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  1. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    1,109
    I actually wonder about this all the time. The only family I trust that lives anywhere near us is my Mom and she's about an hour and a half away. If our financials stay the same and we are still working from home, I would imagine my Mom would come to watch Rowan while I was actually in surgery/recovery (I'm a having a planned c-section next time) so my husband could be with me, but I'm not sure if I would let my mom watch her overnight or for any length of time because she is so spacey and forgetful, she worries me. I plan on going to the other local hospital that has an actual nursery so I can be by myself during recovery if necessary. The older Rowan is, the less I will worry about my mom watching her. Right now she's just so young she has to be watched every single minute, when she's 3 or so she will be more independent and less suicidal.
    My cherished daughter, Rowan Jane. ~b. 10/2011~


    Sawyer ~ Aven ~ Elowen ~ Sage ~ Eilonwy ~ Eleanor
    Morgan ~ Asher ~ ___ ~ ___ ~ Currently trying to fill the blanks...


    Trying for #2 in January 2014.

  2. #8
    No kids of my own but I'm the oldest of 4 and can remember all 3 of my sibs births. It was really important to my mom that us older kids get to be there for the birth of the baby. I was 4 when my first brother was born, at home. A friend of my mom's came over to look after me. She stayed with me during the labor and the birth. This way I could be there for my brother's birth yet my mom didn't have to worry about me. I was 7 and my brother was 3 when the next brother was born, at home. My gram came over to keep up with us. We actually went to sleep before the baby was born so she woke us up right before the birth so we could be there. My sister was born in the hospital when I was 11 and the boys were 7&4. We went with my parents to the hospital and one of my mom's friends met us there. She stayed with us in the Ronald MacDoneld playroom there, so the boys could play. When my mom was fully dialated and about ready to push we were called and came to the delivery room so we could see the birth. Looking back I'm really glad I got to learn about birth firsthand and be there for my siblings' births. It worked well for my mom to have a friend or family member there to keep up with us older kids so she and my dad didn't hafta worry about us.
    ~ Elisabeth Odelia "Elsie" ~ Gideon Boone ~
    ~ Adelheid Ruby "Addie Rue" ~ Theodore Solomon "Teddy"~
    ~ Casilda Josephine "Cassie Jo" ~ Zaccheaus Westley "Zeke" ~

  3. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    367
    I'm expecting my next birth to be similar to my first experience (knowing that it might be completely different!) Anyway, last time I was a day past my due date and they brought me in to be induced. My water broke on it's own, I got the epidural, and less than 24 hours later we had Hal. We spent 3 days in the hospital because he was running a fever and they had to give antibiotics before they would release us. We then had to take him to a pediatric dentist to have his frenulum (sp?) loosened (that is the thing that attaches your tongue to the floor of your mouth) so he could latch on to better breast feed. It was a crazy two weeks trying to recover from the birth and getting used to our 'new normal.' Hal does go to preschool, right now, but I'm not sure if he will still be attending when we have the new baby. (Hmmmmm. Something to think about for later.) I'm just afraid that having him with us would be selfish on my part. In my mind, I have this sweet image of him coming to see us in the hospital and it being a beautiful moment I always remember, but the reality might be very different: a screaming toddler who is afraid of what is happening and then sad when he has to leave. (Thanks for pointing out that possibility Ktook76!) IDK, on the other hand, I think it would turn his world upside down to come home from a week at grandma's house and say, "Here Hal-meet your new sibling." It is just soooo hard imagining him being 5 hours away. Thanks for sharing, especially those who pointed out the positives and negatives...very helpful!
    It's Official: Mother of Two, now
    Harold Jonathan, nn
    Hal
    and Kurt Matthew!


  4. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    256
    Hi Frances322.....Just a quick little comment on the pre school thing.....I know others may disagree but this was my experience. My plan is the same for #3. If you can budget for it, keep sending Hal. My two only go a couple of times a week. When I had Harry, knowing Alice was going to preschool 2 days (which she loved I might add!) gave me a chance to breastfeed in peace, catch up on some rest, do all the chores I needed to do knowing my daughter wasn't bored and wanting my attention! I simply explained to her that she was a big girl who goes to school and the baby is "just a baby" and when he gets big like her he will go to school too. Worked a treat! Something to think about

    Oh, and I should also add, my daughter had no problems bonding with her little brother. They are the sweetest with each other (with a bit if healthy sibling rivalry thrown in! ) So don't get too worried about that short time in the hospital, it's when you are home and back to normality that the reality of it all sets in. Get Hal to help with little jobs, praise him about being a good big brother etc. If you are breast feeding, get him sorted before you start - eg sit him beside you, explain what you are doing, give him a book, a snack and get him happy. I was fortunate that my babies were quick feeders but if you're tied up for an hour then you don't want a toddler cruising around getting up to mischief or trying to get your attention when you're feeding!

    This was just my experience! My daughter hates unexpected change. Always has and still does as a nearly 4 year old! So everything was always about keeping things going smoothly and easing her into any predicted change .

    Good luck in TTC #2!
    Mummy to the gorgeous Alice Heather and the delicious Harry George

    Bubba #3 due March 2014! Finalising short list of favourite names!

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    256
    Oh and if possible, could your mum come and stay with you instead? Our house was only minutes from the hospital so even though the visits were often painful, as my mum came with my husband and my daughter she was able to distract her and get her home. Idea for you
    Mummy to the gorgeous Alice Heather and the delicious Harry George

    Bubba #3 due March 2014! Finalising short list of favourite names!

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