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  1. #26
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,593
    I've already replied to a couple of similar threads, but I'll respond again!

    I got married last August and I haven't changed my name. My reasons have absolutely nothing to do with aesthetics - my surname is a fine name and so is my husband's. I felt like (and I'm fully aware not everybody feels this way and I'm not having a go at those who choose to change their names) by changing my name, a part of me was being absorbed into my husband, as though I was losing part of my individuality. I know you DO lose part of your individuality by marrying, but my name is a key part of my identity. I thought about my decision for a long time because my husband wanted (and still wants) me to change my name. We don't have children yet, but when we do they will have his surname. I occasionally use my husband's surname (for example, my name on Facebook is Sarah Maidenname Marriedname and when I send cards to people I put our name on the return address as J & S Marriedname. However, my name is not legally changed in any way and still appears as my maiden name on driver's licence, bank account, medicare, etc.
    Audrey - Beatrice - Clara - Daphne - Flora - Jane - Mabel - Susannah

    Arthur - Barnaby - Edward - Frederick - Henry - Rupert - Theodore - Walter

  2. #28
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,593
    Quote Originally Posted by augusta_lee View Post
    My name is part of who I am. It connects me to my heritage and even more importantly to my grandfather, who passed away several years ago. Aesthetically it isn't the best surname ever; it's very traditional, very Jewish, and goes horribly with most of my favorite names. I don't care. My wife or husband can either take my name, keep their own, or hyphenate; our kids will be hyphenated or have my name. I wouldn't change it for the world, and frankly I don't understand women who do.
    I agree with this completely! Apart from the part about being Jewish
    Audrey - Beatrice - Clara - Daphne - Flora - Jane - Mabel - Susannah

    Arthur - Barnaby - Edward - Frederick - Henry - Rupert - Theodore - Walter

  3. #30
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    2,536
    I don't think I would change my name, but I may or may not get married. Like @lexikj, my surname is rare and seemingly easy, but people have a dickens of a time trying to pronounce it. And as my fathers side of the family is, for lack of a better word, dying out, I've become rather attached to it. It's become part of my identity, and I would feel like I was losing a part of me. I would be willing to hyphenate my name with his (it'd be a bonus if he chose to do it as well), or have our children hyphenate too. But I'm not comfortable with being Mrs. John Smith.
    -Athena

    Top Girls: Under Construction

    Top Boys: Under Construction

  4. #32
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Liverpool, England
    Posts
    4,115
    Quote Originally Posted by charlieandperry1 View Post
    I'd change mine. And I wouldn't ever join my name with future husband's- so much more hassle and confusion!

    My reasons for why:

    - I'm very traditional and taking husband's name has always been done in my family
    - I'm not massively attached to my surname
    - My identity doesn't depend on my surname
    - I'd like to have the same surname as future husband and future children
    - I don't need to keep my maiden name to feel close to my family
    - People expect it- I'd still get called Mrs Smith even if I wanted to be Mrs Jones
    - There are boys in my family to carry the name on
    - I just want to!
    This is a much better summary of how I feel. Totally agree.

    Quote Originally Posted by augusta_lee View Post
    I wouldn't change it for the world, and frankly I don't understand women who do.
    ^^ This is the attitude I don't understand. If I changed my name to my husbands it would be my choice just like your choice to keep your own name. How is that wrong or bad?
    ~Boys~

    Jory Leander Atticus, August Eli Benedict, Casimir Mordecai Stewart,
    Edmond John Meirion, Horatio Ethell Emery, Bram William Jasper,
    Julian Remy Charles, Vasiliy Lochlan Michael.


    ~Girls~

    Aira Rose ___, Eleni Fiorella Charlotte, Sylvia Sayuri Noor,
    Merit Eleanora Adelaide, Clover Elodie Seraphine, Bridie Scarlett Viola,
    Marguerite Cecilia Iris, Eilidh Clara Valentine.


    Sorry to anyone who read TSI. First draft was terrible. Second drafting now.

  5. #34
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,887
    I'm getting married and I will be changing my last name. I had mixed feelings about it but it means a lot to him and honestly, I'm not any less of a part of my family with a different last name. I won't stop being me and what I've accomplished to this point with my maiden name won't stop being mine if I change my last name.

    It's a personal preference thing. I know women who have and haven't. No judgement either way. It's wonderful to live in a world where we have the choice now.
    My darling little Bean is a G I R L!
    Making her debut September 2014

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