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Thread: Best age gap between siblings
June 24th, 2013 11:10 AM #6
My closest was 19 months (Seb and Bronwen) and my biggest is currently 4 years 2 months (Vio and Wolfie). I see pros and cons with both. I have really liked all the olders being relatively independent (as far as can get dressed alone, put on shoes, buckle into car seats/boosters, pour own drinks etc) as I've had a new baby now. But, I am back in "baby phase" of having diapers to do and probably the hardest is bringing Wolfie to all the "big kid" things they do, not that its hard, persay, but as he gets older and wants to explore his world there are certain activities that will be more difficult to take a baby and toddler to then if I had all "older" kids at the event, kwim? At least when I just had 2 that were under 2, the "fun" things we were doing were all "little kid" activities where as now they are geared towards the older 4 and Wolfie just comes along. For instance, we are going to the library today but will not be doing the baby storytime because of the older 4 and their library needs. However, I do think that being the youngest of 5 has its perks, especially since Bronwen is always more than happy to give him one on one story times and while he may never do certain infant/baby "things" he does have lots of loving hands to hold him and play with him at all times.
I only had a problem once with sibling jealousy, and that was when Vio was a baby and Linus was almost 2 1/2. She was a baby that cried a lot and Linus didn't like that and would get upset when she got upset. Honestly, the other times baby was born and the older kids adjusted just fine.Married to my love since August 2001
My much loved, well thought out, chosen for meaning named crew:
Sebastian Elihu (7/02)
Bronwen Eliza (2/04)
Linus Ezra Graham (9/06)
Violet Leona (1/09)
and one named with help of nameberry, Wolfgang Levi (3/13)!
Always missing our Felix Emmanuel (10/10-10/10)
Pardon any run together words or random letters. I am almost always typing on my droid or nook, with or without autocorrect
June 24th, 2013 11:39 AM #8
Amelie is almost 5 and Daisy is brand new, and so far, its working well. Amelie is at an age where she is independent and can do a lot of things for herself, like getting dressed and brushing her own teeth, etc. She can keep herself entertained while I'm looking after Daisy and is old enough to understand she can't be rough with her.
I'm happy with how this is working thus far but obviously it is early days yet. We won't be having any more children but the idea of two close together makes me break out in a cold sweat, I simply could not do it!
♥Mama to Amelie Clara (2008) & Daisy Madeline (2013).
Lucy, Annabel, Rosalind, Ivy, Alice, Lilia, Rosabel, Victoria, Faye, Anastasia, Molly.
Charlie, Noah, Arthur, William, Dexter, Henry, Luca, Ethan, Samuel, Isaac, Finn.
June 24th, 2013 11:51 AM #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2013
For me personally, I think between 3 and 4 years will be ideal. In my experience (as a preschool teacher; I only have 1 child of my own), the "MINE" stage starts much sooner than age 3. Like, as soon as they're old enough to say the word "mine". Babies are very self-centered and the older they get, the more they come to understand that the world doesn't revolve around them. 3 years old is about when they start becoming a little more independent (they're potty trained, they can feed themselves, etc.) They can also communicate their needs much better and be reasoned with to a certain extent. I loved teaching 3-4 year old preschool! One of my students became a big sister while in my class and it was a really exciting time for her. She loved telling everyone she was going to have a baby sister. I think a 3 year old can understand the concept of a new baby much better than a younger toddler (not that they understand what it entails, how their life will change, etc....but, honestly, neither do you!) My daughter just had her 1st birthday at the beginning of this month, so we're waiting at least another year before we start thinking about TTC again. It took us awhile the first time because I was diagnosed with PCOS, but who knows how long it will take next time.
June 24th, 2013 12:05 PM #12
This is a great topic for me. Baby #1 is 9 months old and we're trying to figure out if we're ready to start TTC or if we should wait a bit longer. We'd love to have 3 kids but I'm 37, and don't want to be pregnant when I'm well into my 40s. (DH said at the beginning of our relationship that he wanted 5 kids, but that's asking way to much at this point!) That means the babies need to be close together, but I don't want to rush things either -for my body or for baby! It's good to read the pros and cons that all you other mamas have listed. Thanks!Mommy to John Alexander & 3 furbabies; Maggie the dog, Rex & Bella the wannabe lions
Current favourites: girls -Eliana [Bronwen, Joy, Claire, Irene], Leora [Irene, Bronwen, Bronwyn], Sarah Elise, Anna Charlotte, Adelaide, Phoebe, Kathryn, Elizabeth, Anastasia, Celeste, Astrid, Beatrix, Lucy
boys: Callum, Arthur [Paul or William], Nathaniel, Samuel, Zachary, Elijah
June 24th, 2013 03:18 PM #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2013
I'm 4 years apart from my brother, and I don't think it was entirely the age gap, but we hated each other as children. It went far beyond normal sibling rivalry, but IME, other siblings that are 4 years apart aren't that close either.
I'd like to have my children close in age, but it's unlikely we'd be ready for a second child any time within the next 2 years. So I'll probably wait until Lillian is 5 or 6 before adding another. I'm also really interested in fostering or adopting older children, so maybe one day she will have a sibling close in age to her...but it won't be as a baby or toddler.Lillian Elizabeth 6.16.13