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Thread: Can I use them?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    1,268

    Can I use them?

    So, I've been ignoring this for a long time, but now I really want others opinions. A lot of my favorite names (mostly boys names) are very close to names that have been used in my family. I love all these names and have been going back and forth on whether I should keep them on the list. My father's family can be very sensitive about names being too similar, but then again they're only one half of my family and I have the right to name my children what I want. But then again, I don't want to cause problems. So if I list the names and the family names they are similar too, could you tell me in your opinion if I could possibly use them?

    I will probably delete this post a little later, just because I mention a lot of my family members by name and I'm always worried about someone I know finding out about my name obsession!

    Boys:
    Jack - My little cousin has a dog named Jax. Everyone in my fathers family knows about this dog. Its not the exact same name but I can just see her mother (my aunt) complaining about how similar my sons name is to the dogs name.

    Oliver - My older cousin (little cousin's big sis) has a dog named Oliver. Again, everyone in the family knows about this dog. I could see a few specific people teasing me and my future son about sharing a name with a dog, and complaining because its confusing for them.

    Leo - This is the real problem name. I love this name so so much, I think its so freaking cute. All my siblings and I have Lee in our names and I think it be nice to pass on the trend somehow without getting trendy. However my half brother's name is Lee, just Lee. He is a decade older than me and my dad's son. I've never got to see him much because his mom kept him close when we were kids and now he's married and too busy to come visit. He does try to be a proper big brother, but we are not very close. Not only am I worried about my family's complaining but also, my dad has a speech impediment and gets names confused a lot (he mixes up me and my sister all the time). I could just see him mixing up Lee and Leo and even Kaylee, my sister. I know this may never be a problem. I might never have three sons, but part of me thinks I will and I need to prepare myself if I really have to part with the thought of a little Leo.

    Samuel nn Sam - I have a cousin named Samantha nn Sam. We aren't close, we don't see each other often, maybe four times a year tops. But a lot of my family who I do see quite often is close with her and it might confuse them.


    Girls:
    Annabel/Anneliese nn Anna - My cousins wife is Anna (pronounced On-na). I would pronounce Anna "Ann-a". One day I was chatting with my aunt, her mother-in-law, and we were talking about our family tree and I mentioned that our ancestor who brought our family over from France was named Anna and she just rolled her eyes and said "Not another Anna." I felt like I was punched in the gut. The name Annabel would be such a nice way to honor two family members but if I'm going to have to deal with comments from her then maybe I shouldn't even consider it. This Aunt can really hold a grudge and stir up trouble when she wants to and I'm afraid to cross her.

    Emmeline/Gemma - I have a teenage cousin named Emma. There was a lot of controversy before she was born because my sister was going to be born before her and called Emily. Her parents basically insisted my parents change my sisters name because it was too close to their girl name (they didn't even know whether it was a boy or girl then). I have been really falling for Gemma lately but I'm worried it would stir up too much old drama.

    Genevieve - This is a family name for me on my mom's side of the family. But on my dad's side I have a cousin Jennifer who has a daughter with "Jen" in her name as well. Is that too many "Jens"? I would probably nickname her Evie anyway but I don't think for a second that would stop people from calling her Gen.

    Caroline - I like this name but Im not crazy about. Its a family name on both sides for me and a nice less-popular alternative to Charlotte which I love but can't use anymore because of popularity. I would really like to use it as a middle name. My family wouldn't really have a problem with me using this name but I might. I have an Aunt Carol who is mentally retarded. She looks her age, knows she's fifty something but acts like an eight year old. I know if I ever had a daughter and name her Caroline (as either fn or mn) someone would point out the Carol in Caroline to her and suddenly my baby would become her baby because thats the way her brain works. She use to babysit me as a child and I hated how she acted like she "owned" me, I don't want my kid to go through worse.

    I'm not too concerned about the girls names because they're are plenty more names I like a lot more and I don't think I'm ever going to have any daughters to name anyway. I'm really concerned about the boys names because I love them so much and can't imagine not using them. I'm always concerned about what other people think and it would crush me if I couldn't use them because my family had a problem with them.
    Violet Gray
    Sad name-obsessed teenager and aspiring writer

    Current Name Crushes: August, Avery, & Flynn: Eliza, Georgiana & Dahlia

  2. #3
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Munchkinland
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    1,598
    um...I think you're way over-thinking this.

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    515
    I'd have to agree that you seem to be over-thinking it and worrying yourself unnecessarily. The only two that I think you might want to consider choosing a different names are Emmeline/Gemma (esp if you want Emma as a nn) and Oliver (since there actually already is a dog in your family with that exact name). Other than that I'd go right ahead!
    Lovely Ladies:
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    Lucy Magdalene ~ Susannah Violet ~ Caroline Mercy
    Elsa Evangeline ~ Jane Magnolia ~ Sylvia Pearl ~ Cassia Valentine


    Gallant Gents:
    Timothy Lewis ~ William Augustine ~ Sebastian Vincent
    Harrison Peter ~ Percy Maximilian ~ Owen Benedict
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  4. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,405
    The only problems I see are Oliver (I feel for you there - my boyfriend's brother has a dog named Ivy...grr) and maybe Samuel nn Sam.

  5. #9
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    7,075
    Before I write anything I want to say that:

    1. A lot of this depends on how often you see these people. If you see them on a weekly basis it's obviously going to be more of a problem than if you see them once a year. The gray area is where you have to decide. Is seeing them once a month enough for it to really be an issue? It's your call. I will answer based on you seeing these people quite regularly.

    2. If you're not currently pregnant or TTC then most of this will likely not be an issue by the time you are. Issues often seem larger when we're imagining them appearing than when they're actually in front of us. The dogs may be dead, the family members may move away, etc. etc. You never know, so don't make solid decisions before you're in a position to actually need to.



    Jack - no, that's not a problem at all. The name is not the same and is very common on top of being popular.

    Oliver - more rare and the exact same name, I'd consider this more of a problem

    Leo - meh, I see what you're saying but since you rarely ever see him and it's not actually the same name and all you have that in your name I don't see it as a real issue. Regarding your dad, I'm of the opinion that you have to use the name you love. My grandpa could never pronounce my name, but it was actually always a sweet thing between him and me because he was the only one who called me something different.

    Samuel - not a problem. I have cousins who share names and they're the same gender and relatively close in age. I can't imagine it being a problem when they are different genders, vastly different ages, and see each other 4 times a year.

    Annabel/Annaliese - is not the same as Anna even if you do use that for a nn. If you love it use it. People say things without considering the future implications. It's not the same name, not the same pronunciation, and it's a classic. Don't sweat it.

    Gemma - different name and decades later. Not an issue.

    Caroline - I can't imagine that being an issue, especially if it's a middle name.


    Honestly, I think you're really overreacting. When you come to the time when you do have to make these decisions if these are still seen as issues, after you've thrown it out to your family, then you can consider other options. But (again, when the time comes) only bring it to your family if you really want their opinion and are willing to change. If you aren't willing to change, just do it and they'll get over it, or they won't and you won't talk about it.

    I really don't see any of these as huge red flags, especially with time inevitably passing, so my best advice is to calm down and don't stress about problems that don't actually exist yet.
    Olivia/Livia/Livy/Liv : Thessaly/Darah/Bethel : Noelle/Eve
    Benedict/Eli: Jude/Zane: Luke/Darius : Levi/Phineas/Calvin


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