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June 25th, 2013 01:25 PM #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
So, I am a big worrier. And as much as i can not wait to have kids of my own, labor and delivery is a big, foggy, scary, shadow in the dark sort of subject for me. My own mother had a horrible story that I grew up hearing about. In the hospital her entire pregnancy, sick as a dog, worst experience of her life sort of thing. I've heard of other women who love being pregnant.
As for labor and delivery, all I think about is women screaming like they're going to die, needles they stick in your spine that are supposed to make things BETTER, a bunch of scary monitors... All in all, it scares my pants off. I grew up in hospitals a lot because of a close family member, and they tend to give me mass anxiety down to this day. However I like the fact that in a hospital setting, it is the safest place to be, with plenty Of trained experts around, and comforts I couldn't have at home (mostly peace of mind that I'm well taken care of.) I think I could handle the pain... I mean, all women can do it. Why couldn't I? It's when I hear about needles and throwing up and god only knows what else... That freaks me out. I'm the kind of person who researches every subject in depth. I want to know what to expect, down to a tee, and it makes me feel like I have more control over the situation, you know? So, what was a breeze for you that you may have been dreading? What was the hardest? What surprised you (good and bad!)? I want to hear it all! I know in the end, even if you're in agony for 9 months and have the worst possible labor and delivery, it is all worth.
June 25th, 2013 06:21 PM #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
I'm going to keep this short and sweet for the simple fact that every pregnancy/labor/delivery is different and can't be 'prepared' for. However, I did attend the pregnancy/childbirth class our hospital offered and I found it very sufficient in calming some of my fears. Rest assured, no matter what you experience, it is sooooo worth it in the end. What I will share are some of the things I found surprising and wished someone had told me about before I experienced them first hand.
The epidural- Not just a tiny bee sting! Sometimes they have to try and search for the right spot and this can be quite shocking. However, much like everything else, so worth it in the end!
Breastfeeding- Really pushed in the hospitals right now (which is a good thing!) But I think they have taken it to the extreme the other way. My son had a medical issue and couldn't latch on right away and I felt really judged and looked down upon until 2 days later, when the lactation consultant finally figured out what was wrong. Some of the nurses made me feel like I was lazy, not trying hard enough, or my boobs were too big.
You won't wear your normal clothes home- Contrary to what it looks like from watching celebrities, you won't recover as quickly as you think. I thought my vagina was permanently broken. It wasn't, it just took longer to heal than the short amount time I had allotted it in my mind.
Overall, it is a wonderful, scary as hell, but magical time in a woman's life. I wish you all the best. When your time comes, you will be much stronger than I think you give yourself credit for.It's Official: Mother of Two, now
Harold Jonathan, nn Hal
and Kurt Matthew!
June 25th, 2013 10:25 PM #5Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
My DS was born 3 weeks early and we never got a chance to attend a birthing class (we were booked in 4 days after he was born). This didn't make much of a difference at all. Your body just knows what to do, I found it amazing that I had no control over the urge to push. I however had a pretty good/fast labour and I'm the type of person that when focussed on something I set my mind on getting it done. I didn't need to scream/shout/cry - I did at times get quite short with the people in the room and impatient with my midwife! Breastfeeding (which I think is an art form in itself) and the second day were the absolute hardest (I would go through labour again to skip the 10days after) I was in so much pain/discomfort due to a tear (that I didn't feel happen at all) and my breasts were so engorged. But like you said it is all worth it in the end! The one thing that comes to mind straight away when I think of the labour is the ABSOLUTE RELIEF I felt once my DS was born. I have never felt relief like that before, it hard to explain, and I doubt I ever will again - until next bub! Good luck, its an amazing thing!First time Mum to Luke Michael.
June 25th, 2013 10:37 PM #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2012
- Adelaide Australia
Try and bear in mind that friends who tend to self dramatization at the best of times really let rip with their birthing tales.
I had two great pregnancies and two c-sections and it was fine, nowhere near as painful as the time I fell down some stairs and broke my toe (seriously, that really hurt). My sister pointed out that no delivery could be as scary as 9 months of horror stories from your hairdresser, the supermarket cashier and everyone else you meet.Thrilled to be mother to @gnes Ei1ish Madeline and Fe1icity Bridget Be@trice
If we'd had boys the list was: Godfrey, Seamus, Alexander, Michael, Felix, Peter, Ignatius & Sebastian.
June 25th, 2013 11:39 PM #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
I had massive anxiety about pregnancy, childbirth & breastfeeding and I opted to only allow myself minimal reading on the subject once I decided to have a child. I was educated enough about the kind of delivery that I wanted (hospital) but I didn't look at pictures or overwhelm myself with info. I didn't make a birth-plan, I just let everything develop naturally. Would I have an epidural? I would wait to feel the pain before I decided. Would I nurse? I would wait to see how I felt, how difficult it was, ect.
Now, having gone through it, I am totally going to try for a second & maybe even a 3rd eventually!
I was not a happy, glowing pregnant lady by any means. I got through it. I had weird symptoms I had never heard of before. Like I was covered in a crazy rash & developed all kinds of allergies. But every pregnancy is different. Who knows, you might be the glowy type! Even at the risk of another itchy 9 months, I want to have baby #2.
After all of that time spent being pregnant childbirth didn't seem that bad. At least I knew it would end fairly quickly with (hopefully) positive results. And I got pretty lucky with the L&D part. I did opt for the epidural and it took a really long time to get to me once I asked for it! I wasn't numb to the point that I wouldnt notice if you stabbed me in the thigh or something, but it helped so so much!
I think it's great that there are so many safe ways to birth these days. Consider a birth center if you want hospital level safety measures but no needles & drugs. Personally, I am all about the needles & (baby-safe) drugs!!
My issue was the lack of control I had through pregnancy & L&D. I totally disassociated during my labor. I just have a lot of issues when it comes to intense & painful things happening to my body! But the main thing was that I had a job to do, the task of pushing a baby out! I also got lucky with a really great nurse who happened to be on duty. My doctor only showed up for the grand finale!
I think some people are empowered by educating themselves & some people (ME) would just be stewing anxiety by looking at diagrams and building expectations.