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Thread: Adoption questions?
April 16th, 2013 09:40 AM #1
If you adopted a child, would you ever consider changing their first name? Just curious because I have seen people mention that they've done so when adopting from overseas. However, others think its cruel, like they are losing their heritage. But as Berries would you consider it if the child was quite young and their name didn't go with your existing children's names?
Some adoptions allow you to pick the age, gender, eye and hair colour of the child you are adopting. If you were completing a referral document would you fill out all these categories or do you think you would feel a bit weird about doing it? Like you were "pre-ordering a child," as some people put it.
By the way, this questions are merely an interest in general opinion, as I hope to adopt at least one child from Europe in the distant future. These are the main questions I hear being asked around adoption message boards and I was curious what you, Berries, thought!
'Jess' Jessica Emily Faith
Living down under...
Elsa: Mystical, magical, completely unique, baffling and all her own
Ronan: Spicy, little boys wearing plaid shirts, running around in kneeless jeans, playing in the mud and being mischievous.
Mary Belle - Conrad - Elaina/Elena? - Jonas
April 16th, 2013 10:08 AM #3
I haven't adopted a child yet but my husband and I plan to in a few years. It is very important to us to keep the name but we will likely choose a middle name to add so all of our children will have a name we chose especially for them.Mama to my dear little bear <3
April 16th, 2013 10:19 AM #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
It depends on how old the child is. If he is old enough to be attached to his name, I think it would be traumatizing to change it.
April 16th, 2013 10:58 AM #7
Depending on the situation, I think the name should be kept in one form or another.
The only scenario I would change it is if the name is truly terrible. Not just doesnt fit perfectly with other children or not exactly what you would have chosen, but a terrible misspelling or Unicorn Butterfly or something. In some adoptions it makes sense to add/use an English name, but most of those that I've seen have been tastefully done to either use elements of the original name/keep the original name w/ the addition of a new one.
About the form...that would make me a little uneasy too! An age range, sure. Gender, maybe, maybe not. The rest seem awkward, I guess it's for people who want the child to "look like them"...but personally, I'd leave it blank.
April 16th, 2013 11:04 AM #9
If the child was still young, yes, I would change their first name to something that I liked more. I would definitely keep their birth name as their middle name.
I would consider filling out the gender part of a referral document but I could never fill out a hair color and eye color portion!** The opinions expressed above are not meant to be reflective of Nameberry as a whole but are my opinion and mine alone. **
Henry Nathaniel (3) and Julia Paige (1)
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