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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    3

    Changing last name

    Hello! I've been skulking around Nameberry for a while, but I've just now created an account. I'm engaged now, and part of the pre-wedding planning is if I'll be changing my last name. I had always planned on changing my last name when I got married, but my fiancé's surname clashes horribly with my first name. They are different by only one syllable, and even those two syllables are very similar. The more I say it, the better is sounds to me, but I'm still not sure if I want to change it. But the only reason I have for not changing it is purely aesthetic, and I feel like that isn't necessarily a good enough reason. What do you think?

  2. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    187
    I just got married so I know what you are going through. I do not have an issue with my husbands last name but I have an attachment to mine (it's who I am and suits me) so I kept debating between dropping it and taking his, not taking his or hyphenating. I decided on hyphenation but some of my friends didn't take their husbands. If it bothers you I would hyphenate or not take it! But that's totally a personal decision.
    Shannon, recently married my BFF and TTC our first <3

  3. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Humboldt, California
    Posts
    288
    Would it sound better if you hyphenated it? There's nothing wrong with keeping your name, IMO, but it seems like the only thing holding you back from changing it is how it sounds.

    I saw a birth announcement for a baby. I'm not using the real name here, but say the family's name was Bailey. The mom's name was Bayleigh. That was not a choice I would have made.
    Proud furmom to:
    Pepper, Kuno, Mia, Rosalind, Gwendolen & Cecily
    Currently loving:
    Elysia Maeve~Marina Isolde~Linnea Violetta~Minerva Sophronia~Merida Ianthe~Eleni Finola
    Tiernan Hugo~Felix Lysander~Orion Casimir~Caspian Milo~Evander Anslem~Leonidas Gavin
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    Cosima Helene & Emrys Jasper

  4. #7
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Munchkinland
    Posts
    1,598
    When I got married, I knew I was going to take my husband's last name. It's a tradition, it would make us sound like a family, I would share a last name with our future children, he wanted me to...there are a lot of reasons why I wanted to do it. That being said, it was still a little sad. You grow attached to things, like last names, after having them for 20-something years. I don't dislike my husband's last name at all. It sounds very nice actually; so nice people often use it as a first name for their daughters. It still took awhile to get used to it, though. And I mourned the loss of my original last name a little bit. I liked the way it sounded with my first name. Everyone did, I would seriously get compliments on it sometimes. The odd Y in my first name seemed less out of place to me when I had a last name with a Y in it. But, over time, you just get used to hearing your first name with a different last name. One thing you could do if you're really concerned about disliking the sound of your first name with his last name is to just add his last name to the end of your full name. That gives you the choice of still being referred to by either on separately or both together.

  5. #9
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    1,809
    Welcome to Nameberry, and congratulations on your engagement! Another option, apart from the obvious hyphenation, is to legally take his surname but continue to go by your maiden name in everyday use. You would formally carry only his surname, so that is how you would sign things, but your daily alias would be your maiden name, the one that you feel sounds better. That way you are giving him the gift and honor of taking his name, and your household would have an official unified surname, but you could introduce yourself to people as your old name and keep your old name on Facebook and other such unofficial places, since that is the name that sounds better to you. How does your fiance feel about the whole thing?

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