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June 22nd, 2013 01:01 PM #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2013
How do you tell if it's a name crush or a life-long love?
When I was 14 or so I made a long list of favorite names. I don't have it anymore, but I have a feeling that if I were to go back and look at it now, some of them would make me cringe or laugh.
Even now, sometimes there's a name I hear and think "wow, that's fun!" or am really infatuated with for a while....and then a couple months later I am bored with it or find it annoying or silly.
Now that I'm actually pregnant and we actually have to give a child a name in a few months, this thought is a little scary to me. What if we pick a name that is just a temporary crush, and then we're stuck with it?
So, how do you figure out if you're being pulled in by a trend or a fleeting attraction? How do you have confidence that you will continue to love the name in 5 years? I don't have any names that I've been certain about using since 5 years ago! (Especially tricky when there's a partner in the picture to agree with!) Do you have names you thought you loved and then realized it was just a crush? Or, alternatively, did you have a name that you didn't love at first glance, but gradually grew on you to become a life-long love?
June 22nd, 2013 01:29 PM #3
I find name crushes for me are usually trendy, or i can't picture them on a actual child. My true name loves are ones that I could actually picture on my child. Also they are the names that have withstood the test of time. When you think of names you like, what are the first ones that come to mind, or the ones you can envision with your child?
Good luck!Maddox (Max) James 08.31.13.
Boys Favourites: Holden, Theron (Theo), Aidan, Killian
Girls Favourites: Rosalie, Lucy, Lyra, Isla
June 22nd, 2013 01:30 PM #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
I think you can't tell. I have number of crushes over the years, and names that stick are:
But I don't love them as I loved Melisande, or Lucille, or Melise, or Aurora... These may be temporally crushes, but I will always be more content if I chose one I love, than those I find OK. Even if I loved them for a while.Sorry for bad English, I am from other country
June 22nd, 2013 01:37 PM #7Member
- Join Date
- May 2013
I think it helps, some, to envision the name on an actual person at each stage of life (baby, toddler, young kid, older kid, teenager, adult, elderly). If you can imagine it belonging to your baby at all those stages, then I think you can feel more confident that it'll stand the test of time for you. There is no way to be certain, of course, but I find that helpful for myself - if I love a certain name but can't actually imagine calling it across a playground to an 8 year old, then I relegate it to the "name crush" category for now.
On the other hand, while naming regret is something that happens, I think for the most part, once you have given a name to your child, they grow to fit it and embody it in such a way that you can't imagine having named them anything else. I think you will continue to love whatever you name your baby because that name will be so wrapped up with his or her identity.
June 22nd, 2013 01:47 PM #9
Well, I did the same thing when I was 13/14, and I still LIKE the names, but I probably wouldn't use them. I would say that my style has matured; my top two girl's names were Eliette (which I still think is cute) and Annalie (which I now find boring), and now my top two are Valentine (a more recent addition) and Helena (which I actually used to hate). Both of these might be infatuations, they've only held the top spots (Bumping out Annika and Summer) for the last two months.
I can see Valentine falling off the top for me, but I don't think it will. It has a great, solid meaning. It's different/uncommon enough that I don't think it'll reach the top 25/50 anytime soon, and plus the holiday and it's general acceptance as a boy's name. It doesn't have any vowel sounds I dislike (ee being my biggest pet peeve) and it's nice and long.
Helena is another matter. I didn't like it at first; I always thought it was rather clunky and not-nice sounding. But then I used it in a story, for a character. This forced me to spend some time with it, type it out, write it out, say it... and in the process I came to love it. It's harder to let go of something you worked for, and with Helena I inadvertently put a lot of time and effort into falling in love with it. It wasn't a 'love at first sight' thing, like many infatuations are. It was a process. I think Helena is here to stay.
I don't really have infatuation stories. I mean, if a name is an infatuation, it takes me about three days to get over it. At which point it stays on the list, just moves closer to the bottom. Names like Lisette and Artemis. Names that fit my style but don't really strike me the same way as others.I’m just trying to behave as I think a friend should behave. Granted, I haven’t had much practice.
~Elphaba Thropp, Wicked, by Gregory Maguire