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June 13th, 2013 02:33 AM #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2013
- SD, CA
Bounceparty- Thanks for the input. I am happy to hear you like Desmond, too. Positive feedback on a name is always great
namefan- The baby will most definitely have my SO's last name. That is non-negotiable. I am looking for reasonable arguments to give him why the baby should have my name in addition.Mama to
Desmond Sanders, born 7/2013
and dog son, Lambeau
June 13th, 2013 03:25 AM #8
I kept my last name because I love mine and think his seems very masculine and ruins the flow of my name. My son has his last name and there has never been any problems or questions about if I'm the mother. One of my brothers has my mother's maiden name while the rest of us have my dad's last name and there was never any questions about if he was my brother's father or any other hassles like that. If this next baby is a girl I am actually considering giving her my last name because it sounds more feminine and my husband has no real connection to his last name anyway, I don't anticipate any issues.
June 13th, 2013 03:33 AM #10
If you feel strongly about it, I would absolutely add your name to theirs, especially with it being a 3-letter name; it won't be some obnoxiously long hyphenated name. I don't have children, and am not married, though I'm in a long term committed relationship and we plan on having children soon. If we get married, I won't be taking his last name. I'm in fact in the process of changing my surname to a name I made up, and I won't ever change it again. Our children will have his surname, as I don't have a family name I feel strongly about carrying on. I do feel like that entitles me to a little sway in the first or middle however, since they're already getting one of his names.
My surname was changed when I was a little girl to match my mother's re-married name, and it's caused quite a lot of trouble, legally and otherwise. We shared a last name for part of my childhood, but from age 3/4 to roughly 10 we had different surnames (I still had my biological father's surname at that point and she had gone back to her maiden name) and I don't recall any major issues. A couple of children asked why we had different last names (she worked at the school so the kids knew her as Ms. So and So) and I do recall needing letters when traveling out of the country. So yes, stuff may come up but it's nothing major or seriously inconvenient.
What with blended families and the divorce rate, I don't think it's a particularly unique thing to not share a last name with your mother anymore. When I was a kid, it was still kind of uncommon, but I bet your kids, and mine, won't think much of it. So either way, hyphenated, second middle, or just his name, it shouldn't be an issue.Cordelia Eilonwy Snow | Thisbe Wildrose ● Damian Sparrow | Malachi Tristan Bjorn
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June 13th, 2013 10:26 AM #12
with having a different sir name than your child you can expect to be called Ms. Child'ssirname once and a while, but that's the only issue I can think of in day to day life.~ Elisabeth Odelia "Elsie" ~ Gideon Boone ~
~ Adelheid Ruby "Addie Rue" ~ Theodore Solomon "Teddy"~~ Casilda Josephine "Cassie Jo" ~ Zaccheaus Westley "Zeke" ~
June 13th, 2013 11:49 AM #14
I don't speak from personal experience but I only took my husband's last name because it sounded better than my alliterative first/ last names. I do, however, know dozens of women here who kept their maiden names or are not married and have had no issues with he fact that their children share their father's last name. Almost every Jewish friend I have kept her maiden name -I live in the Bible Belt so most Christians here are more traditional and change their names- and as in your situation, it's so common for parents not to be married now that it shouldn't ever be an issue as long as you obviously take proper identification for the child when traveling, etc. Obviously, the emotional aspect of it is something you'll have to decide about but I think it's refreshingly modern for a woman not to feel like she has to share her husband/ partner/ child's last name.Mom to 2 girls ♥ Bayard McConnell "Bay" & Marguerite Davis "Maple"