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Thread: Babies Due January-March 2014
April 17th, 2014 12:57 PM #1201
Hi ladies - I’m trying to catch up on all kinds of things. The virus I mentioned last time I stopped by here ended up being one of these deals where the pukes came back just when you thought you were on the mend. It was alternating days of feeling bad and feeling horrible for a whole week. Even the baby had something going on, because she cried pitifully for about three days.
And then — next came the inevitable overload of backlogged housework. The laundry and general mess realized by a family of 7 suffering a week of a stomach bug is nearly incomprehensible. O.O
Things are back under control now, but I’m still feeling pretty out-of-sorts and run-down in general. I have too much going on, but I feel like the hormones are being particularly nasty to me this time.
So I’ll try to get in a reply to some of these messages I’ve missed over the past couple of weeks —
@babylove - The whole question of “baby led” or “parent led” feedings/schedules is highly, highly controversial. Like most things, you really have to find the thing that you think is best, both philosophically and practically. Personally, I think idea of having a 6-week-old sleep through the night is appealing, but in the end I find that I’m not very impressed with the reality of putting a tiny baby on a strict schedule. I think they need some time to adjust from being inside you, call cozy, all the time, to a very different life on the outside; I think they need a bit more maturity before being expected to be independent. There’s starting to be research showing that “crying it out” for long periods of time at an extremely young age might be psychologically damaging, which I think at least merits consideration, whatever your position on the subject of parent-led scheduling. Good luck on whatever you decide though -- he's YOUR baby and in the end, YOU are the one who knows him best and what's going to be the right thing. It’s all very difficult to wade through though, as a parent, because there's always someone to tell you that whatever thing you’re doing is going to kill/maim/retard/damage your child. Sometimes you just feel like you can't win!
As for the fussing — do discuss things with your pediatrician, especially if you think there’s something wrong. On the other hand, you could very well have nasty gas issues, or colic. I remember one of my friend’s moms had a surprise baby when we were about 12, and this baby inexplicably screamed bloody murder for the first year. The doctor couldn’t find a problem and the parents couldn’t find a problem, and there was just nothing they could do to help the kid. They just about lost their minds! I'm always thankful when I DON'T get a baby like that one was! A totally different thing you might consider is that maybe little Jem is just feeling lonely or insecure without you. I know, I know. So many things to think about. Have you tried the Moby wrap carriers? I (and my babies) find they are much more comfortable than ready-made carriers like the Baby Bjorn. Sometimes it’s just a matter of finding a carrier that is comfortable for both of you. Anyway, chin up, this first year is intense but it really will pass.
@milasmama - Sorry you still have the bleeding issues; it sounds sort of ridiculous! I’m still having the occasional spotting, not much but I wish it would go away for good already. Mila, Cato and Atlas would be a pretty smashing trio. My large family is pretty great, even if slightly exhausting, so I’m biased and hope you decide to go for #3 someday. You've had a tough road to motherhood though.
@frances - Wow, what a tough choice! I'm glad you're feeling better about it now. Enjoy your little men!
@katie, I mean @truenature — I was like, wait, what?? Who is truenature? And then I’m like, wait, what? You’re back at work already? AND Corey lost his job? I’m so, so sorry. That just makes everything else ten bajillion times worse than usual: yeah, who cares about the rhododendron! I feel your pain about the nursing bras. My biggest one from last time is a triple-D and it’s too small. Seriously, I was a B-cup when we got married. It’s like I turned into the supersize mammary factory.
Oh. My. Your potty-mouthed toddler, LOL. Better keep her at home for awhile so she doesn’t cuss out the library or something, haha!
Okay, I’m out of time — congratulations to the healthy and growing twins all around & it’s nice to see updates from all of you!My March arrival:
We call her Daisy
in honor of my mom.
April 17th, 2014 03:45 PM #1203
@ sarah, I can't even imagine having to clean up after a family of 7 with a stomach bug. Ick. I can barely keep up with our regular laundry! Seriously there is a huge To Be Folded pile on our couch as I type this.
