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June 17th, 2013 03:10 PM #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
Choosing years before after waiting to meet
We had a discussion about possible future children and decided to try for another in 2.5 years, circumstances allowing, and agreed on names for each gender. I know it's a very common thing to do, but I was adamant that we not fully settle on a name before meeting the baby the first time around. It was also pretty heavily anxiety based. This time though, I feel like it might make it easier to connect with the baby before it's born. It happened on its own with Ivan, which was terrifying for me.
I'm really happy that we waited to name Ivan because we were pretty attached to Odin before we met him. I know that if we had been calling my bump Odin, or worse, told people, I would have put so much pressure on myself to use it regardless.
Has anyone switched the naming process? Did you end up using the name you chose way ahead of time or renaming them when you met?Mommy to Mr. Ivan Eli
June 18th, 2013 09:20 PM #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
Maybe this is a bit more rambley than I thought. Sorry about that.Mommy to Mr. Ivan Eli
June 19th, 2013 02:11 AM #5
By dint of cultural tradition, I knew as soon as I agreed to marry my husband that our first son would be named Antoine. It's funny, for a lifelong onomast, my first pregnancy was rather anticlimactic from a naming perspective as the decision was ironclad.
For this second, I feel free to be completely capricious and change my mind at the last minute, though I'm a very decisive person and likely will not.XY: Antoine Raphael (3.1.2012)
XX: Cassia Viviane Noor (11.30.2013)
June 21st, 2013 10:04 PM #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2013
Whatever you do (choose the name ahead of time or wait and meet the baby), you probably should NOT tell anyone the baby's name before he/she is born.
My sister told everyone she was naming her first son Colin (my dad was seriously introducing her bump to his friends by name), and then she and her husband changed there minds and named him Daniel so he would have the same initials as his dad. They're both nice names, don't get me wrong, but we weren't expecting a surprise. She also ended up feeling like she couldn't use the name Colin for her second son because of the whole situation, so she named him Cole instead (similar, but different) and our mom still doesn't like it.
My best friend also asked for tons of naming advice/opinions while she was pregnant with her daughter. Literally EVERYONE she asked was singing the praises of this one name, and then when the baby was born she named her something completely different (that she had told me her boyfriend had already vetoed). Everyone said they loved the name, but you could just tell they were a little disappointed that she didn't pick the name everyone was so excited about at the baby shower.
When we were expecting our daughter, we didn't know whether we were having a boy or a girl. We had names picked out for both (a boy name that is pretty much set in stone and a couple of girl options), but if anyone asked we told them we were still thinking about it. We're considering finding out the gender with baby #2 just to have a different experience, but we probably won't share any names until the baby is born even it's a boy. I'm 99% sure we would use the name we have had picked out forever, but you never know.
June 21st, 2013 11:51 PM #9
I remember when I was a kid, and my friend's mom went to the hospital to have Baby Malachi. I remember one of my parents having our camcorder and telling me to say happy birthday to Baby Malachi. And then we found out that she had named him Micah instead. I guess he just didn't seem like a Malachi once he was born. It wasn't a big deal; he was named Micah and that was the end of it.
I suppose that experience gave me perspective that says, it's really not a big deal to change your mind. But, I've always had cold feet about officially announcing a child's name before he's born, because I'm always afraid I will change my mind when I actually meet the child! My head tells me that my friend's mom did it, and the world was fine, so I could do it too; and yet I'm too afraid to announce the name. Even though I've never changed my mind (except for switching up a middle name).
There could be advantages in announcing what you're thinking ahead of time, if you want to "reserve" names among family -- but then you also run the risk of someone else "stealing" the name. It's a VERY controversial subject. I have a sister who has been very open about all the names she likes because she doesn't want to "share" names in the family. It's fine, we have the kind of relationship that can handle it. My private opinion, however, is that now that she's really expecting, some dark horse candidate we've never heard of will run off on my new niece or nephew's birth certificate!
@blade - LOL . This same friend who had Micah instead of Malachi, told people that she was naming her first baby Polly Esther, just to keep them off her case (and then named her Cassandra).
@thatkathryngirl - well, now I'm wondering what that wonderful name was that got rave reviews!