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Thread: Babies Due January-March 2014
September 26th, 2013 10:53 AM #516Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
- Des Moines, IA
Ah Mothers-in-Law... I have one. She's 83, almost 84 years old.
So my MiL is 50 years older than me... she's older than my grandparents. And completely set in her ways. We never have to worry about her just showing up, because she has only visited us once in 9 years. And that was when Weston was born. She stayed a week and acted like it was a vacation. I was recovering from a c-section and she told me to rest, that she would take care of him - so for 3 days I listened to him cry for 30 minutes every morning. She said that babies needed to cry. Um, at 3 weeks old? They cry at 8am because he needs changed and cuddled before his 8:30 bottle. I was, and am still, so mad.
She has already said that she is coming down for a visit, but she won't help feed, change or carry them. Um? Nope. I told her that we don't have room for her. (And we don't. We need to buy a guest bed just for this reason.) I told the DH that since she isn't going to help with the overnight, etc, that she can stay in a hotel and have visits. But she is not staying with me. And that he has to make sure that he is off work for her visit. (Last time she purposefully came when he had gone back to work.)
She also expects us to bring 3 children up to visit (3.5 hour drive) in the winter because she thinks we should always come to her. She wanted to have our baby shower after they were born, so she wouldn't have to visit. I told her the only way that could happen was if the shower was held in my town, not hers. That didn't go over well. I told her that the shower needed to be in November - before I got put on travel restriction, and before the winter arrives making driving impossible.
on another note... I am feeling angry, and selfish, and miserable... and thrilled by how much these little boys are moving!
My Mom had a sore throat a week ago. But Tuesday she was admitted to the hospital; by 6pm that night she was transferred to the main hospital in the state; by 10pm that night, the doctors had called it a Recurrence of ALL - Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. My mom battled this in 2010, and had a Stem Cell Transplant in 2011. In 2012, she battled a localized spot with radiation and everything was fine.
To say this is a shock is an understatement. We had so many plans for this Fall... making blankets for these boys, refinishing 2 dressers for their room, decorating all 3 boys' rooms. She was coming out to stay with me for about 2 weeks to pick up Weston from School when daycare is closed. And she was coming out when these boys are born for weeks to help. I feel so selfish thinking of all the things she won't be able to do with me... and wondering how they are going to get done.
I am so angry because I can't leave and be with her. The last time, I had a job that gave me plenty of sick time in addition to vacation, and allowed me to work from the hospital. Now... this stupid job has no sick time, and only 64 hours a year of Paid Time Off... and I have to save 5 days for short-term disability (our version of maternity leave.) I just don't have time. And I just wish I could be there. adding in the fact that the update I got this morning from my sister was actually on Facebook - man was I pissed! Seriously, she couldn't text me or call? Before posting? Ugh! That just adds to the "I can't be there" anger/guilt/misery.
And one of my friends (only 35 yrs old) is also dying of cancer - only 6 weeks after diagnosis! She's at home with Hospice. We were just talking about new babies, and whether she and her husband were going to try for another one, since their 9 yr old daughter wanted a sibling so badly. It's beyond tragic.
So Pregnancy Hormones plus Cancer. I'm not in the best place most of the time. And the fact that no one wants to stress me out - it's not working. I just want to bury my head in a cold pillow and cry myself to sleep most of the time.
Sorry to vent... I just don't have anywhere else that I feel safe enough to do it.
Oh! And these boys have been moving like crazy! I saw it on the outside of my shirt last night, and DH felt it just a little bit, finally! He really needs to work on relaxing and being patient - they move when they want.
Last edited by grecianern; September 26th, 2013 at 10:56 AM.Mom to:
Weston Christopher, July 2008
Keegan Nathaniel, Dec. 12, 2013
Sebastian Miller, Dec. 12, 2013
~ Emerson ~ Eden ~ Rosalind ~ Caroline ~ Matilda ~ Gemma ~
~ Landon ~ Kellan ~ Asher ~ Griffin ~ Archer ~ Edison ~ Holden ~ Harrison ~ Elliot ~
September 26th, 2013 11:10 AM #518Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
Can't believe all of the little boys we will be having!
My appointment went well yesterday! Strong little heartbeat of 150! I set up my next appointment and we should find out gender October 22nd!! Yay!! I'm so excited. As for the fifths thing- they did a blood test to see if I have been exposed to it. Results will come back next week. Then they will retest at my next appointment. Hoping I am clear of it!! If not they can do some further tests. I came into work today (dr said it should be fine) and another kid has a rash. They say its allergies. I'm not so sure though. I hope I am just overreacting and over thinking all this! Ugh :P
September 26th, 2013 11:11 AM #520Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
Oh on another note- anyone taking the gummy prenatals? I was doing fine with the one a days until I ran out. I tried a different brand which made me sick. So I switched back. But ever since, they have sort of upset my stomach. My dr suggested the gummies. Has this worked for anyone?
September 26th, 2013 03:48 PM #522
@greci, I am so sorry hun, And I totally understand what you're going through right now. My mom is currently going through chemotherapy and is at my house all the time. I feel terrible because I want to be there for her but I also have my family to think about and we were going to start TTC right when she got her diagnosis. The guilt is overwhelming. My mom is not the easiest person to get along with (especially live with!) and she is grating on every single nerve I have. I am angry because I feel like she did this to herself (would not quit smoking) and she is only 63 years old, I'm only 26 and I feel like I was robbed of my "young, family time" because I shouldn't be having to deal with a sick/possibly terminally sick mother at this point in my life. Sigh. I can't imagine how you must feel being pregnant through all of that.My cherished daughter, Rowan Jane. ~b. 10/2011~
Sawyer ~ Aven ~ Elowen ~ Sage ~ Eilonwy ~ Eleanor
Morgan ~ Asher ~ ___ ~ ___ ~ Currently trying to fill the blanks...
Trying for #2 in January 2014.
September 26th, 2013 06:04 PM #524
Katie & Sarah - Thank you! You are right, she just wants to be involved and since there hasn't been a baby in her family for 28 years, they just want to be a part of this and I am sure they always wanted to see their kid's kids use their things. I should arm myself with more info on the safety standards, because as a mom I'm sure she'd understand - and maybe if I bring up that it's all been in an attic untouched for over 20 years, it may not be safe for use anymore. For the most part, we've been trying to explain that financially for us, my sister's stuff makes more sense because the crib turns into a toddler bed, so it'll save us money down the line. But, you know, maybe I am not being clear that we want her involved and maybe that is where this is all stemming from, so maybe if I do that, the rest will subside a bit. Wishful thinking? Or I will take Katie's advice and tell them that they should keep it at their houses for the baby to use, you know if it's still safe to use. And Sarah, you hit the nail on the head, it can be so overwhelming.
Greci - I am so sorry! I can't even imagine. I don't think any of your feelings are selfish, I think they are completely normal. And as for your sister posting on Facebook before calling you is completely wrong - at least in my book. I had to deal with that same problem when my Aunts and Grandpa suddenly passed within months of each other. I have no idea why people think that is okay. But I was in a position where I could take control of that situation and I did, so no family would get their feelings hurt, be angry, or find out in such a cold manner. That has got to be beyond hard to deal with especially while pregnant. I will be sending you happy, healthy vibes, thoughts, and prayers to you and your family.Astrid Harley Scarlett is here! Born 3/7.