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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    1,109
    Rowan has my husband's last name and I don't. I made that decision because his last name is just nicer than mine and it's easier to spell and say. Everyone always says "Huh? Spell that?" when I tell them my surname. I also have my dad's last name and my parents were never married, so I grew up with a different last name than my mom. I don't remember there ever really being an issue, but I think it happens a lot more than people think so they're generally used to it.
    My cherished daughter, Rowan Jane. ~b. 10/2011~


    Sawyer ~ Aven ~ Elowen ~ Sage ~ Eilonwy ~ Eleanor
    Morgan ~ Asher ~ ___ ~ ___ ~ Currently trying to fill the blanks...


    Trying for #2 in January 2014.

  2. #23
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    SD, CA
    Posts
    360
    Thanks everyone. I guess in this day and age it shouldn't even be an issue. I suppose it is quite common for moms to have different last names than their children. Of course many women do keep their name when they marry. I wasn't even considering how many moms remarry and take their new husband's name. I am probably looking for practical and logistical issues mainly so that I can justify my emotional problem with having a different last name than my child.

    I did speak with my SO, and I told him how I feel. He was upset, but he left the decision whether or not to hyphenate up to me. He thinks that it will just reflect to society that we are not married and that our child comes from a broken home. I told him that absolutely is not what is reflected in a hyphenated name. Anyway, I am just surprised and a little upset that he has such traditional views about last names. He still thinks I should take his name. I really have never been with anyone so conservative, and it is a bit upsetting to me because I am on the progressive end of the societal spectrum in just about every regard. Yet, here we are having a child together. It should be quite interesting...

    So, I will be hyphenating our baby's name. Our child can use his or her father's surname alone if it's easier while in school, but I'd like my last name to be part of his or her last name officially and legally. It's what feels right to me.

    Thanks again for all your input.
    Mama to
    Desmond Sanders, born 7/2013
    and dog son, Lambeau

  3. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Humboldt, California
    Posts
    292
    I have my mother's name, and not my father's. And yes, they were together when I saw born though they split about a year later. I did have to explain it occasionally but it was never a big deal. People were just like "oh, okay" and made a note if necessary.

    I'd *like* to pass on my awesomely clunky German name down to my kids, but it's not a dealbreaker for me. I'd never hyphenate though. 12 letters and 4 syllables is more than long enough. I might insist on passing my name down if I had kids with someone named Smith/Jones/Johnson etc.
    Proud furmom to:
    Pepper, Kuno, Mia, Rosalind, Gwendolen & Cecily
    Currently loving:
    Elysia Maeve~Marina Isolde~Linnea Violetta~Minerva Sophronia~Merida Ianthe~Eleni Finola
    Tiernan Hugo~Felix Lysander~Orion Casimir~Caspian Milo~Evander Anslem~Leonidas Gavin
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Cosima Helene & Emrys Jasper

  4. #27
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    9
    Quote Originally Posted by yellow View Post
    That said, I am also in the camp of 'hyphenating is unsustainable.' I would never, ever fault others for choosing that path, I just can see why it doesn't end up working very well in the long run. Two hyphenated kids get married, then what? Four hyphenated names? What if one of them wants to take the other's last name, they take a hyphenated name and pass it on to their children? It just seems unpleasantly complicated for the descendants of the original hyphenaters. Not that I have some sort of progressive, everyone-wins solution, mind you. Girls take mom's name, boys take dads, maybe??
    I'm not a big fan of hyphenates, either, and my and my husband's last names are particularly clunky and long when paired together. Right now I'm leaning toward having one child, so we wanted a single name rather than an alternating or giving sons one name and daughters the other. We're going to combine our names into a new one, with the first half of mine and second half of his. Some friends of mine did the same thing, and they both took the name when they got married because they wanted to have the same name as their kids. I also know of a couple that picked a new name together when they got married.

  5. #29
    Hyphanating the last name does not indecate a broken home at all, my best friend has a hyphanated last name and her parents are married and have been since before they had kids. Mom kept her name and dad kept his.
    ~ Elisabeth Odelia "Elsie" ~ Gideon Boone ~
    ~ Adelheid Ruby "Addie Rue" ~ Theodore Solomon "Teddy"~
    ~ Casilda Josephine "Cassie Jo" ~ Zaccheaus Westley "Zeke" ~

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