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  1. #26
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,518
    I've already replied to a couple of similar threads, but I'll respond again!

    I got married last August and I haven't changed my name. My reasons have absolutely nothing to do with aesthetics - my surname is a fine name and so is my husband's. I felt like (and I'm fully aware not everybody feels this way and I'm not having a go at those who choose to change their names) by changing my name, a part of me was being absorbed into my husband, as though I was losing part of my individuality. I know you DO lose part of your individuality by marrying, but my name is a key part of my identity. I thought about my decision for a long time because my husband wanted (and still wants) me to change my name. We don't have children yet, but when we do they will have his surname. I occasionally use my husband's surname (for example, my name on Facebook is Sarah Maidenname Marriedname and when I send cards to people I put our name on the return address as J & S Marriedname. However, my name is not legally changed in any way and still appears as my maiden name on driver's licence, bank account, medicare, etc.
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  2. #28
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,518
    Quote Originally Posted by augusta_lee View Post
    My name is part of who I am. It connects me to my heritage and even more importantly to my grandfather, who passed away several years ago. Aesthetically it isn't the best surname ever; it's very traditional, very Jewish, and goes horribly with most of my favorite names. I don't care. My wife or husband can either take my name, keep their own, or hyphenate; our kids will be hyphenated or have my name. I wouldn't change it for the world, and frankly I don't understand women who do.
    I agree with this completely! Apart from the part about being Jewish
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    Alice - Beatrix - Clara - Daphne - Flora - Harriet - Mabel - Susannah

    Arthur - Barnaby - Edward - Frederick - Henry - Rupert - Theodore - Walter

  3. #30
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    2,518
    I don't think I would change my name, but I may or may not get married. Like @lexikj, my surname is rare and seemingly easy, but people have a dickens of a time trying to pronounce it. And as my fathers side of the family is, for lack of a better word, dying out, I've become rather attached to it. It's become part of my identity, and I would feel like I was losing a part of me. I would be willing to hyphenate my name with his (it'd be a bonus if he chose to do it as well), or have our children hyphenate too. But I'm not comfortable with being Mrs. John Smith.
    -Athena

    Top Girls: Under Construction

    Top Boys: Under Construction

  4. #32
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Liverpool, England
    Posts
    3,964
    Quote Originally Posted by charlieandperry1 View Post
    I'd change mine. And I wouldn't ever join my name with future husband's- so much more hassle and confusion!

    My reasons for why:

    - I'm very traditional and taking husband's name has always been done in my family
    - I'm not massively attached to my surname
    - My identity doesn't depend on my surname
    - I'd like to have the same surname as future husband and future children
    - I don't need to keep my maiden name to feel close to my family
    - People expect it- I'd still get called Mrs Smith even if I wanted to be Mrs Jones
    - There are boys in my family to carry the name on
    - I just want to!
    This is a much better summary of how I feel. Totally agree.

    Quote Originally Posted by augusta_lee View Post
    I wouldn't change it for the world, and frankly I don't understand women who do.
    ^^ This is the attitude I don't understand. If I changed my name to my husbands it would be my choice just like your choice to keep your own name. How is that wrong or bad?
    ~Boys~

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  5. #34
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,879
    I'm getting married and I will be changing my last name. I had mixed feelings about it but it means a lot to him and honestly, I'm not any less of a part of my family with a different last name. I won't stop being me and what I've accomplished to this point with my maiden name won't stop being mine if I change my last name.

    It's a personal preference thing. I know women who have and haven't. No judgement either way. It's wonderful to live in a world where we have the choice now.
    My darling little Bean is a G I R L!
    Making her debut September 2014

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