba Thropp, Wicked, by Gregory Maguire
June 30th, 2013 12:03 PM #24Junior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
I think that no matter when you chose to have children, there are always going to be pros and cons.. For me personally, I always knew that I would have children, but I wanted to get my degree first. I got unexpectedly pregnant at 19, gave birth to my beautiful daughter at 20, and am now married at 21. The funny thing is that I hear people tell me all the time how much I'm missing out on now that I'm a mom such as parties, but I honestly don't feel like I'm missing out at all! I LOVE being a mom!
I am going to be graduating from college a year later than planned, but I'm still going to end up with the degree that I've always wanted.
Now that I am already a young mom, my husband and I plan on having a second child sooner rather than later. We hope to have our second before our daughter turns 3. I'm sure we will get some negative reactions, but this is what is right for us and our family. I know lots of people who choose to wait until their 30's or later to have children, and I don't think anything badly about them. In my opinion, if you are able to provide a baby with a stable home, clothes, food, and other necessities, then it shouldn't matter what your age is!