Results 21 to 25 of 28
June 24th, 2013 07:51 PM #21
Happy to help. I'm glad you had a great operative experience and more importantly a mutually respectful, constructive relationship with your OB. If you think of any specific questions and you think I could help answer them, feel free.XY: Antoine Raphael (3.1.2012)
XX: Cassia Viviane Noor (11.30.2013)
June 24th, 2013 08:12 PM #23Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
- SD, CA
It looks like you have a bit of time to do the research in your area to seek out your best birth options. It's great that you already have an idea of what you are looking for so you can take your time finding your best pregnancy healthcare team possible. I feel like we may have similar philosophies on child birth so I just wanted to share my experiences so far. It's a little bit long, but I do have a point to express, I promise.
I am part of a community that supports natural labor. I am moderately well-educated in the home birth model of delivery. My closest girlfriend spent 4 years training as a home birth midwife. A large number of my friends have had or planned on having home births. I work professionally with home birth midwives and doulas. My community is very much about empowering women and mothers throughout pregnancy and childbirth. Many of us feel that despite all of the best intentions of hospitals and OB's, the power can be systematically stripped away from women throughout the entirety of the journey. Instead of acknowledging and supporting the power of a pregnant women, the medical system tends to instill fear. Before I was pregnant, I had always assumed that I would have a water birth at home.
Fast-forward to about 9 months ago. When I found out that I was pregnant, I wanted to begin receiving medical care as soon as possible. I was referred to an OB by my best girlfriend (the trained home birth midwife). I began my prenatal care with him and planned on transferring care over to a midwife down the line. I found my OB to be caring, attentive, thorough, kind, incredibly positive, and very respectful of my position on child birth. About 20 weeks into my pregnancy, despite my love for my doctor, I chose to change my care over to a birthing center run by 5 certified nurse midwives. My reason was simply that I absolutely did NOT want a hospital birth, and I wanted to give birth to my child in the water. However, my experience at the birth center was awful, unprofessional, impersonal, disorganized, traumatic, and simply unpleasant. I kept telling myself, I just want to use the facility to birth my baby, I just want to use their birthing tubs. I convinced myself for 2 months that I could deal with their subpar care. There were a few instances where I felt very, very judged by the midwives as well, but I am not going to go into that right now.
Anyway, my best friend URGED me to return to my OB (even though she is a huge proponent of home and birth center births). I asked my OB to take me back around 30 weeks. Because I was healthy and had no complications, he was more than happy to have me back. It was so strange to me, but the only person in my healthcare team to make me feel empowered during the entire pregnancy was my male OB. The female midwives made me feel fearful, judged, and completely unsupported. It is exactly the OPPOSITE of what I had anticipated.
So, now I will be delivering in a hospital. My hospital has tubs for laboring, but I have to deliver out of the water. We'll have a private room, I can labor in whatever positions I want, I can eat, I can have any number of family and friends in the room, and I will be doing hypnobirthing. I have my wishes spelled out pretty clearly. My baby will be put directly on me as long as he/she is healthy. We are automatically given 2 hours of skin to skin contact and I can direct the staff that I want more, if I chose. My OB will do delayed cord clamping. My baby will never, ever leave my room (again as long as baby is healthy). I can opt out of any medical procedures to my baby. My OB is giving me the choice to create the birth that I hope to have.
So, we'll see how it goes....I liked what jemama said though, "Sign up for a hospital birth, get the hospital ride". I do still have anxiety about delivering in a hospital, but I weighed all of my options, and I chose the best one for me and my baby.
Here is the main point to my incredibly long and rambling post: Not all midwives are fantastic and empowering and respectful of the pregnancy process. Not all OB's are cold, uncaring and anti-natural labor. I think blade did a great job describing that point. But, because I am not a doctor, I don't have the same trust in the medical system, and I do think a lot of the fears women have pertaining to child birth have some very valid origins. We've all heard the horror stories, and not just from documentaries, but from friends, and family, and neighbors.
My advice is to find someone to manage your care that you trust and who respects you and your individual wishes. There are all types of CNM's and OB's with all kinds of philosophies. Ask around and find someone who will honor your process and your vision of pregnancy and birth. Keep an open mind because it may not look like how you think it will look. Make informed decisions and be clear about what you want.
I wanted to share, because I really love, love my doctor, and my pregnancy wouldn't have been the same without his support and care. And I am even willing to deliver in a hospital to remain in his care.Mama to
Desmond Sanders, born 7/2013
and dog son, Lambeau
June 24th, 2013 11:15 PM #25
Thanks sdsurferma! I really enjoyed reading your post. Someone else mentioned a negative experience they had with a midwife, so you are right. Disrespect can happen anywhere! I'm so glad you found a great doctor and it sounds like you will have a great birth experience. I hope you can let us know how it went, after the the fact!
Thanks again for your input. I completely related to everything you said, and its nice to know I'm not alone!Raphael David
~Expecting our little cabbage February 2014~
June 30th, 2013 03:41 PM #27Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Midwest, US
I didn't read all the responses, so forgive me if this has been stated. Empower yourself with knowledge! Take a Bradley or Informed Beginnings class. Read, read, read. My favorite book about birth options is The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer. Hire a doula!!!!!! I cannot emphasize that enough.
I am a chiropractor and my practice focuses on natural fertility, pregnancy, and birth. It's a passion of mine. I have connections all over the country, so PM me if you want help finding a doula or provider.Mom to Sylvia Caron (May '09) and Linus Roman (born 08.21.13)Other favorites:
Ladies: Fiala Joan · Alma · Miriam · Claudia · Tabitha · Helena · Linnea · Vivian
Gents: Felix Simon · Arthur · Malcolm · Desmond · Theodore · Jasper · Dexter · Phillip
Guilty Pleasures: Lyric · Echo · Hero · Juno/Juniper · Lark · Wren · Fox · Zephyr · Vesper · Loki
July 2nd, 2013 05:06 PM #29Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
Nthing what blade and some others have said. BoBB is a very one-sided doc (also, do some research on the main midwife profiled in it... you'll find out some interesting things about her record.) Both midwives and OBs can rub you the wrong way, depending on their personality.
That being said, often the set up at your individual hospital and the demographics they serve will dictate a lot of their practice. For example, a high-risk OB is going to have a higher CS rate than a GP who also delivers babies (because they'll have transferred out any high-risk patients.) Similarly, a hospital with a level 3 NICU (not sure of the American equivalent), will have a higher CS/ "intervention" rate for the same reasons. I had a CS at a women's hospital which does over 7000 births a year, and did immediate skin to skin and was never separated from my baby, however, my cousin works as an OB nurse in a smaller general hospital. There I would have been separated because their ORs are on a different floor, and the surgical recovery nurses don't "do" babies or have any training in lactation, so they aren't set up for it. They also see a ton of unmedicated vaginal births (even my friend who recently graduated med school saw about 50 in 2 weeks - this was just during his stint in OBGYN, which he isn't specializing in.)