Yes, I'm actually having a lot of fun being back to work, I love being up & moving (on my feet for 6+ hours straight), and talking to grown ups about my favourite things (good food & music & drinks)! But it is hard on the girls. Indira still doesn't want the bottle and 7 hours or whatever is a LONG time for her to go without eating. I talked to our doctor about it & he said that since she's such a healthy weight -13.5 lbs - he isn't worried about it. He said to just keep trying to give her a bottle (or sippy cup since that is so different from a boob apparently some babies take that better) & if she's hungry eventually she will take it.
Yeah Corey's contract isn't being renewed, so as of May 02 he switches from parental leave (with our hefty top-up from work) to just regular parental leave (EI). If he can find another position there within 90 days he will have to go back to work (sad cause we were looking forward to both being home in the Summer) but at least then we won't have to pay back the amount that his work topped him up already. Ack. He was saying too that if he can't find a position there he will just cash out some of his pension to pay that money back. Not ideal but at least we know we have a plan.
As for boobs, OMG dude I am regularly an E but am wearing a 30G right now & popping out. It is STUPID (actually I'm still smaller than I was when I had Azula, I was a J cup then). I miss being able to buy a bra for 20-30 bucks!!!!
My husband took a video of her swearing & put it on Facebook. Yeesh, way to show off our stellar parenting.
Not sure if I mentioned we have been eating (mostly) vegan around here, still a little dairy... but my family is coming for Easter dinner this weekend and I am SUPER excited to make a turkey. Getting ready to prepare the brine now.
Last edited by truenature; April 17th, 2014 at 03:47 PM.Azula "Zu" Rosemary
Indira "Indy" Coral
April 18th, 2014 11:59 AM #1205Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
Thanks for your input Sara! It took me almost 2 months, but I have finally come to terms with a very important lesson-
Theories, opinions (even from a dr.), books... They only get you so far. At the end of the day, your child is one of a kind. That's a beautiful thing, and also means that even the best theory or advice might never apply. I know him better than anyone else, and have to use my instincts. That's hard for a first time mom. But I'm coming to terms with it!
Also coming to terms with the fact that Jem is going to do what he is going to do! He will sleep through the night when he is ready, nap when he is tired, and eat when he is hungry. I'm learning that my job as a mom is to just to help him get in tune with his own body and patterns, guide him along the best I can. Currently that means that I let him fall asleep and stay asleep on me to prevent him being overtired later! Whatever gets you through, right?
April 18th, 2014 07:17 PM #1207
Cato doesn't cry much at all. We've been lucky with him because Mila cried a lot as a baby. Well, the last couple of days he has been fussy and cried more but he has also just had his posterior tongue tie and lip tie lasered so he's not too happy about that
Babylove, definitely whatever gets you through!Mother to two lovely kiddos, Mila Arden and Cato Bennett
Currently dreaming of...
Atlas, Callahan, Caius, Ezra, Bram, Atticus, Aspen, Sylvan, Constantine, Perrin & Pascoe
Lyra, Elodie, Elowen, Isis, Artemis, Sylvia, Vesper, Anouk, Willa, Cassia, Elka & Sage
April 23rd, 2014 07:26 AM #1209
Oh man, I feel like I've been hit with a truck. Over Easter weekend, Azula spent 2 days & 1 night with her grandparents & was undisciplined and overstimulated like crazy (every single time I get her back after a day with them I'm like NEVER AGAIN) & she didn't nap AT ALL and getting her back on track this week so far has been difficult. Today she was the WORST. Whining, demanding, shrieking like a Nazgul... On top of dealing with Indira, it was just too much for me today. Sometimes I just want to find myself a dark quiet closet or something & hide in there for the next 20 years.
How do you deal with overindulgent grandparents? My mother in particular has zero sense when in comes to how to care for a toddler (ironic because she works with families with children 0-6) - she just basically lets her do WHATEVER she wants & is constantly overstimulating her... & it makes me crazy.Azula "Zu" Rosemary
Indira "Indy" Coral