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June 24th, 2013 10:28 AM #1
Can I choose a name without my husbands approval?
My husband and I are really struggling with girls names. We don't love or agree on anything. My husband admitted last night he can't imagine naming the baby before he/she is born which is why he was so difficult when we were naming our other children. It's starting to make me feel really down, to the point where I don't even want to get out of bed. I know it's a bit ridiculous but I've cried myself to sleep over it the last 2 nights.
With our first I told him the minute we found out I was pregnant that if it was a girl we were going to name her Elizabeth after my late Grandmother, he loved my Grandma so I knew he wouldn't say no. With our second we had many fights about names, it got to the point that we were politely arguing about names in at the hospital and she wasn't named until 4 hours after birth. We ended up naming her Annabelle which is the name I wanted from the start.
So far this pregnancy my husband has vitoed every name I really like. Most of them because he feels no connection to the name and admits he won't feel a connection until the baby is here. Can I choose a name he at least doesn't hate and make the final decision once baby has arrived? Can I make the choice entirely on my own?
Secondly: My list is not very long but I would like some opinions on how these names would work with sisters names Elizabeth and Annabelle
The names I like that he doesn't hate:
Violet (I'm worried about using this as our niece's name is Charlotte)
Susanna (I keep coming back to this but feel weird using it since we already have Annabelle)
Names I really like that he has vitoed for stupid reasons:
If you read all that, thank you! And sorry for any mistakes, I'm using my iPhone.The 3 Princesses in my life...
June 24th, 2013 10:50 AM #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
I wouldn't recommend choosing something on your own without any input. It is his daughter too, even if he's being less than helpful with the naming. I totally understand - getting my husband to talk names is exhausting and frustrating. Unless he's told you that he doesn't care and it's your pick, though, I would include him.
Perhaps you could start practicing referring to the unborn baby by the name you like most? That might acclimate him to the name or help with th whole feeling a connection thing. Try a couple different names that you like and see if he responds positively to you using any of them. Things like "oh! i just felt Ruthie kick!" or "man, Violet has me craving some strawberry ice cream." You might find that he ends up using one of the names himself!
On Violet - other than the ending sound I don't see much resemblance to Charlotte and I thinks would be totally fine to useMargot - Eleanor (Lena) Ivy - Leonie - Camille/a Clare - Margery Wren
Clark - Gabriel - Simon - Malachy - Locke - Shepherd
Vesper - Zephyr - Andromeda - Bellatrix - Lúthien
June 24th, 2013 10:52 AM #5
I wouldn't make the final decision without him, just because the baby is something you two share. He might feel a little angry and upset with you for doing that. I understand where you are coming from (men are soo frustrating!) with him not being able to come up with a name, but it sounds like he isn't doing this to hurt you, he has a legitimate reason.
You could maybe try and get him more involved with your pregnancy. Decorating the nursery, asking him what you think she will look like. Get your other daughters involved too, so the baby becomes more of a reality. Once he starts viewing the bump as a daughter, he may take more of an interest in naming her.
Or make a small list and brig it to the hospital and he can choose from it. Or let him choose her middle name.
Hope that helps! Good luck!Maddox (Max) James 08.31.13.
Boys Favourites: Holden, Theron (Theo), Aidan, Killian
Girls Favourites: Rosalie, Lucy, Lyra, Isla
June 24th, 2013 11:12 AM #7
I would just go prepared with a few options you know he doesn't hate and then finalize the decision once the baby is born.
I think Violet is the best option of the 3 he doesn't hate. Ruthie is nicknamey compared with Elizabeth and Annabelle and it also sounds much older to me. Susanna is lovely, but I think you're right - not ideal when you already have Annabelle. Violet has a similar ending sound to Charlotte, but they aren't similar in any other way. It's not going to make things confusing at family gatherings or anything, so you have nothing to worry about.
If you go with Violet, you'll probably want to avoid the middle name Harriet because of the alliteration of the ending sound and Tracy because with the t-ending and t-beginning next to each other they kind of blend together. I would pick whichever one has the most significance and/or made the most sense with your other girls' middle names.
June 24th, 2013 11:23 AM #9Senior Member
Sorry for bad English, I am from other country
- Join Date
- Jan 2013